2021. Happier New Year!

A well-done info-graphic about the tallest buildings 100-now is a fine first thought moment for the first day of the new year!
Forthright - full of passion and great goals and triumph the world’s efforts to reach the heavens from earth go on inspire us all

Click here to view it. https://media.rainpos.com/4417/tallest_buildings.mp4

I thought this might interest you...supercool. BUT THERE IS A GREATER TALLER MESSAGE THAT COMES WITH IT - PLEASE READ ON.

I was a child when the escape cars for all these buildings were designed , but the oddminds who design and build tall buildings failed completely to act responsibly and so we had Nineleven. The escape cars install between the outer and inner walls of tall buildings and launch outward with the occupants taking them safely to ground in a few minutes.

If that safe escape option existed, then the tall buildings would not have been a desirable target, and so......

My Dad was pioneer Air Corp and did for NASA later, artisan millwright his hands made the gold foil on the lunar lander in 1969. So our table included Sikorsky team engineers.

Planes for normal shuttling of people were supposed to have been built like a bunch of grapes... the stemwork would be the skeleton of the planes, like bulwarks on a ship, and the grapes represent passenger cabins that pop right off deliciously to land safely on land or sea, with GPS for rescuers and emergency provisions for the safety and comfort till help arrives.

When their ideas were strongly rejected, Mother swore me to NOT bring it up and upset Father. I did that. But On Nineleven, the memory returned like a tsunami and recuperating from a disc injury with braces under my clothes, I had to reach for the counter to not fall down, from the shock of the memory and the realization that no one needed to die that day!

So now we have Covid and I am so proud of the heroic response of all the people on earth and our leaders, but it will be found that we could have skipped it altogether, IF IF IF....

The Occupant Safety and Escape Technology project HAS been started up but squelched and suppressed and how many headlines have EVER appeared in media...and I love media and AM media but geeee.....MUST they work full time to skip the elephants in the room, if their advertisers say so? It ought to be a prosecutable offense to suppress action on issues that risk our lives, but so far, even .gov has suppressed it all with impunity.

What do you think? Philosophy abounds at New Years - may we pay attention and do better - a good citizen action is wonderful and no issue is too small. Online petitions make it easy, even. Do one this year. It's fun. I have and it's a great feeling later , to know you helped keep America's message alive.

I am posting this as my blog entry for the day and if you want to promote it - do.

Please accept my sincere best wishes for a very fine 2021!

elle

Elle Fagan Ar

thttps://www.ellefagan.com

Phone: 1-860-918-7773

Other contact options at the website contact link
Subject: Tallest buildings 1900-2022

https://media.rainpos.com/4417/tallest_buildings.mp4

Everything Perfect...

The White House shared the basic traditions again this Christmas this past week and we can proud of the way our President and First Lady have presented some of the Beauty of the Season ! And now to do my part of sharing . A Christmas Remembrance of our Mother's Holiday way!

She'd hug and smile and charm us, and with Dad, gather we three to action, whispering

The Angel Nebula per APOD NASA Painting by ElleFagan2015

"Everything perfect for Jesus" as we prayed,

"Everything perfect for Jesus" as we planned the weeks ahead

"Everything perfect for Jesus" as we cooked,

"Everything perfect for Jesus" as we studied,

"Everything perfect for Jesus" as we cleaned and

"Everything perfect for Jesus" as we cleaned even more,

"Everything perfect for Jesus" as we helped sign, seal and deliver the Holiday cards, never fewer than in the hundreds!

"Everything perfect for Jesus" , we shopped and

"Everything perfect for Jesus" , we decorated and "Everything perfect for Jesus" , we decorated more,
"Everything perfect for Jesus", we set up the Family Creche , and on Christmas Eve, made the procession in our home, carrying the lace-wrapped figure of the Infant Jesus from secret place to the Manger, beneath the star!
"Everything perfect for Jesus" as then it was on to the Glorious Midnight Mass and the parties before and after and visited and hosted and visited and hosted more, from Thanksgiving till Three Wise Men on January 6th!

With such an experience of it even an inescapable winter cold was painless!

When we grew up and won nice ways in the world from all her work with us, we could wish, an empower, even better.

In our updated world - at this one time of year ALLcould be ONE:

Everything perfect for Channukah,

and Kwanzaa,

and Ramadan

and Solstice that goes back to times when no one knew the word itself but knew perfectly what it meant, what needed to be done and that it must be celebrated and honored to make the LIFE message an enduring one.

Of course:

When they call it Golden Friday, not dystopian Black Friday, they will get me back - ditto changing the lazy evil Mondays off to well-earned Fridays off, then.....

AND YET.... thanks to our parents and the seasons of "Everything perfect for __________" for everyone in one form or other, this holiday is Golden inside and our and holy and humble and proud and full of love and all the good things!

I passed on the traditions with my own husband and children and now with my "upper midlife world" and am fine!

I like it very much that the Winter Holiday begins with Thanks - the year's progress and events and achievements and winnings all "put by" to keep us till spring.

Doing it this way, the weather may chill but , thanks to the Glory o of the Winter Holidays and the powers behind it, the people remain warm in every way,

We glow

We rejoice

We bond

We gift

We play

We Pray

We restore ourselves, our tools and our plans till the gift of another Glorious Spring !

We lost Mother two Decembers ago and yet NOT and never - not as long as we remember the one who CARED to engage in the gift of LIFE with full heart and fully shared, and not a empty remembrance but in continuing her life in us and in passing on to the next generation, her wonderful thoughts words and deeds!

elle Christmas 2019

International Day For Migrants and Refugees - this i KNOW

Today is the Vatican Mass for International Day of Migrants and Refugees ! It included the unveiling, in Saint Peter's Square at the Vatican in Rome. The instantly-famous sculpture is named "Entertaining Angels" from Hebrews in the Bible, reminding us to be good and kind to strangers, for we may be entertaining Angels. https://angelsunawares.org

https://migrants-refugees.va/resource-center/world-day-of-migrants-refugees-2019/

“Angels Unawares” Sculpture by Timothy Schmalz, Installation in Saint Peter’s Square Vatican

This I know:

200 years ago, most Americans were migrants and refugees - MOST- but these people came to HELP, not destroy and rule, and yet often that was the case, till our land was born and growing and thriving in a way that was NO LONGER called "The American EXPERIMENT"

100 years ago, migrants and refugees came and with a passion to Make America great and better than ever!

But today, it is NOT the same at all - when the "Angels" are not angelic in motive or behavior - when hordes literally invade.

This evil tide does damage and states their plan to destroy and rule, though they do NOT bring a better way that might justify that rule. Please support in thought word and deed, those who run to us in the right way, and extend hospitality and compassion and honest co-operation.
HOWEVER: Please do not confuse "Entertaining Angels" with Condoning Criminals...it's not the same at all.

The Pumpkin Moment

I am painting small pictures of pumpkins and other Autumn classics to add to a show in progress.....and remembered a thing...THANK YOU MOTHER AND FATHER, now passed - 

It was Halloween on Greenfield Hill Fairfield Connecticut. The Grange system were early bank and lender/credit clubs and casual local governing body but as American grew , the Grange held dignity and still remains alive as an Archive and Consulting Spot - many Grange HQs are Museums now.
AND THE GRANGE FAIR is still really special because of the Patriotic history! 

IN spring the Fair, ruled Fairfield and At Halloween there was the classic Halloween party with bobbing for apples and the wonderful spicy smells and games and COSTUMES! There would be a mini parade and a vote for best!....but NO politics...it was kind, for the sake of the little ones, to encourage contest participation as they grew up.

Still, our parents would , kindly-wise, of course, knock themselves out to do their part to make the costume show "not unfortunate". I was a Little Dutch Girl, to honor our first Settlers, and I can smell and see and feel that costume at this moment - Mother got good at seamstressing and found the blue weave to look homespun, and organdy for cap and apron and sleeve cuffs and it was perfect with my bangs and all.

But the shoes! Wooden shoes in my tiny size could not be found and were too clumsy for a child who was unused to them.....hmmmmmmm. Design was going to get into a pair of Wooden Shoes of Safe and Light materials at our home ! 

My Dad was innovative DuPont and pioneer Army Air Corps - Smitty the Flight Mechanic; our nearest neighbor was an Aero Engineer on the Sikorsky team and they would spend a Saturday over a beverage and the latest in engineering and tech and design ideas. They got busy....

I think Mother was too kind to say so, when it was time to try them on. To put the shoes in best light, she put me in the costume first, to help Dad with the Overall perception - the Gestaldt - 

He put the shoesies on me and stepped back:
- and collapsed in dismay! They LOOKED just like Fairfield's aero genius, Gustav Whitehead's Plane, the passenger box coming to a point, with my feet inside, in cardboard that even a good paint job would not fix.

His grief over such great effort , for love and for my benefit, struck me so, that I reached out like Shirley Temple- "NOoooooo Daddy, you don't have to do that! " it's just fine to wear my normal dressy shoes! It will still look right. And it was just fine and did well at the happy fete!

So odd , the little moments that bring insights! 

I remember it as my first experience of a child running to the aid of an adult - I truly did not know I could do that! They called us “Pumkin” , little girls and loved our smallness - we were perfect they said, and it was not so bad being a small child and dependent for a moment.

In "Going to far" for a thing, we ALL learned that time. With love, thank goodness! Family.

September 11th 2001 - the Dies Irae has become 18

September 11th Eighteen years later l must do better than these tears again ! Only the Innocents get to Rest in Peace

I did this soon after the day and in a shadowbox it was purchased and gifted to a school to help the children in this wonderful example of human goodness and loving, passionate patriotism.

• As daughter of Aero people, I KNOW that Nineleven did NOT need to happen - God Bless America but we have a lot of nerve asking God to forgive our Human Frailty - when it was more like Human Neglect and Irresponsibility, not frailty at all. We are NOT worthy of compassion in the matter.
  
  IF you LINE UP EVERY ITEM OF ERROR and NEGLECT and ABANDONMENT and BAD word for us that might apply on the subject, it would still not be as long as the list of victims of Nineleven.
  
  And our EVIL GOES ON: When was the last time you saw ONE headline fixing some of the issues that brought Nineleven to breakfast one morning? When was the last time you and your neighbors took 30 minutest to do up an online petition asking our leaders to FIX THE ISSUES?
  
  Christ said it's never too late - getting on board at 11 o'clock is as worthy as the early arrivals, asl long as the good goal is attained.
  
  WHATTABOUT NOW? NEVER TOO LATE!

  Edit or delete this

• As this woeful list of those who died on Nineleven is read, I here begin a list of my own - just a casual one of our mistakes in the matter. If you have skills to pick up one of these and win improvements - guess what? It's okay to do that. THIS IS AMERICA - OF, FOR , BY THE PEOPLE MEANS JUST THAT. Especially fit seniors - what more worthy way to spend the days, helping with research anonymously, helping the grieved, doing up petitions to get even ONE of the faults addressed and WON OVER.
  
  The new Freedom Tower is wonderful and may it be a light to those who bother to act in the right way to win the right thing and restore our worthiness!
  
  But the Tower was NOT NOT NOT meant to the end of it , but the beginning.....we can SO EASILY DO REST that must be done before we can call it done.
  
  The list will follow here today and if you are not comfortable with it, I apologize and invite you to keep scrolling past me today.
  
  Decent human beings ACT for the GOOD

• Error and Remedy ONE: Sloppy intelligence and Sloppy Security - has been improved greatly - GOD BLESS AMERICA! GOD BLESS THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY. We are a resource - ask us to help - we can help.
  
  Plenty to be done. Top of the list: most of our major cities still do not have effective air defense and response fast enough to stop attackers before they bomb or suicide crash. SPACE FORCE WILL help with things above them but we still need our planes and defense satellites to collect data and ACT in our defense.

• Error and Remedy TWO:
  
  Occupant Safety and Escape Technology was 30 years behind and still remains wildly neglected. My tears still fall today because I KNOW that The September 11th attacks did not need to happen because, IF Occupant Safety and Technology had been created as promised, the MURDEROUS MOTIVE for attacking planes and tall buildings would have been NON-EXISTENT
  
  My people were aero and tech - I saw the designs when I was with a bow i my hair and all eyes of interest in what Dad and his friends were so excited about that was over 60 years ago.
  
  Ride their cases and do not stop over this one - United Technology said I was very right when I shared details, MIT when I asked for their ideas for the escape tech, scoffed at me - and maybe at themselves - quoting here: "Lady, we're too busy designing video games."
  
  The designs for Escape cars for tall buildings work for new construction but are easily installed in existing buildings. IT's even even EASY. Give the project to your third-grader...maybe a school-wide project to let the children - thousands of them - submit their ideas? It's been eighteen years - not too traumatic for them and they are NOT afraid.
  
  The designs for up to date care for passengers in planes costs more: visualize the plane fusilage as the stemwork of a bunch of grapes - the passenger cabins are the grapes, and all of it nicely attached for smooth safe flying. They detach to land safely on land or sea, fully equipped with GPS to bring help, and gear to keep the passengers safe and sound till help arrives. As I said - costs more but worth it and woefully overdue.

• Error and Remedy THREE: Lack of Effective Preparedness at the Pentagon: since Washington DC, as our nation's capitol, is always vulnerable, the Preparedness is little bit better, but how on earth did a plane get anywhere near the Pentagon in the first place? Really! Just plain old-fashioned embarrassing! Who among us has even googled how any of this is all that much better? Do we get decent headlines to reassure us that fixes for our faults in this have been created and are in place? I beg for reliable data.

• Error and Remedy FOUR: Lack of Effective Preparedness/Synchronicity a major citiy key site. The Towers themselves needed much more - there, on site. Ask the Freedom Tower how much better prepared tall buildings are today. Still pathetic, because the remedies are even easy, often subsidized - all they need to do is do it. Technology and ordinary preparedness can get all occupants out and on the ground in minutes..but it's not done.

• Error and Remedy FIVE: this is much too true of all responders , everywhere on earth but has gotten better since September 11, 2001, but the overall stats for response had gone down at that time.
  
  First responders were UNDER-trained and UNDER-geared and OVERweight and UDERfit , physically and mentally - and on the day when being in sync among the types of response , they were a Tower of Babel for Communications and Interaction.
  
  And so the universal crisis response algorithm of 'Report, Assessment, Plan, Assign, Respond ' took too long to achieve.
  
  First responders died, feeling they failed, though they could not have done any better than their amazing heroics that day - they can be proud.
  
  However: The Powers that sent them out so poorly equipped will NEVER be at peace until they have won up to date remedies for all these issues.
  
  BUT WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A HEADLINE ABOUT LAWS AND RULES AND ACTIONS AND TRAINING being done to make our Response folk the best ever, nation-wide?
  
  Ask your leaders to get some "INK" out there on this topic. I know that some things have been fixed.
  
  It is up to me , up to us, the citizens of the United States of America to let them know our will - it is up to our leaders to help actualize the good will of the people. WE ARE TEAM.

• Error and Remedy FINAL: GOD BLESS AMERICA - I am a patriot and I love my country, but we all saw that day, how impossible it can get...in living color on our tvs. And we saw our heroics and our failings, in living color, and all too personally.
  
  The attacks happened
  Responders responded
  The injured and wounded cared for and the dead honored
  The leaders of the world decided on war and war was begun
  The Department of Homeland Security was created and actualized
  
  But no matter how many of the bereaved from that Dies Irae approached government we could not get any support for finally getting up to speed re; OCCUPANT SAFETY AND ESCAPE TECH FOR PLANES AND TALL BUILDINGS.
  
  AND TODAY THEY CAN DO IT AGAIN....some snappy planning, development and followup and we can go through this even now...
  with the occupant safety and escape tech updated, the motive for targeting planes and tall buildings would be gone....and so......
  
  Please see if you can find any action on this topic.

• PostScript
  If for no other reason, see what one Nineleven cost ( from CNN https://www.cnn.com/.../september-11.../index.html )
  
  ———————————

• Economic Impact:
  $500,000 - Estimated amount of money it cost to plan and execute the 9/11 attacks.
  
  $123 billion - Estimated economic loss during the first 2-4 weeks after the World Trade Center towers collapsed in New York City, as well as decline in airline travel over the next few years.
  $60 billion - Estimated cost of the WTC site damage, including damage to surrounding buildings, infrastructure and subway facilities.
  $40 billion - Value of the emergency anti-terrorism package approved by the US Congress on September 14, 2001.
  $15 billion - Aid package passed by Congress to bail out the airlines.
  $9.3 billion - Insurance claims arising from the 9/11 attacks.
  
  Cleanup at Ground Zero:
  May 30, 2002 - Cleanup at Ground Zero officially ends.
  It took 3.1 million hours of labor to clean up 1.8 million tons of debris.
  The total cost of cleanup was $750 million.
  ———————————
  I think God has the right to see RESULTS from us, when we pray GOD BLESS AMERICA - and he bestows his blessing, we know in faith. We are letting him down, of course - he's God and we are each just a bit of matter and spirit......but so spectacularly?
  
  WE can do better. Let us help, we tell our leaders and today's immediate powers of free communication OUGHT to EMPOWER better and it DOES , but somehow, we are doomed to fail unless we make a project of some things.
  
  And that's where the Love and Hope come in....and allow us to say "God Bless America" in good Faith one more time.
  
  THE THING IS: it's not beyond us....one of the things I learned from my redcross work is that every crisis is "stuff"....be not afraid...be not intimidated by the scope. Pick one thing and do it. Join a team and do your part and it's done. Anonymously often enough if fear of reprisal is your issue. Did you know that the Constitution of the United States of America says we should experience Freedom of Fear of Reprisal? Not just reprisal, but the fear of reprisal should not be our issue. So even if...you have a very strong case.
  
  But as the readings of the list of the Dead on September 11, 2001 come to a close, I remember ...that day and how it took from that day until Thanksgiving to pray one bead on my rosary for each of the dead. and nearly four hours to even read their names respectfully.
  
  And still I smile and remember I have art delivery due tomorrow or suffer reprisals of my own making. The bereaved of that day did the same: they took a second or two to share their message of LOVE and LIFE, mentioning the retrieval of happy new life and the eternal honor and love for those who died that day and since, because of that day.
  
  LIFE MUST WIN - God Bless America and all who were directly impacted by the Attacks on September 11th 2001.

Letters

Papers, letters and cards - fewer each year in my files,  since we began communicating online - fun, but we've lost balance.

So I decided to refresh letter-writing and found  proper Crane stationery;  an American icon founded six years before the Declaration of Independence and first choice for our best letters always.

So far, the box  sits on a nearby shelf to glance at , from to time,  deciding what I will write and when,  and most importantly,  to whom.  Savoring is important !

The purchase of the papers brought back memories: format, penmanship, spelling and grammar, and much more:

Mother's desk was full of wonderful papers and boxes with the letters she shared with my father - lost now but grand at the time, since they include their love poems.  She was always ready to share. 

Grandmother Smith's pride was her proper "Lady's Writing DesK" - a holy thing since literacy was even a larger issue for women than it is now.   The drop-front would open to reveal a world to thrill a little girl - like a doll's house, the little "rooms" full of letters and family papers and the tiny drawer of stamps - and the exciting Air mail tissue stationery to let it travel as light as the air itself.  

And her Jim "the Chief" presided over the Unofficial summit of the many Irish Uncles, discussing all matters of import, since the last gathering. Being welcome to join with the rest of the women, in the joyful palaver, of praise and reportage - and warnings about no-goods, "wouldn't spend a stamp on him"  - big eyes, small mouth, taking it all in.

On my visits i would run to set mail for pickup and collect the incoming at a run for Gram.   Oh! how she'd smile to see the letters of several pages - enough for a good read and the fine glow from it would last all day and then some.

 I remembered these lessons about letters today, so many years later and wondered. This letter-writing project is getting fun already, maybe thanks to the post office in Southport and Carlson's card shop next door:  we'd shop for cards and stationery, sign and stamp and mail it immediately.  If we were lucky to arrive just then, we'd help with the tall pendulum clock and then scoot out on our way.  My childhood neighborhood was surely designed by Norman Rockwell !  Thank you Angels!

And the box of love letters between my late husband and myself is treasured.  IN WRITING - the promises fulfilled ,from years of dreams and plans and prayers and lessons and wishes and fears and fidgets and longing.      Most of them written in college and Military days to sweethearts , newlywed and then new parents of such a baby boy!  And his sister soon after a promise to never be apart again.   Promises kept till death are as good as promises get.

This is a thing to think about - Letters.  Let's see how this goes.....

Friends - Lantana

BBB’s Lantana photo - she is getting pro with the cameras and is into robotics….birds and flowers!

A Facebook friend from Alabama has been a fun friend to me here in Connecticut and shares the bounty of her birds , flowers and property wildlife - today she charmed me again! Lantana - verbena, some call it.

I become elated when I see Lantana - They put on a really special sprightly show - growing tons of the robust florets in many colors on one stem…I’d delight each time they came into view. Like candy on stems, and the name ‘Verbena” rhymed with my Mother’s Albina, and so, special to me.

One would find it just everywhere, in several varieties, but then it seemed to “go somewhere” in the rush of making grownup life. But then Maude Taylor moved in next door at our lovely new home - part of a new thing called condos - really well done ones and every convenience included. Half of us were young families with little ones, our men home from Viet Nam and all of us thrilled to be able to make our lives in pride and peace.

I had done Red Cross work, and Maude was a retired red cross admin, who moved next door to us in NC in 1970-72. Though my temp response work was nothing compared to her lifelong commitment, it was with Medivac at Fort Knox and my first close sight of war, and her appreciation of my life-altering experience of it was vital to my health at that point.

I called her my "In loco parentis" - a redcross term for one who does the job of local parent...I had my college and works in arts for years and first real red cross war work, but I was young and with an infant on each hip, and Mother deaf in CT and no TTD or caption phone for us, I was missing her.

My redcrosslady next door became a really special friend. We traded books, quilt patterns, food things and when I admired her beautiful lantana , she insisted I have some of it for my own place...YES!

The plant burst into life at my place, too, with a really impressive show nearly overnight! and I smile today, still , at how well it thrived! LIFE.

Thank you BBB for the wonderful memory!

Independence Day Blog note 2019

INDEPENDENCE DAY BLOG ENTRY :

Praise for our president - the recent meetings were full of danger for him and his staff and he handled it all so well !

We are very fortunate to have him helping at the White House right now - because, in the long view in the Third Millennium, that's what it is. HELPING !

I will always think well of him because he didn't need it - such a job!

When our leaders find ways on the right side of the law to express their opinions in sessions, they will actually see the lights they need to actually fix a few of our major issues - I sink and sicken at the abuse our leaders dish out and and endure from one another - they do not even bother to include the word, "respectfully" half the time anymore!

IF I ruled, I'd have them all doing powernaps and meditations and prayer for a minute before EVERY single moment of congress, until they act like the amazing people they aim to be! In the Third Millennium, all the ignorant backward rock-throwing is absurd and makes us look awful , worldwide.

There is ia HUGE difference between "Let Freedom Ring ! " and calling "RUMBLE" like the sharks and jets in a gang movie of olden days. The gangs were horribly poor, illiterate (unless you count obscene scrawls on walls) and likely to behave badly. Our leaders spent years studying to bring LIGHT, INTELLECT and POWERS OF THE BEST KIND to the world's issues....but, for awhile now, you’d never know it.

PLEASE let's do better -

AMERICA is a MIRACLE we all agreed in our childhood, but sometimes my Dad would say, "Yes but "Screwing up a miracle is what we DO - we do it every time and we are doing it again !"

THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT TODAY WE HAVE A CHOICE AND IF WE CHOOSE DEATH OVER LIFE, HATE OVER LOVE , POVERTY INSTEAD OF PROSPERITY it is "OUR BAD" .....WE know we can do better ...EASEL-y , says this artist....."Let it begin with me!" ellefagan.com

Ghosts of the Past at Independence Day - YES!

Ghosts of my past? YES....

The color at southwest in the image, above at for Today's post from a major news site, is THE 2019 Pantone Color of the year : Coral Light - light, and phasing into its vivid version at northeast!

I know this because:
it is the color I used in my apartment this past two weeks - painting my entire place myself for the fitness I needed - done and done! Huzzah!

Of couse, I cannot move my body without some discomfort, from hours with a paint-laden roller and crawling about in odd contortions to get into the corners completely. But OHHHHHHH! So worth it! I love fumes, but fumes can slow you down and linger after, indoors: YAY for modern fume-free paints -no more fumes!

The whole place looks like a new home - a mellow glow with light shades to help the dark corners and one of the darker shades to tone down glare where needed - the medium shade above was plenty dark enough to live with. A pro artist, I learned that it is one of the Really healthy and encouraging colors - a nice psychology for an "upper midlife" person and her circle - yes !

Critical of pro artists? OK..this one capitualtion: If I was not an exhibiting visual artist, it would have been done just as nicely in three days, not three weeks - including the new neutral ceiling and floor tiles in one room.

Three days - and done! And me, with a great date for Independence Day Events instead of a week’s rest!
Ouch ! ... Has anyone seen my kinesiology tape and knee cast ? PEAS makes an ice pack specially shaped for knees with an elastic band to attach it round, so you can continue your day in cooler comfort! Comic picture , saying "Huzzah" and OUCH at the same time.

The NYT article is about our memories - oh yes... I will remember it like that - a worthy project with only comic discomfort - in the PAST - and lasting beauty for some time to come. And a quiet 4th!

A richer memory:
I do attend Independence Day events, love Fireworks!…. but NOT romantic dates on the fourth of July, anyway - my late husband proposed on that day, and on that day, our fireworks were better - and happy surprise for our families! A special cheer, EVER AFTER, even now it glows!

The feelings of loss at his passing are healed and free long ago; there is nothing left but "the good stuff" to share with mutual friends and family.

At first, after his sudden death, too young, all the wonderful years with the million wonderful moments, were like running a gauntlet to recall. Way too much for even the strongest !

But I mention it, anyway to share the TRIUMPH: if you follow the idea of grief RECOVERY, at the sunny end of it, every bit of it is pure gold..with glow-y bits of healthy Pantone coral light. Even the evil moment is a proud memory for having won through it.

Almost forgot: Coral light - so far, there is a bonus effect at sunrise AND sunset! Fun food for thought.

Father of The Year - Bob Parr of "The Incredibles 2"

I knowwww…… this is not going to make Apple News. It’s okay. I’m right and I’m right and I know it!

Few Dads face the challenges or reap the rewards of Robert “Bob” Parr, with an entire family of Superheroes to his credit! Wife Helen is “Elastigirl” and outdoes us all in the classic women’s mandate to “Always be flexible” , and followed by daughter Violet, who does protective force fields, Son Robert Dashiel “Dash” Parr, who owns superspeed and super scenario management skills, and the latest , the multi-powered “Jack-Jack”!

The Parrs on Fathers Day - Helen/Elastigirl with Baby Jack-Jack, Dad Robert”Bob” / Mr.Incredible, Robert Dashiel/Dash, and eldest, sister Violet who does protective force fields. Don’t you feel your family is a bit super, too?

A special Dad moment - bizzy day done - peacefully-sleeping super son..for just now…so perfect.

Every step of the way, so far, he is exemplary, and yet fun and human and passionately devoted to good and to the good of his family. A hundred times he is challenged “above and beyond” and he comes through admirably every time!

He works and loves like a modern Dad and with top guy grace, he runs the world - or a kiosk at the Insurance Company, or an outing to a restaurant or a morning’s breakfast while Mom is doing super rescues.

In “Incredibles 2” his sense of judgement and devotion are tested over and over - even delighting wildly in baby Jack-Jack’s growth showing powers unfathomable, while scrambling wildly to help the baby master them. Yay, Auntie Edna Mode! Her tech support and instant love for Jack-Jack win the day!

In the complexities of Helen / Elastigirl’s part in things, she depends on unconditional love and loyalty of her family circle and , thanks to Dad “Bob” / Mister Incredible, she GETS it and so the team family wins. He refers to this need to do “Team Family” well , in so many words, to his best friend and often ally, Frozone….. “…so we all can win!”

Of course, Jack-Jawk steals the show and our hearts, but no so much as to undo our appreciation for Robert Bob Parr/ Mister Incredible - “Father of the Year”!

Sweethearts - a memory and memorial

The Easter message of Victory over Death is the right note for the passing of these loved ones. Joyful!

I received news recently of  two forever young sweethearts, in-laws, and dear ones,  going to heaven only a few months apart.  

The first time we met, my late husband was showing me off and getting approval  of our marriage from his family and friends.   His five siblings were next for first visits. and though I only had two siblings, my parents were both blessed with 20 altogether , plus spouses and children.   My childhood was alive with many cousins.  We were supers!  Ever-present was the love - a spiritually rich  matrix.

My fiancee said,  three of his siblings are single, but two older sisters married with six and five children, respectively, the latest, twins!  At first visit, across the state,  I thought the eldest sister was a madonna,  something from Mary Cassatt, as she  fed the latest infant!  Ah!  She and her husband are gone for some years, but alive through their work and children.    A few weeks later, we continued with the drive to Rhode Island to the second sister's - it is she  and her husband who have recently passed away, so the memory is crisp and clear. The twins wanted feeding a bit early and everyone was in the kitchen. 

The two eldest, boys, were enjoying a snack, the one lovely daughter was feeling flustered and her Dad, like Mister Incredible, was being her hero, fixing the issue - I will never forget his kind and gentle way with her - he was football and things like diaper duty were  woman's work in the 60s,  but he was ready and there.   Then the main event:  my sister-in-law-to-be  had twin boy babies in infant-seats on the table and at super-speed was delivering baby-spoons of lunch to both !  And yet so calmly and quietly and even with some grace.  

My jaw dropped!  I believed in feeding on demand, but with five babies under the age of six, what happens on the day when they all demand at once?  Tita kept apologizing for the hectic welcome - but I smiled and TOLD her I  LOVED it and I think she saw I meant it.  New Friends.

Many visits followed to our homes in Connecticut , New Jersey and Rhode Island and North Carolina - fine times !    Culture and sports,  good talk and fine food - and our own son and daughter later added to the mix.
Lives were so full of the graces in careers and prosperity and health and joyful living !   Phone chats, holiday cards and gifts at any excuse. Yes !

Then one morning it ended to to my sudden and way-too-soon widowhood, the recession and empty nesting descending - all at once- the curse of Job.  It  was too much of course , but it was not allowed to be too much for me.    I was glad I'd done emergency response and tons of child-related work- it was needed at home from me right now. 

We recovered and  re-designed things and we all did just fine . But since they have all passed away my  hopes for easy reunions are gone. I hope to see them with God one day. What times we'll know again !  

Here on earth, for two decades we knew unbroken bliss !  Not even death can undo us!  New adventures, challenges, and loves!  

elle

Insight ? Jack-Jack's Validity !

Story:

JackJack and Auntie Edna Mode

Observing the Easter Religious events, I sometimes wonder - the best of the human spirit and integrity and miracle making must be constantly refreshed or it is gone and evil times always follow. How are we doing this today? It is not just religion but every scenario of our lives that teach us and light up our souls for a grand journey…like this:

"Jack-jack's" validity....from the funny family movie "Incredibles2". His Teenaged Sister Violet is very upset - her feelings have been hurt. She is distraught and very noisy, but finally, is spent, and she leaves the room. 

Her father and brother and baby Jack-Jack look at one another in the sudden quiet of her absence and react: 

Father sighs....
brother asks: "Is she having Adolescence?"  
but Jack-Jack, infant at his breakfast Cheerios, does the Sympatico.....lifts the bowl of munchies and smashes them over his face in grief! ....then giggles! 

Valid compassion?  

Exactly so - we miss it! We must be on time for school and work and so we buzz by the moment.

Sympatico! That he does the compassionate action reaction is valid and even logical for a pre-verbal child. ...... but the giggling , which might be not okay for an adult, states the brilliance of the baby mind....."it's all good , his giggling says - we WIN, anyway! - sad or happy...that we do Life together is the thing that remains the happy miracle, even on the bad day!

Jack-Jack's validity. Happy Easter!

Archangels and company

A Facebook friend posted a graphic of two angels, captioned with the inspiring “Find your Muse”

to which I had to reply: Lori Barker, look what you started:  :-D It’s because I love Angels. 

Someone told me there ARE no women angels - and that only the demonic angels came to earth to mate with human women, resulting in the Giants who roamed the earth, before The Lord got into serious Spring Cleaning with Noah and the Flood.

The problem is : I was widowed a million years ago, and am long ago fit and fine, so I was hoping to remarry an angel, but if the Angels who married human women were NOT the good angels but fallen angels or demons - oh!

Now what? Lost. Since it would take an angel in every way to follow my late husband.  
Maybe even an Archangel:
Like Michael, God’s warrior, he won his medals in good battles; 
Like Gabriel, God’s messenger, he excelled at Communication;  
like Raphael , God’s healer, his work was healing: during his VietNam duty, and, afterward.

The other four Archangels are not really followed in major Christian faiths but he did not do too badly with them either:  

URIEL - God is my light is for ARTS , Confirmation and POETRY
JOPHIEL - is also an arts patron, but also "God's spy" and "God'sBeauty"
Arts business was there - mine/ours on the table always, that I do today.

ZADKIEL - said to be the one who stayed Abraham's hand from sacrifcing Issac - Angel of mercy and powerful rescue. He rescued ME, and others in his too-short life.

Camael was banned by my church for reverence and is full of MYSTERY - and you know I love a Mystery! He contradicts: Expelled and Welcomed. …Maybe the doorman? They say he was among those who fought and expelled Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden, but he is always depicted holding a cup and often a staff, in Welcome and support. I will want to check at my Church on this one. Maybe he's about the MONEY - there's always a moneyman somewhere in every good group. Even Jesus had an on-board accountant.

I am having Spring fun and cheering me up from a funeral, forgive me…..but it’s working, so it’s probably right.

I do welcome comment here - refer me and we can make “A joyful noise unto the Lord” on the subject of Angels , at This Easter Hallelujah!

Miracles - have some!

Spring! Daffodils and more!
Everyone is quoting Wordsworth’s daffodil poem - a Poet Laureate of England in his day.

AMERICAN Poets of similar credit are my study focus just now, though - it is not really fair, you know - America has only existed for a few centuries and the other lands for a few millennia! They got a head start, if it’s a race. So first we respect and do homage to our elders, but then we must point out our own MOST worthy poets. I found lots on who is best, but these two work for quick reference:

This page quickly and clearly lists the top 100 with links to more:
https://www.ranker.com/list/best-american-poets/ranker-books

This one is at Wikipedia and more comprehensive list in Alphabetical order:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_poets_from_the_United_States

But then I think about poetry: my own first poetic efforts, and my mother’s love poems to our father and my brother’s contemporary poems in his own book “In a Mirrored Room” - I asked the library to stock it and they said “Of course”. Nice.

Then poetry goes on from there - to Saint Patrick and Irish folk with their famous “Gift o’ the Gab” and such a way with words! Irish Gramps love songs to Gram , after 50 years wed.

And the might Celtic Chief Fionn, pronouncing “ The Music of what happens - is the finest music of all!” Poetry is life - if you are feeling “off” - see the Poetry all around you.

Man’s desire for art and order in the midst of chaos lets us navigate it triumphantly.

Andddd.. that is how I got it to this bit of poetry -

the finest poetry I will ever read -

the finest word for a title:

ASYMPTOMATIC

Do you remember when , in “Lord of the Rings” , Frodo complains about the skulking Gollum being allowed to slither here and there threateningly among them? Gandalf sits Frodo down and gives a lesson - wise Wizard - there may be need for things we do not understand at a moment - wait - we may need him yet.

To most who love literature, the pulp rags at the checkouts are the Gollum of Communications….but not to me any longer:

"The Star" saved my son. An uncle liked the junk news at the corner store checkout and brought one home and left it open on the kitchen table. Visiting, I was helping tidy up , as he left the room. Alone, I lady-sneered at the humble newspaper, and paged thru it to close it up- when I stopped COLD at the headline: "Breakthrough to win over Aneurysm" blasted across the page top.


Having lost my late husband to ruptured Berry Aneurysm, I had not realized how frightened I had been for our children, I learned, at least that it was often an inherited tendency. Of course, I’d researched and talked with specialists till they got annoyed with me for pressing, but they told me there was nothing to be done - no test and no treatment for it. I breathed and bore my concern and then got busy making the best days I could for us, and watched. I just used to my own anxiety, I guess. Almost ten years had passed - then this article! WOW!

For me, at that moment, the world was a different place, with the sun coming thru the window in a special way. After reading it twice, I followed the contact leads, and I called in and they said YES the junk article was correct. The university center and doctor heading the work were located only a few miles from my son's college...Dr. Gary Steinberg said ..."Send him in - let's do it - and your daughter, too!"

I framed the letter that arrived after the testing was done - your children are "Asymptomatic" for aneurysm. I felt, inst antly, as though I'd been hitting me on the head with a hammer and suddenly stopped!

LIKE BFG in the movies, getting happily carried away over a grand moment, I could fill a page with similes to describe the joy of the moment and the tangible relief. That was twenty years ago, almost and not a headache among us - none worth mentioning. Left-handed blessing, that our focus in that department made the rest of us conscious of it enough to get into prevention? I knew my late husband loved us and I knew he made medicine but miracles? Possibly.

This Woman in the Arts

• I was SIX when they called me "Artiska".

• I was TEN when my first poem was read in public - not just in school.

• I helped in community and small biz with my parents.

• I was SIXTEEN at the local Brainstein college helping in arts a "prototype girl" on campus.

• I was en route to earned top career path, when family crisis crashed it temporarily

• Local college studies under top mentors - met Jim Albers, NASA’s Phil Stern and a hero

• Love marriage redcross and military art installations per USACE with husband partner

• Motherhood and Wellcome Corporate move NY, NC, and back to campus ECU and PCC

• Pioneer in a Southern Boomtown in fitness, education civil rights.FUN...the fifth freedom!

  Watershed moment I guess: One day it was all gone, the babies off to college, the husband heartbreakingly suddenly and way too soon dead at my feet one morning, and then the recession nearly wiped out all the money just as instantly
  
  

• Faith and experience not enough: the entire path for my work as lost in estate resolutions

• Restart did not happen till I moved with our gifted teen chlldren, Back to Connecticut roots.

• Financially blocked , injured, slandered, and overcharged and underserved, WON anyway

• Children fine, college and career honors, time to go jogging to save me.

• Reprised old wartime red cross work, rescuing recession-injured to the risk of my own life

• Work and study in art-related - children and I were jubilant at the emotional victory

• Injured again. With the good supports I'd earned, I was helped and recovered

• Resumed prize-winning work - one at the White House this time- it’s a story

• One for the Church I love - a Blessing - then moved on to a normal living

• Now? get the art selling again and recover decent money. 

• …oh, yes…they asked for the book

And here I am today - Who will help? SALES Please of this honored work while the prices are still affordably set.  I will soon have a new dealer and the prices will rise.

All along I have kept nice memberships and I will soon have a new dealer and the prices will rise to reflect his hard-earned commissions and ad costs.  A long night’s journey into day, but - COME to the WEDDING - I can probably promise it, if you buy the art of Ellen May Bernadine Smith Fagan - Ellesmith   at her online home of seventeen years, ellefagan.com

NOW

My feelings - my family is THIS grand! THIS IS A GRAPHIC OF THE FAMOUS UFIZZI GALLERY PAINTING FOR QUEEN CHARLOTTE OF ENGLAND BY FAMOUS PAINTER JOHANN ZOFFANY - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribuna_of_the_Uffizi
This page lets you open it large and cursor for rollover explanations of the rich individual elements in the composition.

Growing up in Norman Rockwell Great American family - Mother one of eleven and Father one of nine, it could be merry mayhem at times, but even tragedies were handled with care and love and uninterrupted moral support.

What good work and fun and beauty and social and romance and adventures with siblings and cousins, as well as friends in those days! Gramps had running pine and we’d go allllll day , gathering and feasting and braiding them into the classic garlands that literally “Decked the Halls” One uncle kept creatures and so on Easter morning, live easter bunnies hid among the eggs for the Easter Egg Hunt and their own hutch to keep them till they they were ready for the garden.

Then it was the 60s. Many of the older ones were grown and out to their own grownup lives, and many of us not even living near one another, any longer. For awhile we could gather at holidays and at least show the caring in Christmas cards and phone calls and visits, when it worked. But then our elders aged, our children were empty-nesting and death and relationship changes created more distance than is good.

So now the forty aunts and uncles have all passed away and that leaves we forty children , plus our own respective families, children, grandchildren and great grands born, or soon to be.

This is a Golden Window for reconnecting with our roots and refreshing old friendships while making new ones for our later life. My project this year is to sell this idea to my cousins - if I win over one or two and they win over one or two……. What a nice thing to do and to have!


Wish me luck!

Gaelic Poem - The Finest Music

THE FINEST MUSIC

Fionn Mac Cumhail was a legendary Irish hero, urbane, cultured and cunning, 
who combined elements of warrior, seer and poet. 
In one story, Fionn sparked a debate when he asked his followers
what they thought was the finest music in the world. 
"Tell us what you think," said Fionn, turning to Oisin. 
"The cuckoo calling from the highest tree in the hedge," cried his jolly son. 
"That is a good sound," said Fionn. "And Oscar," he asked, 
"what do you think is the finest music?" 
"The best music to my ears
is the ring of a spear on a shield," cried the sturdy lad. 
"That is a good sound," said Fionn. 

And the other champions told what
best pleased them: 
the bugling of a stag across water, 
the baying of a melodious pack heard from afar, 
the song of a lark, 
the laughter of a gleeful girl, 
or the whisper of a moved one. 

"Those are all good sounds," said Fionn. 

"Tell us, chief," one ventured, "what do you think?" 
"The music of what happens," said great Fionn, 
"that is the finest music in the world." 

- James Stephens, Irish Fairy Stories 

The Music of What Happens

Feeling thoughtful and getting behind on the daily posts this month. I apologize. Listening to the music of what happens usually results in a response or comment like this one:

The last of my Mother’s generation was honored with memorial services last Friday. I feel sad and ill - “Gone with the Wind” a great power has changed. Life from them, and with them all these years was often worth a major motion picture, and even in death, the best of it remains.

Eleven children, some grown and caring for the younger ones, double orphaned at the bottom of the Great Depression, Mother’s foster parents accepted the baby brother, four years old at the time and their lifelong loving bond was formed. It was his passing we observed three days ago, one year after Mother’s at 92.

But even death is not so powerful as the human spirit.

I have found that, having bothered to do good work and/or love with those who have passed, when the tears are passed the spirit resurrects and memories empower. I could probably walk on water or on air, if I focused into the combined spirit of those so many loved ones! They are immortal in a way, kept alive in memory.

And in notes like this one here.

This last of the aunties and uncles, like all of them, gave a grand American and human example of fine work and love to best of their powers and all the extra they could cook up. I am so proud of them all! In more than one case, they made honors, money and love with injured or disabled body parts, or traumatized feelings - and did just as well as those in full health ! To me that is the thing to remember most for inspiration.

The Music of What Happens is the finest song of all!

I am going to share the poem , translated from the Gaelic, in the next entry I think. I hope you feel it worth it.

Curlers

Curlers 

At ninety, there is no shame: “the bones and joints” won’t let her set her own hair anyway, so more fun at the hairdresser is in order.   My sister sent Mother’s curlers to me.  No fair - the memories!   Just curlers- as with all "the little things" -  a curlers story:

Mother’s parents had property and beauty and love but died young and suddenly, leaving eleven orphans:   Frank, Leo, Mike, Tony, Louie; Agnes, Frances, Josie, Mary, Florence, and Albina, our mother, third from the youngest.  The Great Depression ruled - children's  law went lax; the older ones went out on their own,  younger ones ‘ bunked in’ with them, one in an orphanage, and Mother, the heiress, adopted, with baby brother in tow.  When she came of age, a good attorney fought for her powers and rights, and won.  She met our Father and soon,  T\the Southport, Connecticut paper called her “The Southport Belle” in the engagement announcement!  And he "Smitty the Flight Mechanic" with pioneer Army Air Corps in Texas, California, London and Morocco - and she making ammunition with Remington Arms served proudly, doing their part - they  won over WWII as well!

Mother and Father exulted - peace, love, beauty, and prosperity!  They did every single thing with delicious skill and correctness and quality - triumph!  Later, change forced a reworking of it all to recoup losses to the success and laughter we enjoyed, but they won through and their way quite an example to us. 

Throughout our childhood, heaven was in Mother's sunny kitchen - friends and neighbors often joining in -  party plans, holiday cooking and gifts, and hundreds of Christmas cards and to be pretty enough for it all - pounds of beauty accessories, creams, potions, helpers and options spread about - getting and giving the home beauty treatments that were backup to a lady’s visits to fashion and hairdressing!  Blessed!

Caring is what's it all about.   The curlers reminded me how it was no burden, in that home full of love, to wash, condition and roll the hair and then tuck it under the cap of the table console hair dryer.  Of course, with our Dad at the table head - the latest tech was always there, including the first pink push-button kitchen range, and plug-in telephones and more.   Caring is what's it all about.  Barbers and tailors for Dad and my Brother with the guy-version of the same. Some of my Dad's work left his hands so that it took and hour to get them right, but he loved it.    
We'd earned our beauty time. The repairs and enhancements, mixed with the news, and happy girl-talk about health, love, money and more!   Beauty experiments that failed completely come to mind, too!   Periodically, we’d boil those curlers - germs did not stand a chance in that kitchen.  Maybe it's the boiling, and the way I still do the same,  that makes me think they earned the story now.  Wanting to do her hair just one more time, or his manicure, but glad I did it then.

Thank you, Mother, today, for the privilege of living in your realm, sunlight streaming into the room!  The memory is a living prayer and those curlers did their beauty job one last time: they brought the memory, the warmth, then tears, then peace and a smile!   

The Southport Belle - Ladycause & Cornelia's Gift

The Southport Belle and Fashion - Ladycause
note: This post is almost twice the length of recommended posts, so do not read it unless you read fast, since they measure proper blog length by how long it takes to read it - seven minutes optimum.

"Ladycause"  a Note on Fashion, then and now.

Threads of topic, the fiber of our being, the stuff of life - a bit of fabric and fashion find their way into our talk and writings - easily in my home State Connecticut since it's textile mills as far back as the 1600s are part of how America won its independence:  my home state wove the fabric for the nation until after the Civil War, including that of uniforms for both sides in the conflict.

And today it is about ending abuses in the fashion industry - one of the last places on earth that still works humans sub-humanly.   In America, we are pretty good, but the sweatshops still exist here; hidden in un-policed corners, the worst still happens.  Most such abuses take place outside the free countries. The Bangladesh event the most recent , click here for the updates.  

Actress/musician Minnie Driver has maintained Activist interest in ending the garment industry's Slavery and Sweatshops.  To make the "Cheap Chic" for cut-rate fashion, slavery of workers is still happening...and the related criminal activity it takes to hide it and support it. 

I hope to improve my research and post it as I succeed. Seamstresses love the fine detail, so I am not likely to let it go for long.

Mother loved it that I had the artist's hand and understanding of fabrics - she dressed well and could upholster and do up a lovely window treatment, but disliked sewing clothing of any kind - to the point of tearing a thing to shreds one day - exasperation.  She was lovely and tall and young and strong - just more of a model than a seamstress.    The fashion savvy among us was so good that I thought at first that I would be a fashion designer.   Coffee and teatime conversation among the women always included chat and photos and sketches and 'show and tell' of our latest fashion finds.

At  “Upper-midlife”, the perspective drives me to praise  for the many angels it takes to make a life, courtesy of "the mommies" .  The "stuff" of life cultivated in the child’s garden.   And I was their flower.   My training in fabric a story, so sweet in memory that it was my motive for this writing.   

DuPont Coated Fabrics plant in Fairfield employed three generations in Dad’s family , from Grampa’s day - doing his part of construction and Gram home with a large family after lady work for a bit sewing shoes, in spite of her silver spoon.    My Mother, Albina, married, gowned elegantly in the Chantilly Lace, as , home from Air Corps WWII, Father followed  at DuPont, fashioning the gold mylar for NASA's Lunar Landing Module. Then  my brother behind him, after his VietNam Red Beret service - continuing the great NASA jobs in the white collar, till the plant subsidized.

o-My part of things was easier:  I thought I might be a fashion designer at one point in my always art training, and because lady fashion was daily chatted at the ladies’ coffees and teas.  Civilized women talked all  details of culture into correctness.  Dyed=to-match, custom-made and  carefully shopped things through childhood culminated in two seamstresses and shopping in Manhattan’s garment district and a bridal gown and ensemble to remember.   An officer’s bride, soon I was doing neat things with target cloth and parachute silk and then knitting baby booties with a bit of a thing.   Bows for Christmas trees were the sensation next and their make and sell, paid for the the happiest of Christmases, with our men home from war and on to good life at home again.   Special fashion fabrics  and designs and creations for things for our home and children came next and my first aptsbiz projects were custom cascade and jabot trials.   Then the fine art took the lead,  and not much at the machine after that.   

But At nineleven, the one remaining textile processing plant in the area took my lead and in one day fashioned the 20x40 flag of weather-resistant red, white and blue that, proud and gracious,  displayed all day and was lighted elegantly for night until some years later, it became too worn and had to be taken down. My proudest project!

I hope to access study and research at the Fashion Institute of Technology, the authority on Textiles in the country. If it’s fabric ask them - they will know.

But the story here is about the charming beginnings I enjoyed as a little girl, sitting in the sunshine with "Nana" and "the mommies" and one bit of "stuff" or other between us, often singsonging:
"With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, she shall have music wherever she goes!"   Or,  the Laughter, crooning "Suffer for Beauty", or "Haute Couture, par Doleur"   Or the rules:  Always measure; Learn, teach, celebrate the skill !
The health is beauty/the beauty, health!

And always along with our Mother was ”Nana" - a neighbor, American, but from Albania. A holy gift to me, at age three, I shone in a fushia felt Dutch Girl cap and Vest, with "coat-of -many-colors" floral embroideries, tiny buttons on the vest, and the ties for the little cap grey and gold braided with the fushia felt in narrow strips, with fushia felt fringes.

Moneyed businesspeople, of grace and dignity, Cornelia and her husband's family were the stuff of Ken Burns' America, having virtually washed up on the shores, and had done very well,  They owned and operated "The Southport Candy Kitchen" for fifty years. And through our childhood, provided countless happy visits for the neat treats. I thought Sesame Street was inspired by them with its counting song: "The 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-Penny Candy Man”. 
When I was a girl, their home was warm with three fine sons, their pride and delight...no daughters, though!...c'est dommage! The women would lament, for her and with her.  Partly because “Nana” Cornelia was specially gifted in womanly arts! Her background Manhattan-trained in dress design, some jewelry, and related crafts and some lost arts. 

We lived next door, and she and I were a custom-made pair…often,after school, in me, Cornelia enjoyed a little girl to share her skills with, and I was always eager to learn a new creative thing. 

There was no conflict between Nana and my Mother, just enrichment. Nana loved my  Mother, too, in that beautiful profound way that us modern slickheads never share today with such purity and passion...they would celebrate the joys and lament the sorrows together...a woman's lot...my Mother was more modern, and Nana the only one to show me the ancient woman's burden...an almost spooky sound, a cry of-a-sort, in her speech at such times...and her goal was to teach me with her example, since she never gave orders. Happy conspirators in the business of being female "Just be careful! How well we women do today! And how so many women sufferred and suffer still!!! Hush, and help if you can and carefully!!!!! Carefully is part of the Beauty ..."Her doctor, when she bore her children, said that her special sound ,at childbirth, was unworldly profound, and she laughed with dignity and pride, like an opera singer being complimented on her gift.

But I knew mostly hugs and industry and laughter with her. She delighted us and if the love got any richer we would not have gotten any work done at all. In happy exasperation, and mock fury, her husband would truly "crack the whip" at his daily homecoming ..... compactly built, mildly wiry and sharp voiced when needed....he was just right, in those days! We children scrambled though , from her after-school kitchen back to ours and from him, when he came home from work, calling her name, Cornelia, in his own way: " Kuh-neeeeelyaaaa!!" snapsnapsnap. Oh! big eyes!....we were being too silly and her master was home!!!!! And off we'd go! I have a normal modern mind and worked in schools and his approach sounds positively illegal by modern measure, and yet, with them and in that house, it was happy, and he seemed to correct himself as quickly as the call left his mouth...helpless love...he adored her, supported the wonderful things she brought to our town, and celebrated her. I have no idea how he did it, but he did. When she died, he stayed his own and alone, and content to be so.

But, At seven, Cornelia taught me how to make my own dress patterns, the first an Indian maiden's dress for a Harvest party, easy, taupe with cut fringes...and for many years after, till my marriage wafted me out of her life, she shared the ways of many skills. I am trying to live to be a hundred to get the chance to share them before I must join her in Heaven.
br>The works of her hands, covered like her ears, in many rings: The felt carpets, in the colors I can see in my mind's eye this moment, forty years later. The shell-art from our hunts along the beach. Bracelets, floral arrangements, decoration for the garments, and more. Bow ties she would make for all the boys and men in the neighborhood, fastening them to the Christmas Tree for " choose one and pick it right off the tree " fun!!!!! The pretty Chanel-copy trims she made by the yard to edge her custom-done lady suits, with hats and shawls to match...fur trims for both, sometimes, and lined with the silk to match the silk blousing..."totally major New York"....Easter Parade!... the concepts of style, quality, symmetry, elegance, "custom made", richness... and worth that had nothing to do with the bank, monochrome and everything to match for "the look" of self-esteem.....passion to please our good men, and play.......womanly beauty as a universal concept, there in all women, if we would just remember to never be in argument with our bodies when it was time to adorn them.

Cornelia herself was a Helena Rubenstein clone: born very large, she was proof of the power of couture a cosmetic and the "inner lights" to overcome anything nature could dish out by way of a fashion cross. Elegantly put together at all times, she was one of the most beautiful women I have ever known! An my opinion was shared by most. She would lament that my women were smaller-built and fret about making me"whizzy" as a little girl with her bigness, and so she would make rose oil soaps for me, making a ritual of shopping for just the right rose oil. Gliding me on my see-saw, she would sing: "With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, she shall have music wherever she goes!".... Only a Chinese princess was treated more royally than I by Nana... Cornelia.

I am good, so I scrambled to do for her, any small chore that came to hand, and paid attention to the things I did that pleased her , so I could do them more.

She would talk about New York, and sometimes the sweat shops, but in that way, with deference to a little girl, to hint, to insinuate the concept, and not to upset a little girl with too much of the seamy side of it. Enough to warn against naivete. But if you knew her, you would create a file immediately in the memory, promising not to reference it till it was time.

For many years through my girlhood, we shared love and happiness through good and bad times. And when it was time for me to marry..........ahhhhh! We can have the best fun the gown !!!!!!!!! We went through dozens of the bridal publications and photos of the fashions........and sketched and planned until the design was right!

Cornelia was aging and promoted to consultant, and another sewing friend the seamstress! Next our special trip to Manhattan. All my Childhood, I would prance to meet her like a puppy when she returned from one of her fabric-buying expeditions in New York... not just three yards for a little skirt and notions in a little bag, like me. No, no.....When Cornelia went to town, there were yards and yards for dress and gown! An event in itself....and when she returned, the packages set on the sideboard ...We would have tea, make some of the "Krem", a yogurt, or the crescent sesame cookies or baklava with the nuts and honey and talk....clear the things and beauty refresh, and then bring the many packages to the big dining table, the room was always the right kind of sunny...and she would display them all for fun with me, the wonderful fabrics and colors and buttons and needles and threads....and I a happy audience if she preferred to share a show of it...(somehow when I studied with some, I remember the needles, but with Nana, the fabrics and the colors......I do not remember her catting me off, ever, not once! ) Then it was time to put the fabric away...."you are getting so good and smart, I will show you now how carefully we keep the fabric......and where......see? high and dark on the shelf with the tissue between the layers and the door closed after it. ".....mysteries and curiosities! And she would make it entertaining in her gestures and tone of voice.........I could hardly sew, and applaud at the same time, and so my eyes got big from it from her, as did my heart.

And suddenly it was years later, and I was to be included on the magical trip to town for the fabric for my weddin gown........who me? I 'm Sandra Dee....the bride!!!!"I love and am loved... I am the principessa.......but and so, I must remain demure, and let the excitement remain a great energy within...immature behavior would not please Nana today, this was serious business. Giggling might make her sorry she granted the honor. "Someday I will work at the UN from the way I like to make discrete faces!" So I dreamed en route that day.

The Garment district was not to be confused with the Designers' Ateliers ......the Hell that made the very odd kind of Heaven for milady's pleasure.

We are walking down Canal street...it is summer...the streets are hot and dirty and we pick our way through the dirty sweaty people to match.... who make unfriendly faces if we look at them...and yet, all of it is a treat, exciting and different from home. Suddenly I am like Scarlett coming to town in Postwar Atlanta, with Mammy ! .....a little boy horrifies this Fairfield girl by going to the bathroom against the outer wall of a nearby building.......I am finding it easier to be discrete by the minute......

Then the fabric shops begin to appear...the real thing...storefronts attached to the factories or distributors... ..........I don't squint........it is getting interesting exciting.......steady on!!!!!.......

We begin to be able to view the window displays.....Cornelia informs me, finally , her first words since we arrived in the neighborhood...She guessed my impression at first sight of the storefronts....."Don't let the things in the window depress you......watch and see!....." We entered the first store.....her beautiful olive-done face and shiny coif perfectly arranged.....the alert black eyes, the full mouth and the delicate nose deciding whether or not tobother to sneer ..........she had a sneer that worked!!!!!!!!......we left.............entering again at another shop, a little further along...........again ...almost a sneer it was worth to her...........and again we left.........I don't remember , but I think she went on like this with me, till she feared I'd tire before we actually began the fabric choices....and all of it the greatest fun with Nana.....whatever her motive, we entered THE shop.............someone looking like a manager swooshed out to greet her with great and formal bows.........Mrs.S____! How MAY we help you today! So wonderful to see you..... visiting royalty!!!!! She responded with a queenly acknowledgement of appreciation for his courtesy..."This is a very special visit! My Ellen May is marrying, and must have THE gown!!!! " ..few people could use the doublename with me without my objection, but Cornelia could........"A weddddding!!!!!!" the manager beamed and began to direct us at fabric displays....those in front they dismissed as garbage immediately, and moved to the more shaded shelves further back in the store........this second set of offerings won only an "almost a sneer.".......futher yet, and more.....these we looked at, and rejected outright.............." Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! ", he smiled sincerely, now rising to the occasion, !!!!!! " You are smart and you know what to do!!!!!!!!!! ", as he signalled stealthily to us to follow...not a noise now!!!!!!!!!!!! The rooms were dark and odorless and oldddddd........but he found a light that it revealed a library of a sort....I thought it was a chapter from my Nancy Drew stories, come to life...because the layers of fabric were wrapped ....no layer of fabric rubbed against another............and the bolts rowed up on shelves from the waist high counter to ceiling all around the room........."Now, we're getting somewhere...." Cornelia remarked.........."but.....ummmmm, ...." and amazingly, he disappeared behind the shelves and into still one more and darker corner, ......of course, by this time, I AM Nancy Drew, and followed him..........barely outlines of one more small room, floor to ceiling bolts of more fabric......what an adventure! I backed out to allow him to bring what he had found to the counter in the second-to-last room!................Gasp!!!!!!!! The double-sided white brocade was good enough for the bloomin' Queen of England, who we loved by the way................I went as pale as the brocade with honor and love at the find.................."I think this might be the one.".........then more of the same for the hunt for the right veiling and enough of it, and the little combs to hold the pillbox hat and the fur trim. As he measured the trim, "an early faux expensive white mink clone"....he measured the length we requested, drawing our attention to his pinched fingers at the clipping point....then slid the fingers down several inches more........."for good luck and healthy babies, this much more for you for a gift!"............Nana and I smiled gratefully, bowed 'goodbyes", and floated out in wedding gown heavenly transport .........tired but triumphant and forever enriched with an unforgettable day.

The gown was perfect... and I will tell the rest of the story, surely worth it, but must stop here...........It was war days, and at the wedding I was encouraged to get about it with a son for my new prince, since Viet Nam might widow me without an heir to his name.....a very dizzy day at such moments.... and we were off.......with hugs for all in warrush....when I returned, though, Cornelia had her own daughters in law, and I had new babies and so understood the distance of correctness between grownup women, still young and proud to be among them.....and then off we were with important postwar work and the next time I visited, Cornelia had passed away.....I was stunned, since my duties at the time gave me little social leeway....I wished I had been able to sit with her one more time, but I guess that's how it is.......and off again and back to work with my own life in another place........twenty years later,I felt blessed, at least, to be able to share a special smile of love and hug with Jimmy, her husband, now in this nineties and soon to pass as well.....I would not have attempted the things I have done, or been able to trust my heart and soul without the million dollar gift of time and love from people like Nana...Cornelia and Jimmy...such experiences create a love for life and a wish to share and an obligation to enrich the lives of others in only the nicest ways....I am not patient with negative, and with poor souls with poorer motives, sometimes and I know I am wrong to be so, because it means I am dragging in the soul......not quite making it over the top with my obligation to share a luminous thing.....so I find one of these moments like the memory of the story above and make it a vitamin........and it still works!!!!!!! Rest, try again!!!!!!!!