Christmas and it's supposed to be all about life and the birth of the Blessed Infant. Friends with new babies charm me and comfort me, this week, as we bury our Mother and our formerly loving family circle seems lost and hostile and not likely to gather well. The sudden death loss of my beloved husband taught me something ... NOT good about death. Are we supposed to be good about death? Actually , yes...but NEVER as coldly and godlessly as the current trend is selling it.
"There is no answer - seek it lovingly" covers the difficult things and moments - NOT the bloodless, soulless mess some are making of the beautiful process of change in life.
The latest? "Death Cleaning" - in which the ailing or older person keeps their home with things ready for removal upon their death. To actually call it "Death Cleaning" - no.
We might as well get serious about coffin-sleeping - done in hot climates for sanitary reasons and superstitious ones.
The tidied elder residence is very very good , for health and beauty, but NOT to call it "Death Cleaning" please. And NOT to impose. If the person themselves feels okay with it, fine. But you have no idea how abusive it is to be browbeaten into throw away parts of themselves along the journey, against their will. The joy of aging is dignity and pride in ourselves for handling life’s moments with courage and even fun and collecting and caring for the things associated with our worthy lives.
And artist friend felt that he WANTED to clear things, since his name on the art was famous; he feared leaving behind works that did not come up to speed and personal effects he did NOT want found and misunderstood by strangers and him not alive to explain. But that is the "horse of a different color" - the worth of the soul is upheld here , similarly, though the action is quite the contrary to "death cleaning".
Worse, I howled when my beloved godmother died because her great senior condo rules stated “ cleared out in 14 days” after death. BAD. There was not allowed even the legal golden rule thirty days to give the family the golden rule 7-10 days to worship , witness, inter and pray and comfort one another. I yelled for a change to thirty days for such
We are LIFE ! At death times, we write poems, give endowments, spend special times with the family and forever after, we show our love for life in memories of the one who passed, shared with all who might enjoy them. We support our own lives, when we honor the aging , dying and the dead.
But our changing society and its ways is threatening that. Pay attention and act in support of your elders - they ARE YOU in a few years.