Everything perfect for the Infant

Christmas and it's supposed to be all about life and the birth of the Blessed Infant.  Friends with new babies charm me and comfort me, this week,  as we bury our Mother and our formerly loving family circle seems lost and hostile and not likely to gather well.   The sudden death loss of my beloved husband taught me something ... NOT good about death.  Are we supposed to be good about death?  Actually , yes...but NEVER as coldly and godlessly as the current trend is selling it.  

 "There is no answer - seek it lovingly" covers the difficult things and moments - NOT the bloodless, soulless mess some are making of the beautiful process of change in life.  

The latest?  "Death Cleaning"  -  in which the ailing or older person keeps their home with things ready for removal upon their death.  To actually call it "Death Cleaning" - no.        
We might as well get serious about coffin-sleeping - done in hot climates for sanitary reasons and superstitious ones.

The tidied elder residence is very very good , for health and beauty, but NOT to call it "Death Cleaning" please.   And NOT to impose.   If the person themselves feels okay with it, fine.   But you have no idea how abusive it is to  be browbeaten into  throw away parts of themselves along the journey, against their will.    The joy of aging is dignity and pride in ourselves for handling life’s moments with courage and even fun and collecting and caring for the things associated with our worthy lives. 

And artist friend felt that he WANTED to clear things, since his name on the art was famous; he feared leaving behind works that did not come up to speed and personal effects he did NOT want found and misunderstood by strangers and him not alive to explain.   But that is the "horse of a different color" - the worth of the soul is upheld here , similarly, though the action is quite the contrary to "death cleaning".     

 Worse, I howled when  my beloved godmother died because her great senior condo rules stated “ cleared out in 14 days” after death.  BAD. There was not allowed  even the legal golden rule thirty days to give the family the golden rule 7-10 days to worship , witness, inter and pray and comfort one another.   I yelled for a change to thirty days for such

We are  LIFE !   At death times, we write poems, give endowments, spend special times with the family and forever after, we show our love for life in memories of the one who passed, shared with all who might enjoy them.   We support our own lives, when we honor the aging , dying and the dead.

But our changing society and its ways is threatening that.  Pay attention and act in support of your elders - they ARE YOU in a few years.  

Halloween - True Bugz Story

It began in August and Hallowe'en before it won its happy ending!   
But MY HALF-A-HOUSE is perfect again - the lovely garden apartment on Connecticut's Porter Brook is inspiring new artwork once more!   Once again from the wonderful old rockers,  we enjoy the view from the spotless, cozy porch.  The  place had been fine for half a century, and for me as its current tenant, lovely for going on three years!  And is again, but....

A misadventure threatened mightily at that point  - it was summer 2015;  the  property owner is a builder and the things from the old  lower level were moved temporarily to my porch to make a suite and balcony from another wing of the house, once used for storage.  The stored antique items and carpets, and assorted ‘stuff’ plus building materials made our weekly shining up of my porch not possible, for about ninety days.    

But soon the building was done and the new wing was a showpiece and its gardens planted. The only thing missing was the magazine photographer.  It is really nice!    We scheduled a tag sale to find new homes for all the "stuff"  that had been stored in the room before the renovation - and some for new storage and the trash -  so I immersed in the gathering of things to dust and label them - and walked into an 'insect armageddon' !   
 
  I had a dust cloth in hand and used it as a weapon as I beat a hasty retreat to the safety of my apartment. But it was not to be such an easy win. They got me on the porch and then moved to the area immediately INSIDE my door.  From the underside of my desk, even after sprays and clearing the porch and vacuuming - for several days they would bite my legs from the knees to the top of the thighs. I stopped counting the bite marks at 55 - some black-purple, some red and a few as large as kiwis - the horseflies I think - not sure.  It might also have been bees and wasps - there were dead ones in the cleanup.
The porch had only one adjoining wall - my  entryway - and our local bug experts helped to NOT over-react - we'd  win through to normal with the use of a top quality bug spray, thoroughly done and repeated every few weeks, for a few months;  such a wiser choice was guaranteed to get it back to normal.

That was almost a month ago and YES - victory is ours!   Life is sunny and normal again at home.    

Of course,  it has taken that long to repeat the cleanup of the place and of ME - and the cost.  
I see the doctor this week - cost covered by my insurance - and finally back to pool aerobics - but I really had too many visible injured spots to expect to be welcome in my swimsuit in the pool - it wasn't pretty. Months, even with the scar-removal cremes, before the skin was fine again.

I guess I should be pleased that the cost was so LOW - but that is not what my budget suggested:

THE TALLY:
three things of the good bug killers - $30      followup scrubbings, sweepings and more not included

Then,  - to heal the bites and restore the skin: 

• Betadine(2) - $54  - I have since found a source that sells it for half that price.
• Calamine - $5  
• Peroxide spray (3) - $3
• Rubbing alcohol (3)  -$6
•  Neosporin(2) - $20  
• Generic cortisone cream - $10

Then, once the injuries were healed, $60 for assorted beauty bath gels and creams to regain a normal skin.            

Do the math:     TOTAL    $198  

•  oops!  forgot the cotton balls, gauzes, Swisspers and KT tape  - $20    Not to mention the loss to me of time to constantly apply and re-apply all the above, instead of doing what I do.  And the fatigue and upset.  YIPES!  My mother would say.
• I just trew away the studio couch throws and pillows - the feathers and stuffings and memory foam   would not be trustworthy - replacment value with supershopping still $100 and up. 

And still, I am thrilled!

Because:  I am fine.  Almost all the bites healed and spots fading.
Costs for  everything are paid.   The issue was no one's fault and I was treated most kindly by all who knew.
 
So, My emotions are normal enough to share this  fright story at Halloween.
 
And since bug attacks have been known to be fatal - I do appreciate it, that I fared well.  I am fine and dancing about again.  No shots or special medications, that is cheap for what happened.  

Yes - my lovely sunny place is nice again in here. All is well and clean and shiny as can be.  Including me.    The house owners were busy with the family crisis that necessitated the building project in the first place, but they have come back to me with thanks and make-goods for my cash expense.

So "Alls well that ends well!"  once more.  
 
I had a HAPPY HALLOWEEN and hope you did, too!  

elle
  Happy P.S. One year later:    I removed the photos of my bite - gross.  If you really want to see them  ask, but geee! ...... that was a year ago now and all is well!   And  my garden apartement is lovely and no bugs since - as it was for the two+ years before the incident, and there is little chance anything like it will happen again.   However, the flipside of a lovely country setting is lovely country critters and their pests.   Guard you, your pets and your space.....Today we know to minimize the use of pesticides and so we went hunting once the crisis passed and found a list of natural remedies that WORK : without the chemical dangers of bug sprays and foggers, they keep the garden IN the garden and not on you, and make the place smell like heaven.  AT the following link......

 http://www.trulia.com/blog/nontoxic-natural-pest-control-ideas-they-actually-work/

Part of the golden autumn view from my window and the porch - the martin house is in the foreground and beyond the trees a few yards, the lovely Porter Brook, where raccoon, possum, and albino skunk, coyote,  beautiful families of deer and  great blue heron come to water and stroll!     A great motivation for an animal lover to work out the bugs  - literally.

Pink Push-button Range!

Here is a photo of the latest at the time in a kitchen range!

Ours was a Frigidaire, but General Electric did this model, as well.

This one is the  one most like Mother's - the talk of the town in 1962, I think.

There is an ocean of vintage appliances data online and I will look more but this one is close!

This one surprized me to see for sale today online ..... this was new to the private home in the late 50s/early 60s....what fun we had!   It is not so easy as it seems....if you nice and strong, you can send a long potato thru - no issues- but if you are a bit woozy, choose smaller ones to send thru this mill that makes neat uniformly-straight french fries.  Fun with Mother smiling as all three of her children took their turn at it, doing their best.   

Summertime

High Summer - Summertime and the livin' is easy - the work from fall winter and spring is showing the best yields in every way- including the founding of my country, America!   Power, Energy, Leadership, Social breezing about in every way to celebrate every moment of the precious summer sun!  Yes. Summer!

Family pages

A collection of blog entries and other writings about family issues - mine and that of others.

Her Word is her Bond

My "BondJamesBond" and I looking agent-ish on a vacation. I used to think me his aide-de-camp on trips.  

AdventureGirl Romance notes  - a start:  how James Bond has grown and changed - and may continue the morphing.

Nancy Drew fanatics in girlhood in the 50s simply evolved into Bond girls in the sixties. A family friend and lifeguard at our nearest beach was bingeing on the books and I couldn't put them down.  How we gasped at the adventures, and cried for a month when ... well, you know about Traci.   The following today has grown, not decreased and scroll down for the best links for it.

I lost track of Bond completely when I married into a fine family with plenty of interesting work, and some of them agents for real.  I had no real connection, except thru my man who made medicine.  Both of us worked with children and arts and science and occasionally did our bit for America.   Our son, oddly enough, heard about Bond through a friend, when "Octopussy" released - when we were still reading Tolkien and Hobbiteses around the fireplace.   He never mentioned it, but made a  huge octopus for a class art project with the film name on it.  His insights still make me smile.

James Bond has had quite an influence on most of us, like it or not.  And is Bond the mancave come to life, really a girl thing?  Eunice Gayson, as Sylvia Trench, instigated the famous BondJamesBond epithet in the first story.  For many, Dame Judith Dench soon became a fine and logical "M" - the letter in the books was said to stand for "mother".  And one day soon, if Moneypenny can be agile and young and black, the next James Bond may be a woman named "James" for fun.

The famous gunbarrel opening - was it telling us that his brand of guy was targeted for serious improvement?  I wonder: today's Bond does not pat girls on the backside demeaningly, or smoke, but he is not as cultured and much more noire than our "gallante" of old.

 In the books, every other line reminds us that these brave life-and-death feats are being performed by an Oxford Man of finest tastes who would rather simply go to a suit fitting, or wine-tasting,  but sees his holy duty and does it.  Nobility in our heroneed refreshing, maybe?   It's not there, except in my fond memory, which I apply like a graphic filter over Daniel Craig to help me feel as elegant as I did back then, enjoying the derring-do. 

Today's James Bond is not an update on "The Scarlet Pimpernel" ...okay..but who is he?
Comment welcome!
More to come......

There is a lot of BOND online.  Free Video clips and the films and books in every format.  For great links for serious fans - the details, the drinks , the haberdashery and much much more, I I follow Bond James Bond on Facebook "The James Bond Dossier" and I get the newsletter from David Leigh, the "Dossier" author and faithful guardian.  He attends the openings and is quite respected and engaged.
 

The House in Connecticut

Okay - making it real involves engagement.  So happy to have found this one recently - perfect in every way for one lady who knows  her homecraft.  I grew up in privately owned homes and owned with my late husband and on my own after his early sudden passing.  Later, I opted for a bit to NOT own a home. Ten rents later, I am looking at a home again. "Both sides now" was a popular song but I guess that is how I feel. Experience and several arrangements with varying details taught me well.   Doing it so that I can enjoy these last independent years and rent a room then pay an aide to enjoy it as I age...Popular path today.

A quick list to start:  cost of operation a big factor  Green a big factor - sustainable

• fixeruppers are fine - moneysaving and room to make it the perfect place in renovations.
• yard for healthy pleasure with air, lawn and gardens
• garage not visible from the main front of home
• soundness in construction quality - foundations, framings, roof, siding, chimneys
• plumbing, electrical and heating/AC up to date and even innovative - solar power YES
• floors - same throughout the home with sound underlayments
• walls - open floor plan, with some walls removed to optimize size and flow and light
• ceilings - done nicely and high where possible - exposed beams and light fixtures
• lighting adjustable and solar-powered
• shelves, counters, built-ins : NO sharp corners, for safety - square with rounding off...or

Only Daughter

I cannot believe my daughter is going to be "29-and-holding" tomorrow!   Again.    I am in memory, at this moment, in my front seat in NDCHS second honors room,  Latin one class, as Sister is welcoming us newbies. She would call us “rara avIs” , Latin for"rare birds", so we countered with the loving "SisterTerryGerry".  Fair.  Part of the lesson that day was the classic :  Conjugate the verb:  “amo, amas , amat…”   I love , you love, he, she or it loves…..and down the line of times and genders of the word to “AMANDA” … "she must be loved, or ought to be loved" .

Like   Arwen’s vision of her love,  and their son, Eldarion, in "Lord of the Rings”, I had seen our son, while outdoors one winter,  painting the white sun, yellow sky in a lovely Connecticut snow  - gasp - "OUR son!  I see our son! “  Rightness and love that works!   And then back to the painting.     I had seen his father, that summer before,  also while out painting.  That first time, it was June and it was the Bachelor Buttons , putting on so snazzy a show - I laughed, to see my one, true, love in my  mind’s eye while painting BACHELOR Buttons !  It was  four years later before we met, and all details of image in my mind's eye correct,  but I was his, right then,  and never wavered.  

And now, right there in freshman high school Latin class -  once more,  everything in me lit up!   Soundlessly singing in jubilation:  “ We have  a DAUGHTER!   And she’s petite…and her name is Amanda! And she must be loved” !!!!   One two three…… what could be simpler?   Husband, son and daughter!  Life and good work too!  Done and done and back to a girl's life carefree!

I forgot such things as visions,  because, later on, it's about taking good care of these gifts and bringing them to best fruition - visions are not realistic, not respectable -  even for a thing in  the early teens.   But, many happy years later,  there was sudden widowhood and as I built my new life all good memories grew in value and I remembered.  I respected, and I knew I was right to respect it now.

ONE TWO THREE…they did not disappoint!!!   Not even once!  

They are all gone to me now, but life is like that sometimes, but for twenty years, we knew the True Thing - and every day was a celebration and the good things for all we touched, I hope.

I miss them all, but do not dare fail to celebrate that it ever was.  May it be a proof that that the good thing is there and worth it.   May it bring happiness and all the good things , as it has, to every day  since.

“They can’t take that away from me.”  

Happy Birthday Amanda - you earned one!  Find me soon!

Thank you!  Your part of the days were wonderful!     from your Mother Elle February 17, 2016

Amy's portrait by me and photoshop at Christmas a decade ago....she was champ at clarinet, flute and recorder, and picked up piano from me, automatically somehow.   She said it was because she loved music but though her tiny lady voice too screechy....not to me, but it's hers, so.

e.