Widowhood Anniversary today - thoughts
Difficult to believe it has been forty years since the sudden and early passing of my husband and handsome prince. I was younger and accelerated in studies and though I was. young when he died from a ruptured intracranial aneurysm one morning, we’d already been inseparable for seventeen years and our children in that sensitive stage of early puberty.
Statistically we were in for a difficult journey, and I remember the triumph of grief recovery - and that’s how it felt - the flipside of loss in a sudden death is a “great day in the morning”. sudden upsurge and elation when the grief is done - a balanced act from the shock and suddenness of of it. Money mess, children’s impact, a broken heart for company, and all of it followed by the Recession of the 80s and empty-nesting - I experienced such devastation that I brought our children back to our home state and made friends with other family, cousins, in-laws - etc., in case I did not make it.
Health and fitness projects and new work and time did the job and i did date at least - but it was 20 years before a normal date felt like a normal date. Then i was injured and disabled and so here I am finelly with some readiness for remarriage.
What a really fine relationship we enjoyed - and how wonderful he was! I know that my subsequent relationships have been nice because of the fine one we enjoyed!
May he rest in peace. There is so much I could write here. I send best wishes to our children - I am very proud and happy with them and just wish we lived near one another so I could get to know their grownup selves before i am too old for it to be any fun at all. They were a delight to raise and my head and heart were right for them and I treasure many happy memories of their childhood and keep many of their mementos for them. It matters that I can still send bast of love and god wishes!
A good love is a treasure and I wish that for everyone. It is time for me to remarry finally. Almost a surprise and a nice one! I know that older couples keep their independence better than singles as we age. And it just seems right, finally. Let’s see what I can do.
