War & Johnny Carson's Shirt Size
I was going to tell my happy husband and Handsome Prince when we retired - a huge list of neat things women "keep in their hearts". Fun things to share when we were white-haired and satisfied, enjoying the view from the porch in our rocking chairs: like why I watched "The Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson long past the time one does. Can't do that now. He died before retirement. And so I must share it with you:
a true story from the 1960's dedicated to deployed military and their loved ones at home.
I was going to tell my happy husband and Handsome Prince "when we're old" - a huge list of neat things couples "keep in their hearts". My handsome Prince got home from war just fine and to a fine successful life in work and love and fatherhood, but I'll never get to tell him these things I saved. He died suddenly one morning, well before retirement age. But I can share it with you:
He was an officer, with USACEngineers, Black Diamonds special ops - showing Army Engineers how to NOT to use the horribly carcinogenic Agent Orange to clear foliage. Just graduated with a degree in Chemistry, a healer - He loathed all Chemical Warfare. He enlisted before his draft notice arrived in July, because, if he did so, he was promised that he could choose his job.
It was worthy , but it was war.
The news shared a list of horrifying new war words daily, with "body bag" at the top! I'd blanche and take a chair. No Norman Rockwell and John Wayne easy patriotism - no. Unable to sleep, the popular "Heeerrre's Johnnny!" called my attention and tried to not be "one tough audience" to get a laugh from - though things for us were grim.
Replying to audience comments and questions, he told us his shirt size ! What a guy won't say, to get a laugh! But if you are Johhnnnnny, you can say ANYthing and bring down the house - even his shirt size won the moment. OK, funny!
But NOT for me; Hypersensitive from love and fear, the mention of "fourteen-and-a-half / thirty-two" made me jump up - Though my husband was taller, the shirt size was the same. And suddenly for a moment I smiled in happy peace , remembering the first time I bought him a shirt, the first time I pressed one up for him for a fete, and the first time I trashed a worn out one that he loved secretly and replaced it with a spotless twin. Oh dear, I WAS missing him so much!
It was 1968 - there was no media - no internet - no SKYPE - no email - nothing to bring reassuring live images of my deployed husband. There was Silence, and often lost or delayed mail. Food and other goodies I'd send were raided and never reached him.
I praised our baby, whose health made me NOT hold onto stress that would upset the infant in my arms. Being a good mommy meant NOT hugging our son tighter than I should over it.
But the silly moment worked and after that night, I'd watch Johnny Carson and fix on that shirt size, over and over - for the power of a factoid to generate connectivity. It worked, somehow, till my husband's tour was done. It was a way of poking fun at my own fears.
My late husband's homecoming from war remains the happiest day of my life - surpassing our wedding, our children's births, and even my art at the White House. Till then Death was there constantly taunting me with promises to destroy all the work and love of my own birth and development to make a fine adult life. Fear taunting constantly, no matter how cool and good and brave and busy I could be.
But, NO - you won't win this one....LIFE this time. My Lieutenant USACE Black Diamonds - some months later, walked through that door at LaGuardia - HOME - "all ten fingers, all ten toes", and the love better than ever for the test!
No Johnny Carson story for him - NOT that day. Time - the gift of time was ours - no rush. My husband had plenty of stories, as well, but one look at one another and we exulted : "We'll talk about it when we're old! We're not gonna have a problem ." And we didn't! Boundlessly grateful there was no PTS for us! Life - we won our right to a good life - with a down-payment on the mortgage for it.
Even years later, with our babies half grown and softly sleeping in the next room , curled up safe and sound, "watching Carson" with my husband - I'd sometimes remember the time of his deployment and that night when I was saved by "Johnny Carson's shirt size" on tv; and I'd feel "moreso" blessed for a moment, by comparison to those late nights alone, with nothing but a fixation on a "shirtsize-in-common" to help me hold onto my mind. Grateful praise !
Even widowed, years later I am fine and thriving for the goodness of the many years we made and enjoyed so well!
To all who serve and to all who love them, l send a good wish and a prayer that the Angels send at least a helpful bit of silliness, like "Johnny Carson's Shirt Size" to help any who need one.
Patriot pages
"The Constitution was not perfect when it was framed.
It is not perfect today.
Our Constitution, even our Bill of Rights,
Provides no set formula that fits all peoples around the world.
But they do offer an inspiring example of ageless ideals realized and made to work,
with the eternal message that men and women everywhere
were intended to be free to shape their own destinies."
...Warren Burger, Chief Justice of the United States (1969-1986) at 200th Anniversary of the Bill of Rights, from the Bowling Green, Kentucky "Daily News" January 27, 1991
Patriot Pages ~ May you find, here, patriotic inspiration, refreshers and helpful links ! ~ elle
THE VOTE FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is a holy thing and Voting Day almost here - November 8th. Many places have extended the registration options, in their desire to make it easier to vote, so if you forgot, there may still be time. Check with your local government registrars or League of Women Voters or - "Voters Page" some basics and links to Voting and Elections IF you already feel fine about your own vote, get busy helping others - we are the family of Man and if we can, we should! -elle
LINKS from this page :
- GALLERY OF PATRIOTIC IMAGES FOR PURCHASE
- "Patriots Primer" link to Basics for Americans
- "Veterans Page" of helpful links and other contents
- "Voters Page" some basics and links to Voting and Elections
- Elvis the Wrecker - an Mid-Century, All-American TRUE Story
American Flag by Elle Fagan Price on Request - contact artist. These and other patriotic images and symbols are for sale here at the site and for your enjoyment at the Gallery of Patriotic Images link, above.
Great Seal of the State of Connecticut, my Home State - central to our State Flag, the motto means "They who tranasplanted sustain", a reference to our success as transplants in the New World , symbolized by the grapevines, whose transplanting has always been holy.
Love of Country,
Please do not skip these quotes from Great Men & Women
"...its soul, its climate, its equality, liberty laws, people, and manners.
My God! how little do my countrymen know what precious blessing they are in possession of,
and which no other people on earth enjoy!" -Thomas Jefferson
"All I can hope to teach my son is to tell the truth and fear no man.
The only thing that counts is the right to know, to speak, to think...
that ,and the sanctity of the courts.
Otherwise it's not America" -Edward R. Morrow
"...when shall all men's good
Be each man's rule,
And universal peace
Be like a shaft of light
Across the land"
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
"God grant, that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the Rights of Man,
may pervade all the nations of Earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot
anywhere on its surface, and say, "this is my country."
-Benjamin Franklin
"He shall judge between the nations, and shall decide for many peoples;
and they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
neither shall they learn war any more.
-William Makepeace Thakeray, and the Bible
"The Constitution was not perfect when it was framed.
It is not perfect today.
Our Constitution, even our Bill of Rights,
Provides no set formula that fits all peoples around the world.
But they do offer an inspiring example of ageless ideals realized and made to work,
with the eternal message that men and women everywhere
were intended to be free to shape their own destinies."
...Warren Burger, Chief Justice of the United States (1969-1986) at 200th Anniversary of the Bill of Rights, from the Bowling Green, Kentucky "Daily News" January 27, 1991
Patriot and the Arts
Grants for the Arts make the news . One headline stated that the President asked for much more than was granted, especially for a Major Project to help America become more familiar with its own Amazing American Artists . I think the project is important to America and the World; the American Arts History. ENJOY MY BLOG ENTRY: "Art in America - a Timeline"
POWERED BY SQUARESPACE
Photo Stories for my Soldier 1968
A friend shared her firstborn son's four-month baby photo story at Facebook this morning and improved Monday measurably! Thanksomuch, Jessica ! Mother and child are a gift to life itself! It reminded me of our own son's baby days! May this post help do my part for veterans and all loving parents.
A friend shared her firstborn son's four-month baby photo story at Facebook this morning and improved Monday measurably! Thanksomuch, Jessica ! Mother and child are a gift to life itself! It reminded me of our own son's baby days! May this post help do my part for veterans and all loving parents.
The story: My new husband and Corps of Engineers Lieutenant liked my Red Cross work as he prepared for deployment with work as Assistant Brigade Adjutant at Fort Knox, Kentucky. Partners in it all, and now parenthood too! Our new marriage was getting really good! So he obtained an extension on his departure date so he could be there for the birth and the early christening, and then off to war, when our son was 22 days old. But we had run along with our cameras as sweethearts and newlywed, and promised to let photos continue to help us stay close.
I'd plan the photo shoot and get busy - back and forth as photographer and with a drafted helper, then, into the photo myself for my mommy role. Then the editing: I’d assemble the stories with captions and send them on to his Daddy in Viet Nam.
With his degree in Chemistry and hatred for Chemical warfare, he was proud to be with His USACE Special Ops group, "Black Diamonds", bridge-building and getting rid of Agent Orange. To be sure to get that job, my late husband took on Construction work as a summer job and was required to enlist before his draft notice arrived. They would be sent at birthdays, and his was in July, so not much graduate partying in June, but running to Army Recruiting to get in on time.
I don't know what sort of mass hypnosis we use to make it bearable, but war is "like, dangerous" and they were not showing enough John Wayne movies! His job was not especially combat of any sort, but they all took their turn at duties with guns. I was twenty-one and in love; I pretended it was just “post partum” stuff when I swooned from horror at the dangers he faced...he and friends and neighbors' sons and soon, my Brother. The wonderful new Playtex baby nurser with super safe disposable bags was fun. But an innovation called "body bags" was not. I never stopped getting sick at the idea of bagging people. They needed a much more respectful term for it, and insistence use of that term. Both soldiers and newscasters were awful in their deliberate disrespect when they used the term.
Unable to cry, desperate to do something to help, all I could do, was find the good perfumed stationery and send the photo stories and pray a lot, and " not make waves" . There was no SKYPE and no digital imaging, but now the photo stories for my lieutenant got serious in their mission. Keeping up morale when those who were supposed to do and say supportive things were NOT. And what if my pathetic efforts got lost in the famously-horrible mail? The popcorn and cookies I sent NEVER got there. Once his letters did not get to me for weeks and once mine did not reach him and the letters back were full of his concern as were mine to him, by the time they arrived, it was frustration to read them, since the issue had passed.
Young and low-budget or not, there was money for at least two copies of the photo essays. Head and heart in the production to keep it light and helpful for all the best fun. The christening and the bath time stories remain my favorite - wiggly before, splashing during, full of delight. And after? One he'd love with happy, sleepy, clean and dry baby and happily wet and messy Mommy. His Father's letters in reply were full of love and praise for the joy the stories brought in the middle of a war. The highchair mealtimes, the fun in the stroller and other photo stories - easy! How good to know that they helped!
And, thanks to the extension on the deployment, Daddy was home in time for his son's first haircut and baby's first Christmas - Father and Son together "all ten fingers - all ten toes" - my favorite baby picture story of all!