Timeline - 2. why is it about time? Happy New Year!

It is a beautiful new year and I am thrilled - truly thrilled - about a lot of things in my life, at upper midlife.  This is the first of "Timeline" stories. Introduction of a sort.

Work and love to share in all directions and good health, gold stars, and a neat snowy night in Connecticut to write its start. still, to maybe do the good things, before I am too old, or lose health and powers.    This is a good time:  Profound terrors and trepidations have been won through - most with Triumph - a few unfixable Failures.  But both  took years to integrate into the normal flow of life,  so that they could be written and shared.

I will  be genuine  - not vain with masks anyone can penetrate - Life is easy - pay attention. 

Our successes or failures must not blind us to that bit in the human genome where lives the  appreciation of the miracle of life.  

It is that passionate, active-not-dallying appreciation that  makes us want to continue the journey - do more life - even on the most terrifying, traumatic, tragic, pathetic of days !   And prepare to show the heart, the  smile and grace for the grand moments that must be just right. 

Age may pale out our bodies, but so far, there is still that desire and instinct to  rejuvenate that dynamic appreciation - mindfulness, maybe.  The stories help restore the moments on this timeline that spark the rest, to create the continuum, and even entertain and inspire.

Labor Day 1953

Note: featuring the happy stories about Mother for the next few days - this is her week - she passed in her sleep before Monday morning12/11/17, at just shy of 92....she is free to be our angel always. I love you, Mother!

Life was very very good for the Smith Clan of Fairfield after WWII - all the sons who served, home and decorated for their heroism for Army Engineers in the Battle of the Bulge, Army Communications, Marines, Army Infantry,  Army MPs, and our Dad Pioneer Army Air Corps "Smitty the Flight Mechanic" .  All home and married to their sweethearts who served on the home front and all grateful and joyfully working at grand new jobs and raising families. 

Photoshop needed here - but it's Father's fun with new camera day and all three of us with Mother at one time. Rare to get us all to stand still together that long.

Exuberant Gram and Gramps so proud and nearing their 50th wedding anniversary, and fit for it, joined the annual Labor Day Picnic - a patriotic work song celebration - and this  year it was at Auntie Em's big homestead, to save Gram the work for a change at their "Little White House".

Mother was tall and lovely and expecting her third child very soon and fidgeted that morning, wondering if it was wise to join seven Irish sons and a daughter and their respective families at the blowout event of the year.   She had experienced a false labor, a trip to hospital to deliver, but home again, and NOT deflated enough -  so it could be any time now.  But the All-American Smith Family day found her doing her part with the women, setting up the table and presenting the feast, as the men talked over their game of horseshoes and the children helped with chores and played running and swinging games at the fine large place under the trees and in the field with the sheep and one good donkey.

NOT without caprice, Mother thought it might help things along to overdo the watermelon-eating and did.  Sure enough !     The second trip the hospital soon followed, and blushing, back to face the crowd at the picnic in an hour,  from a second false labor.  Father and the others making jokes about my Mother's desire to "go have this baby" on Labor Day made for a LOT of extra fun that day, for everyone but our Mother and the baby! 

But she was NOT wrong to feel like getting things going - when our sister Lori was born on September 18th, she was not fat, but a very long baby weighing in at 9 pounds 3 ounces!  No wonder she felt it MIGHT be time!  Third millennium medicine would have been able to image it out and let Mother deliver earlier, but back then, no.    And...Since Lori soon developed normally in size, it WAS surely just a long pregnancy resulting in high birth weight.  This one remains a family favorite LORISTORY , all these years later!   Hope you enjoyed it! 

And always a quick prayer and a wish that all who ARE in labor on this American Labor Day, enjoy a celebration of life of it all - today and always! 

Amazon Revelations Adulations Celebrations Postulations Reverberations

Happy Holiday!  I wished it to the Amazon chat helper today again for the 7th time since first buying Prime in Autumn 2011, as they thanked me for the longtime membership.

So I said, " You make every day a holiday - you empower my life!"   I started with Amazon for the product but I stay for Customer Service!  

All the time saved by technology and folk like Amazon !  - that "service with a smile" commitment is wonderfully old-fashioned while the tech to make it real is positively future.    I am one happy customer.   Never once has my plea over a point been ignored.  Amazon Customer Service has come through for me perfectly almost every time. 

So yesterday, when I said I was writing about Amazon,  the Amazon representative who was helping me suggested I post it to Jeff Bezos.    I thought - "I  don’t know enough about him - should research him a bit, before I do this post" and  in finding the links to Jeff Bezos,  I was STUNNED by the new information I found - the man is a mega version of  " myyown !"   

Since so many of my forebears have passed on, it is treat to find another of those who grew up with tech pioneers in their midsts.    Jeff Bezos does  things that my Dad, Brother or Husband or Children might do...and they all " do something" .  And talked and dreamed of more!   Wow!   I have since gotten some Audible publications about him, for more of the Jeff Bezos story.    It is clear he is doing so much because he CAN - it’s just who he is - his day’s work. 

It is still rewarding to a Mother, to see the Youngsters doing such miracles!  Widowed many  years ago , the children and I rallied well and It seemed mended now, but then an accident stopped me again;  again I rallied and this time with power and focus in the work and love …doing it.

I could do NONE of it without technology and folk like Amazon and its helpers - they are my virtual staff -  may this post “tip” them at the holiday.    So much of what was done by paid human help I get from tech now...floor robots , data processing,  instant purchases of things I need to do my life right - instant research and images and text to help my business, delivered to my computer or to my door with lightning speed.  Even when hurt in an accident, I got it all done because I could a morning's tasks in under an hour, online, and can, for at least another ten years - maybe twenty. 

Why, I could be the first octogenarian on the moon colony, via a future Amazon project!    - I DO have input for Mr Bezos to help and two projects if he'd like to take them up. Someone should.  For now AMAZING AMAZON IS PLENTY for the plate.  Thank you, truly, Amazon!

Aftershow Afterglow

Monday November 27th 2017 -   grateful that good rest found me up and ready this morning.

Study subject for Spring/Summer art

Monday is Sunday for many artists because they work nights and weekends often, and sometimes permitted to do my Sunday religious things on Monday, as well, since the Sunday idea is restoration of the spirit , study and reflection - focus for the week ahead. 

Lunch was wonderful Thanksgiving dinner leftovers and amazing soup!  Then it was about packing gear and on to unfinished business from the previous Saturday.  The bus at my door and ten blocks to Artspace Hartford, to pickup a painting that did not sell after this year’s OSH Group Show closing.  Two strong fabric artwork sleeves and bungee, on a wheeled dolly for the 36 x 48 inch framed art, found me trotting merrily back home - cost:  thanks to senior deals and planning - $2.24 ,  a fun fee for  a trip to America’s  cradle!

Connecticut State Capitol Hartford and the famous ancient burial grounds and waters taken by the Founding Fathers and the Old State House that ran things, including the famous Amistad trial,  upstairs,  and on the groud floor- well….ground:  a mini-mall farmers market with dirt floor in places for livestock for sale and area produce in 1776.   Today the modern Farmers Market pitches its tents and tables there as a love song to forebears.   And THIS Hartord is my stomping grounds for five years now! Wow!   The nation's first museum now crowned by a controversial neon “OMG” over the fine restoration, to show they are NOT only about yesterday.

Four shows done this fall - and fit again, after a disability - my window to un-disable my formerly-lovely money.  New legal and business help empowers -  I WILL do it.  Recent prizes and sporadic sales satisfy the misgivings of others who are not used to working “upper-midlife-ers” like me. Done making  less money than I made babysitting as a girl  - no more  - Dues paid -  EARNINGS now and money fixes - age with dignity.

These were my thoughts,  while minding it all, as the famous Hartford chill  city winds caught the large wrapped wheeled painting, as though it was a boat sail !   But I smiled in my heart because  I grew  up on Southport Harbor and loved it !   So I tacked thru it like a good little sailboat art and artist, doing just fine!    Ten or twelve historic blocks to the bus hub.  Careful navigation wins.

When the bus driver looked at me at boarding,   I said "not to worry, i am fine  . I do this all the time! " truthfully, and settled safely and was delivered to my door before dark!    YES...I love my life at “55-and-holding” !  Checking the FitBit ap when I got in - YESSSS!!! the extra work found me OVER THE TOP for the day's goals  and blessed home base met by day’s end !   

Do Monday right and the rest follows well.

The Murder of the Part-Time Wardrobe - a holiday fun mystery in 500 words!

Four Art shows!  Count'em - four!   And no sales from this venue of the previous five years!  A lifetime first- no sales. Alone now, and thrilled to be running around and doing life in full health after a disability that could have been fatal, the need to recover the MONEY to full health was now the key.

And so it was easy to slip the charge into the back of the large gold frame that enhanced my entry in the largest of the shows!  

My art had won prizes since girlhood, church and state, all the way to the White House, and so the zero sales were NOT okay.

 For five years, the huge gallery had been "home" - so much time there, setting up, screening, doing drop-offs and pickups and receptions, promotions  and related side-shows!   The place had become a wardrobe of a sort - the contents inserted and removed as needed - changed all the time,  but not entirely,  and provided a magic portal to world-class events, thanks to the very hard work of all involved.  A Part-Time Wardrobe, Indeed!

No sales directly associated with the place - NONE. A lifetime first- NOT ONE SALE!

Life had been good, then tragic , then redeemed, but not really unless the money would redeem as well.

NO sales? No sales meant NO redemption in this real world.f

I am a redcrosslady and non-violent, but gee!  So poison charges in the frame would do the trick - nothing deadly,  and triggered at pickup, the art would be fine and no one hurt -  but fogged enough to stink the place up, to high heaven, till Spring! 

YES....

I got busy helping with the take-down, and enjoyed the “wardrobe” one more time - taking in all the art, as the artists collected them at show’s end. Then as I took hold of my own “part of the art” I released the stink bomb capsule into a corner not visible to anyone who did not already know it was there.

Bye Bye - Happy Holiday! So good to see you all again - was quite sincere- they had been good and kind and great fun and restored the dead to life with their art and its related work for five years with me as a respected member!  Bye bye- and hit the “on “ switch to my stinkbomb , then the “off”switch to my “Tempoary Wardrobe” and danced happily off to fine family holiday reunions.

Leaving art events smiling , with me, usually means that people liked the work and bought some - even a little.   

I left smiling - and let them think so…….

This story fun to pass on from a facebook game begun by actor Benedict Cumberbach - click to join, if it is still there...if not, here, at least, is a screenshot to help you understand "what on earth?" 

My radio show - if I had one - Thanksgiving 2017 musings...

I promised to post this today.   my show.... What would I call it?   The funny name club show?  Sassy seniors with long hair?  Snak-l-frok !

But it is not like that - my name means light and if I had a show it would be to bring light into a dark place - many dark places.  Confront dilemmas and mysteries and get them solved.

My housekeeper said "you really get things done" - and there is that feeling of a doing a thing for the world - but I want to focus on things my Normal Rockwell Childhood brought to table for action - then tabled and never done.   

I think "Occupant Safety & Escape Technology" for planes and tall buildings would lead my campaigns - for years death from their failure has NOT been necessary, but no one is making them do it.  In fact, I'd put it away, then forgot it - parents' orders.  Then on NINELEVEN, I literally had to grab the counter to NOT fall down, when the memory found me and stunned me.   NO ONE needed to die that day.  NO ONE.   If the escape tech had been done on time, two things, in fact would have happened:  if attacked occupants could safely leave the plane or building FAST - super fast.  But with such tech in place, terrorists may  have skipped it for an idea, since there would be so few victims.

On my show, I could invite the dozens of contacts whose job it was to make and use the Technology but who could not or would not.  I would talk with them to see what it would take to win the breakthrough.

This is a priority topic: lives depend on it and I am still a good redcrosslady.   But I do  have a  list of topics I would share from my own experience and observation - I will add them here or linked.

We have so much for which to give Thanks!   BECAUSE we got things done, leaping to meet opportunities and win through obstacles -  and no other reason!

Blue " Hallelujah"

 Peter Hollen and Jackie Evancho sing a pretty a capella version of Leonard Cohen's iconic "Hallelujah" -  this year at YouTube for the holidays ......find it if you can.   I think I wrote this "Variation on the Theme" for a memorial to the author's passing this November 7th

A ' Different'  Hallelujah

What , sweet angels, do you do

It's Christmas and they don't like you, 

And to be truthful, you're not keen on them ?

Skip them,  and go find your friends

and play till New Year's parties end

Find the new year full of Hallelujahs

Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !

When big hurts hurt, they do deplete - 

It isn't pretty, isn't sweet

You cry, "Please, Santa, ANY Hallelujah ! "

You pray to find a new insight

 it won't run clear, it won't go right

 Till you can't even spell out  'Hallelooojah' !

Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !

I found my son today online

With Bride, too far away, but  fine

But why assail me with   UN-hallelujah !

And now they'll have to charm this dear,  

to find the former welcome here

And still I know I'll know that Hallelujah !

Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !

His sister's newly-wedded smiles

Just dreams - we are apart by miles

Some one-day moment here -  for Holy Yule - yah !

Again a merry company

For Christmas, once again, and we will

Sing ensemble, truly,  Hallelujah!

Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !    Hallelujah !   Hallelujah ! 

The strawb'ry top still  spins,  my loves !

The spirit's there and more above

A power of its own, sing Hallelujah !

I love the wisdom of my years

The invitation's loud and clear, so

  I'll close now  and just get back to my Yule - yah !

Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !   Hallelujah !

May YOUR  "Hallelujah" and "Gloria" and "cheers", glow with family spirit this year and always!

elle

INK and Hartford's 28th Annual Open Studio

Wish me luck!  - I am part of the art for   The 28th Open Studio Hartford events  that wind up this weekend - my fifth year with this “Art meets Disneyworld” wonder!

Come to the closing show this Saturday - details at the link above.

But about the INK -  media coverage was not what it should be - so the sales were less that we had a right to expect for all our hard work and investment.    A steady stream of  really charming visitors arrived in spite of a cold snap in the weather, but much  less than would have been there with DECENT coverage. 

Open Studio Hartford is VERY popular and very worth it!    300+ artists at a dozen locations all over downtown Hartford is a BIG BIG BIG deal  ... and YET...  there were zero tv spots to let folks know we were here!  I was there and TV and other media were NOT - NOT ONE CAM to video the event at startup to bring visitors!  Not one reporter panning the room with questions and attention - attention we EARNED.

And so, much of the Public  missed  the fun and extras - and that hurt the event folk at every level - after all that work in organization, prep and really beautiful setups at every art venue, with free and reduced parking, and free shuttles through the locations !  

An old hand at artstuff, I PROMISED to Act and find ways to see that  OSH  is  respected in the media,  responsibly.   There is still time for them to redeem themselves this year and promise better for the future!   

This weekend, we are still having grand fun with Ekphrasis and the Saturday event After Party !   The event opening/closing party is getting famous as an All-American event with folk from jeans to evening formalwear in attendance - free admission and often 500+ attendees during the evening. See the link for details - art , food, wine/un-wine , music, performance!  Please come !   Family-friendly.

But the "ink" - When biz leaves Hartford,  it is most certainly in part because Hartford is  just plain lazy supporting it dynamically.   Nothing comes from nothing and support is NOT that difficult to generate.   Let's do better!   The work shared represented honors in schools and conscientious self-starting work for years - years!   Can you imagine how we felt, after placing faith in the famous event , and setup to share really fine things - only to be left chatting among ourselves? 

I am going to get real action on this topic  - the show Admin was grand - but not the INK.    I love Connecticut  so, and Hartford specially -  and am media-active lifelong - I can help   ^_^         What about YOU?     28th Open Studio Hartford !   Pass it on!  

While I still can - WINE

A Wine travel blog entry came into focus today, when wondering what sort of winecomment I should share.

Enjoy the wine in an ancient Italian Cave at Enoteca dai Tosi 

I am not a sommelier, but, since I am on no medications yet, I make sure I enjoy 

alcohol temperately and deliciously and socially, while I still can.

I am a light drinker so it’s the experience and flavor and the company or brand or locale to enhance.
My new collection includes:  A nice liqueur tray, some emergency cognac, a bit of the best scotch I can afford, a good bourbon, and wine, wine wine, collected lovingly and with a sense of fun and enjoyed as prescribed by WebMD, so the final tab does not include physical harm to me.

My sassy senior fitness allows me to travel again: an injury healed and new income allows me to travel decently.  I began to smile at the neat wine+travel ideas found online.  Sharing the links for you here should be fun, and give me reference for next season’s travel.  Iinvite your ideas as well.       

Ancient Italian Cave hosts neat new wine bar.   Enoteca dai Tosihttp://www.enotecadaitosi.it/en/gallery/

Croatia Monty’s Dog Beach and Barhttps://www.facebook.com/montysdogbeach/

CroatiaDive to Underwater Wine Cellarhttp://www.edivovina.hr/en

Napa CaliforniaJarvis’s opulent tour cellarshttp://www.jarviswines.com

FranceMedoc 5-day Marathon and Wine Tour event   http://www.winetourisminfrance.com/fr/magazine/85_marathon_des_chateaux_du_medoc.htm

France, Italay AND Napa / AmericaWine on Wheels!     https://www.duvine.com/culinary-bike-tours/

Ekphrasis Prize Poem "In the Woods"

Find time this summer for a cool walk in the shade along a stream like this - good for everything!   The painting has a nice story.  Read on.

"Ekphrasis" is an event  of the  Open Studio Hartford annual city-wide presentions.  Ekphrasis extols selected images from its group show in song and dance and poetry.   I am honored to say that Poetess Susan Mardinly made the poem "In the Woods" about my  2016 painting of the same name , shown here.  Comment Welcome.  Thank you at Thanksgiving to Susan and her beautiful verse!  Poetry is her second suit - she is lifetime music with honors in teaching as well. But she has shared here book of poetry here    https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Calls-Susan-J-Mardinly/dp/1494827107           The painting was special to make and it has been really nice to see it win attention - for sale here https://ellefagan.com/fineartstorepage/in-the-woods

“In the Woods” Elle Fagan - Water Media 2016 Sold. More like it on request. Thank you to the buyer!

In the Woods

Light shines upon the forest stream,

facets dancing upon rocks and pebbles,

singing to us, knowing we also are fashioned of light,

magnetic, electric, fused, 

particles, forms, waves, 

of dreams, of unperceived matter,

of fundamental knowing,

but always drawn light unto light.

Prisms of cumulus rainbows, 

flashing through the eye of winter snow,

reflecting upon limbs and branches,

illuminating watery paths above and below,

a recipe made of hydrogen and oxygen,

metamorphosis beyond human ken,

in sound streaming, in heat dancing, 

or scattering in luminescent flow.

Far beyond reason or logic,

inspired by these miracles,

we become trained to see with other eyes: 

smaller worlds that dwell enlightened:

tree roots wriggling in shimmering growth,

caravans of ants as they scurry to bring food,

flowers in unencumbered rest far beneath the sparkle,

new life about to emerge from joyful winter dens.

Taking this wild journey in the woods,

shimmering insight burns away dross

radiant within the light that imbibes us:

in optical duality, in mirrors upon mirrors 

our inner blaze transforming,

listening to the speed of creations’ flashes,

to the scent of fire’s kindle, the taste of luminous fruit,

of healing love that light sustains.  

copyright © 2016 susan j mardinly 

For My Midlife Children at Mothers Day

I know I won't see you this year, so I will send the good wish to you here and  now.  

Best wishes and thank you for the gift of yourselves to my life for so many years of uninterrupted love and laughter, on easy days and not-so easy ones.  They can't take that away from me!  I learned that one very well - that there is triumph in every scenario that ever had good days to it , even if it ends, and even if it ends with difficulty !     As people realize that they must put it away and get on with things, right where they are today, there is, often by surprise, the "Great day in the morning!"    The good of the good days returns once the pain of separation is done and it is gold!    This was true of your Father's early passing and true of your empty-nesting.    I delight in it all !    Like found money, but better!    

This topic, "Children"  needs a separate blog.  Nothing is more important than survival and our children are its basic element.  I will make pages with  stories, linked from this one.

It seems just a moment ago that I saw my husband-to-be and both our children in my "mind's-eye", and  full or love and gratitude and commitment to them when they were the dream come true in my life.      And yet, they are born, raised , empty-nested, and now married and preparing for children of their own and I am glad I started young - it saved me when thing got "interesting".   They live distant from me, and  I miss them very much, but am able to be busy and happy in my own pathway.  

At this Mothers Day,   this one is a love-note for my own children and all those in  children's groups I was blessed to help in cultural enrichment, arts and crafts, swim club, junior olympics,  BSA and GSA scouts,  and endless response in good moments and challenging ones - now with their own children and some grey hair.     Not possible!  

Smile, children:  I am still running around and coloring my hair down, senior fitness keeps me sparkly and wrinkle-fixers disappear them and lift the sags.
I am still "yours in a heartbeat" to talk all night long if you like, but nice to see you do not need much, and when there is the moment, you seem to figure it out just fine!

I am still so proud of you!

Stay young.  Growth to adulthood and decline to our passing are naturally  GRACEFUL  - with the human complications to keep it lively all along the timeline.

You have no right to say 'old' - that is the business of your life drive and  whatever you call the source of all life.

I still say, "Life is easy- pay attention"  We don't, you know, and then we claim "complications".

Encourage your aging parents to stay young.  In a minute that will be YOU needing to hear that one. And it can make a real difference.  Again , you have no right to age yourself - it's a sin.    No one has the right to undermine the life of another or of themselves.  

I see that my aging is arriving almost 20 years later than it did for my parents - thanks to my parents, in many of its specifics - health, fitness, money, creativity, spirituality, and personal powers.  My thoughts are satisfying - I have not ruled the world, so far, but put my hand to all I could do and I have done some things really well, so far, and have the drive to do more. Choose the good things for health and energy and ...yes...laughter and love are still the best!

See the miracles at later life - some things are forbidden by youth in its passions, and obligations and immaturities , but they get golden later in life.   Since we are able to enjoy much better health, for many more years,  we can do more.   Factoid:  Each year more are living to be one hundred years old, and that fact makes us realize that retiring from things too soon is unwise and even silly.  Picture you in a rocker in a corner at 40-something, and STAYING like that for sixty more  years. Silly.

At "upper midlife" you and I may be doing the best life ever, making the most money, and enjoying new things beyond our earlier dreams.      
Whether that be for a day or for many years to come:  never think "old".  

For all things, there is a time to pass, and when it is my time,  I pray  that I can co-operate to make a fine day of it, for all involved.  I want To leave with a blessing, not a curse, with loved ones near for a moment and then on again - love empowers.   

 "Love is a Freedom Song" 

The Mommy Stories will be here as links to entertain you and some password protected , to protect the privacy, and keep it "entre nous" - you know who you are - find me for the password......elle

Easter Alleluja !

 like ours from those days and so charming!

Best wishes for Easter / Spring 2017

O Radiant Dawn!     Splendor of Eternal Life!    Sun of Justice!     Shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of Death !       - I love this one of the famous  "O Antiphons" - my favorite.

Easter falls on the first Sunday after the first Full Moon after the Vernal or Spring Equinox - to keep it in tune with nature and with Source of all nature, however you exprience it.  Spring is a miracle, but can be capricious and laughs, as it defies Man's attempts at structure - with a blizzard and a record high in the first thirty days of this year's season in America's Northeast.

I love my present life and I believe it is powerful to visit the past and bring some of the best of it to the present and share it round for the future - a treasure to leave my busy children to enjoy later, when they like.  And so this memory for you.

There had been grand life energies in my parents' large families that triumphed over wars, recession and even death.  And having endure they truly rejoiced at " the Radiant Dawn"; they enjoyed in those years: beauty , love, prosperity, property, good work, love marriage and children - they sang and danced through their days and helped the others and were helped as life calls us to do.  

 And , oh, the holidays!   It did not take much money to make it the best and done with youth and energy and hearts full of love and gratitude, they seemed always ambitious to share the good glow!   I grew up thinking everyone did the same and many did.  Hundreds of cards at Christmas and visits that took till New Years to complete.  Gifts and cozy warm things and fun in the snow and all tucked up safe and sound in work and love.

And Easter brought the same wonderful feelings, although , until I was older, I remember finding the Birth of a Baby easier to understand than Redemption and Resurrection -  my own shortfall did not daunt me - and I  just enjoyed the renewal of the seasons - Spring!     

Mornings smelled alive with new life and the wonderful New England soil - as soon as I could, I planted my first little garden and aunties and uncles smiled an told me lots about flowers and trees, so I would know a bit about what I was doing - they liked my many questions.  And later the fun of sketching and painting them - and making photos with my own first camera. Yes.

My Dad was musical and a tecchie - his record collection would be worth a small fortune today and some of it was saved, including the wonderful Easter music, still sung today - "Here comes Peter Cottontail!" , "Poor Floppy"  and others to make the days a happy dance.  

 There seemed to be Jellybeans and chickies and bunnies and Easter eggs everywhere!   The large sugar ones with hollow centers filled with dioramas to enoy thru a peep window at one end!   For me - already interested - there were Instructions for the crafts - coloring the eggs!  

Who would guess in in 1957 that that one day one fancy egg of mine would be viewed by a First Lady of the United States of America at the White House - but my happy heart on the subject is a fine thing to enjoy - a thing that no one can daunt.    I see the proud faces of my relatives, though I lived distant from them at the time and joyful phone calls had to be enough.  

It was the delight in doing up the simple little happy colored eggs that inspired and the Mommies who showed us how it was done.  Boiled and colored and served to many guests with the fancy beets and horseradish sauce that won over the flatness of egg and brought bright pink to the table, with the Easter ham, and irish bread and Polish borscht for spring with the special spring sausage!  The kitchen was boiled to shining before, during and after - and even Mother's new range was pink with pushbuttons!  

Then, since it was all about Jesus somehow - and very sad, but then happy again - we would take some of the food in a basket to church for the Priests' blessings, so that all from the kitchen would be good and blessed, and always with new happiness, too!  

And Spring meant putting the winter things away - all the fine and not so fine would be done till after Autumn when the weather chilled again.   For now it was Spring and joyfully running about with Mother and friends for the gay spring things for home and wardrobe - plenty of the light wools  often in lilac - including the lilac blossom-clustered hats that were popular at the time.  We love to look our best and win the respect of the women and the  affections charming our men - then and now!

Such happy bustle and  prayer at end of day - thanking God for the good grace!  Odd -  somehow my own love and work does not feel the same as those endless glowing days as a child in that world. And  yet,  I know I did similarly with  our own son and daughter later on with extra to spare for all the other children near us, so grateful to have that example to pass on.  They are married and I hope they will want to make their own version of it all to share with children of their own, but if not, at least they have that good in them from us.

Those bunnies!   Chocolate ones in pretty baskets woven and full of fun green grass and cellophane - or bunny cakes or the wonderful huggy ones, small and huge later on for fun!  But most of all , one year there were real bunnies, as we scampered at our parents' call one Easter morning to enjoy the living room egg hunt before church - out from behind Dad's lounge chair they came, to make us catch our breath - the thrill!   "Lippety, lippety !   lippety, lippety !"  two tiny marvels  to pet and feed and love.   Soon we had proper  lessons in their care and Dad built a hutch in the back yard for them and finally trained them to enjoy the back yard and then on their own in our wooded yard with brook nearby.  

And someone's baby bunnies showed up the next year!  I share the story to share pure pleasure and inspiration. All these years later, I remember and it feeds me - a life thing!   Not only our own family circle but Easter at the homes of friends and family living distant dance again in my mind - one did the ancient egg crafting with the waxes and dyes.  Another did up an Easter Egg Tree, and another lived in the garden feeding the lilacs and planting for the warm months to come.   And instead of a teddy bear, a musical stuffed lamb was mine - of real sheeps wool - I was sad to outgrow him but at that point someone "disappeared" him and yet I guessed it was time.  Growing up is fun and we must not be babies. 

Especially not at Easter !  
The Church music and Handel's Halleluja Chorus or Leonard Cohen's  -  the world sings - the air sings with rains and breezes and our hearts sing, every time we're not looking , especially!  

Winter and War may have their way - but I am Spring and I win!  

May it be, for you and yours always.
If you would like to share a thing here, please feel welcome.   

Happy Easter!



 

Safety and Escape Technology - Planes & buildings

January 2017  The New  President just said,   "We will make America safe again" "We will support innovation" ...we can do better than that and nearly now.    Since America's Bicentennial, it has been possible to end the deaths from plane crashes and building collapses, like those on Nineleven.   The pods, and variations to help people to safety  have been possible for years and even practical and affordable.   And not done, due to earlier suppression of the project, in days when it was too far advanced an idea.

It is clear from my own "family of tecchies" research alone that  the nineleven deaths did not need to happen.  NONE of it.    I was there in the 1960s when the remedy was proposed and squelched due to UNreadiness, then later , undone, having been suppressed earlier,  and so people die every day who might have lived.    

The Technology:
For Buildings:  
We learned to our horror, on nineleven, that  escape in stairwells and elevators is suicide since both become chimneys in fire - and bodies piled in the death traps are possibly in the nightmares of those who could have prevented it.      Why won't they win their redemption?    It is easy to install pods , like elevator cars in the space between the inner and outer walls on even existing buildings.  In a fire or collapse scenario,  adequate number of the pods would be located on every floor and  eject out from the side of the building to take occupants to safe ground, powered by several possible means and sequenced so that they do not collide while descending, and skip the "chimney effect" of current escape paths.   This works for existing buildings and new construction.
For Aircraft - picture a bunch af grapes - the plane framework is the stemwork  of the grape bunch, and ejectable passenger and pilot cabins are the grapes.   In the event of failure of the plane for any reason, the cabins can be released like plucking a grape off the stem;  and land on sea or land.  The ejected cabins are equipped with GPS to aid rescuers.  The cabins are equipped also with food and first aid and communications to keep the occupants well till rescue arrives.  Due to the extensive design alterations for the planes, it would probably need to be done when an existing plane ages out and must be replaced. 

After nineleven, talking with the families of the victims, I was relieved to find that I was not alone in pursuing this path.   But with war at the top of the agenda, no one would listen to them ...even government reps hid behind the door when the grieving families visited. NOT the American Way of respect for these sorrowing people.

In spite of the fact that most third graders could understand the technology needed to make these upgrades, to which we have RIGHTS, as we have rights to life, we are told it cannot be done.  The thing for buildings is even cheap - easy - and could be in progress in a year.  The one for the planes of course, is harder. But it is surely the way and we can do it and should. NOW.

Please do a little research online on this topic and  you will see - then email your leaders to ACT - if I get comments here, I will make a petition to pass around online and off;   it is shameful that this issue has been so long neglected.  But we can win here and enjoy it!

---

Background explains why this cause is one of only a few to me and a serious action path:

1957 The Story Begins
My Mother Albina Filanowski Backiel Smith Duffy loved my Father Richard Charles Smith very much - their marriage was from heaven and three fine children later, and me eldest,  His Army Air Corps days behind him he was helping with early NASA coated fabrics projects at the DuPont plant his dad helped build, and his son would later Admin.   Friends and neighbors were aeronautic engineers and similar respected..pioneers in things - and noted ones.   Post WWII excitement was about life in a free world, in peacetime, and included designs for occupant safety and escape for planes and tall buildings!

I was a little girl and attracted to their table one day in the mid-1950s  because of their excited talk of the pods for easy escape in case of disaster and other methods to make planes and skyscrapers NOT deathtraps.    They smiled and encouraged my interest.    "Don't worry, littlegirl! " they said, "by the time you are grown up , it will be safe for all!"
" Wow! "...not really understanding, I was still impressed, and satisfied, I  jumped down and skipped away.

But Months later, when I wondered to my Mother what had become of the neat Planes project, "SHHHHH!!!" she warned, "NEVER bring it up to your Father - they tried and it did not go well. "   They were humiliated and said to be too far ahead of themselves, and now they are upset, so do not mention to him, okay?
Their ideas were NOT practical - tech was not ready and what COULD be done was much too expensive to be used effectively. The entire idea was squelched , EXCEPT for ejection seats for SOME jet pilots.     I was good and never brought it up again, as Mother asked, and worked to forget it , in fact -  with success.

---

2001 The Story Returns

Then it was NINELEVEN - that evening and living near Ground Zero in NYC,  from my patio, I saw the protective planes guarding the night, flying low overhead - A unique sight for many in a land that had not known attack  on home soil.    Grateful and secure, and they calmed me,  after the day's horrors,  and love of country filled my heart.

Back indoors to begin my supper, alone in my bungalow, suddenly overwhelmed, my head snapped back, legs caved in beneath me and I grabbed the kitchen counter, so as not to fall.
MEMORY of the sunny kitchen table meeting about safety escape returned , all at once!   And instantly the realization: NO ONE NEEDED TO DIE TODAY!  There could have been fast escape and no one dead...or nearly that.....it was too much!    A SECOND HORROR MOMENT there was for me that evening.

If I could have cried , I would have, but tears would not come!   To have that Occupant Safety and Escape Technology memory sweep over me like a tsunami, after 40 years, stunned.
It was a wild day for people, and  my rosary was nearby . I prayed for all of us and was silent....slept.

But The next day or soon after - I acted on that memory and understanding.    Out from my door, huge flags were everywhere, and the lame walked on the patriotic passions generated on that day.  I was one of them - injured and still disabled - truly lame.   My late husband would say of me "She walks on water" to make me smile and empower me in the touchy moment.  I felt him with me then.

• I told my neighbor chat friend - she looked at me.  " I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am with you."
•  The Sikorsky team that built the Helicopter and employed important friends and neighbors and sometimes, my DAD became United Technology.So, next, I told one of their former resource librarians, now at our library, a few blocks away - and very smart.   I went to her and told her my memory and  was heard with understanding and respect.  
• In the following days others joined the chat and they said, almost laughing ,  the classic  " you go...you go..." to the United Technologies Admin office 15 minutes away , in Hartford CT the state Capitol, and make them listen.
• I got to the lobby and was told to "go right up" - I looked at the receptionist in disbelief, UT is big and one respects - Did someone call ahead, to have me so easily received?    The receptionist  reassured me and said no one had called ahead  about me.....they were just that nice and ready to talk.
• But at that point  appeared the phantasmagoric feeling ....all alone in the middle of a vastness and suddenly realized they'd think me mad - and went home to collect better data and then return.    Still the nice reception encouraged, so I DID go home and get busy finding better data.
• I Made webpages and talked to people like M.I.T. for design ideas / options for the actual achievement -  and they were AWFUL....wiseguy remarks and more, but many who KNEW and could be respected SUPPORTED my passion for approaching leaders , at a better timing. 

---

2017  BETTER TIMING - and better yet, to come.  
The public fright is in line, the war maybe soon over and our new President Trump speaks specifically about supporting invention and regaining adequacy as a nation after the crippling expenses of recent history.  With the paranoia in line and a no-fault approach, this lifesaving upgrade may win for us all now!

Squelching and burying the Occupant Safety and Escape Technology Innovations back in the 50s- 60s, was so well done, that , later, in the 70s and later,  when it COULD have been done, for some reason, no one would DARE bring it up!   A very unpopular banner.   Even though it made the life/death difference for many thousands,  it was avoided.

My injuries were healing and my art going to the  White House took me away from this issue and its work had to be set aside as I regained a normal life again.    It was just as well:  the earlier work on the Occupant Safety project  had resulted in a consensus to WAIT  and then find the leaders and  say: "Okay , first the ideas were ahead of their time and squelched. Then it was 1976 and it could have been a jewel in the American Bicentennial crown , but NO.  It did not happen.  Then it was a recession and everyone was saying NO to everything.  

But  then it was too late - it was Nineleven and with no effective, safe, tech escape options, LOTS of people died . OUR people.  And nobody needed to die!
" But whattabout NOW? !" 

Many of the genius innovations upgrades are NOT even genius anymore....but safe, obtainable, and affordable to do.

... and yet they are not done.

Why?

When may they be done ?
There are so many different ways to do it easily and safely....and affordably, that I will not describe them here.  

With the new technology, NO one would be hurt and there is this amazing collateral benefit!
DEATH is the incentive for acts of terrorism.  But with the safety upgrades there would be no death and , therefore,  no incentive to terrorists.

IN the planes it's fancier technology,  but escape cabins with GPS, food and water and first aid could detach from a threatened plane and let the passengers escape IN the cabins, to land or sea , till help arrived.  It would also make bulwarks in the planes, or airships, as they were called in olden days.

THIS  ONE BANNER I COME BACK TO ALL THE TIME  - for me, it is not an option.
It never leaves me alone, due to my childhood experience and conscience and then the dramatic way it found me at nineleven.  

Thousands have needlessly died, but millions will be saved when this upgrade finally happens.  

I was a den mother, wife of honored corporate, employee of honored firms and redcross in wars....I am not an airhead.  

I was head of the class all through schools and passed another course top marks again just a few months ago. RESPECT ME.

AND PRAY  that one day, this idea touches the angels the right way, breaks thru to mankind and finally gets DONE

I promise to work to do my part in it as best I can.  I am not paid for this and so it changes my powers to act.     

But I will act and you can, too!    Response is welcome here.

elle

p.s. I mentioned above that I had made web pages - I did with better detailed supportive materials and images - but my old site of fourteen years was hacked a year ago and it was a LOT of work , setting up my art site at amazing Squarespace and my focus must be the artwork I sell to restore my finances, and donate.  So this page is okay but.....I will clean it up as I can and add correct images and CAREFUL materials - I plan to make the family "Sto lat!" - live one hundred years - mandate.   So do not go radical - I won't co-operate.

e.

Thanksgiving Notes 2016

Such sneaky kitties!  Going from Halloween wild fun, straight on to Christmas - skipping the "Thank You" in-between.    If you know when this began, it would be good to comment on it here.   BECAUSE skipping the Thank Yous can be dangerous:  if we fail to appreciate it, we'll lose it .  

Fortunately there are no one-way streets in this world, actually - so we can fix the places where we veer off the winning path.    

To start, we should restore the Thanksgiving season among us as the GOLDEN - not BLACK - time of year it is supposed to be.   GOLDEN FRIDAY, and no longer Black Friday  is just so much better in every way!   Healthier and more cheerful and less rotten greedlust.    I have heard a dozen explanations of why they chosethen name,  "Black Friday" for a day of joyful gift shopping for the coming winter holidays.

 I don't believe any of it -  Black Friday is straight from Mordor and like the evil powers in the dark days of Middle Earth, in "Lord of the Rings".  Black Friday reeks -  its emanations are insidious and folk do not realize the evil till it dominates and it begins to hurt - really hurt - and then they wail and yell.  I plan to begin an online petiton on this topic and more.  Comment here if it interests you.

The stock market is up, and we can all do our part to "Make America Great Again"  and it is easier than you think.  There is probably a good talk at your home, church or wlrkplace to get people thinking winning thinking again and then most can do a small thing that helps and support those whe are doing the bigstuff.

We have a long list of thanks to share this year!    Most conditions have improved and we can ACT again and appreciae teh good in our lives, plain and fancy!    We jump up in the morning and run to do our day and often there is not time to stop and appreciate, they say. NOW there is time and we should not skip the Thank yous.   The day comes when we hang our heads in sorrow and acceptance of our failures, but it does not need to be that way, so much.  

Look in the mirror and thank yourself, for at least aiming to NOT fail YOU.  Then look around you - your warm home in cold weather and AC for the hot days; full fridge, and shops for the bit of delicious healthy things and sinful treats as well.   People to share with  - to wave hello and big farewll and friends to work with and play with, and maybe if you are realllly blessed a special someone who makes it all effortless - to celebrate with now and remember later!  

We are free and healthy or cared for if we are not fit for the road race!  We seen the new problems of the new millennium but we are ready to go at them and win!  IN fact, with interplanetary and space and astral things evolving so, peace on earth is likely to become closer to a reality than ever, since we are likely to be TEAM EARTH in all the real ways that used to be science fiction.  

Thank you for this day to see these miracles and may we be worthy and quick and full of fun while at it...and full of thanks afterward!  

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hallowe'en Stories of a Sort

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Do not let the cheery pumpkins fool you - I have scary stories to share at Halloween at this true stories blog.  But should they be shared at all?  Grownup scary stories are not pretty. 

Mayborn, my life has been a blessing, and very normal;  these stories only a fraction of my generally happy life.   More -  these stories  enjoyed happy endings,  but I certainly do have my moments - and then I realize most folks do.

  Life is not "Trick or Treat" but Trick AND Treat ! 

A list of my scary stories - details on request - or maybe added here as possible, with lead in and outcomes included.

There is the story of why I am why there are child-guard caps.

• There is the story of life with no pulse at all, for varied reasons during the years at war. 
• There is the story of childbirth and not dying like two of the grammas doing it - just almost.
• There is the story of how a  woman's hair can stand on end, exactly like the "Little Rascals" movies, when her love dies suddenly at her feet
• There is the story of abandonment by loyals, and being harassed by new, completely inappropriate, spouse material, or none at all .
• There is the story of raids upon a grieving lady and her children for anything not tied down.
• There is the story of rescuing staff of noble personages in panic over the recession, staff being exploited to the point of slavery.
• There is the story of being exploited and left for dead in a shelter for two years.  And like Sherlock Holmes' famous cormorant story...the world isn't ready for it yet.
• There is the story of how these scary stories could not possibly have happened - but did, prudence notwithstanding. 
• There is the story of the destruction of fourteen years of honored online existence and the near-destruction of its business.
• There is the story for this year: attacked by a mix of stinging insects and stopped counting at over 55 bites  -  my main job was not screaming. 
• There is the story of wondering IF to tell such scary stories, knowing it might bring the reprisals we are guaranteed cannot happen in America. 
• There is the story that there is not a "thirty million dollars" in my bank account for fair compensations for the clear malfeasances.  Oh yes..that, to this proud American is the worst, the scariest!  
• There is the story of the "Troop Beverly Hills" moments, when the nail polish error cost negative impact to the entire integumentary system....and stuff like that.

And yet... to tell these truly terrifying stories effectively, I'd need to be paid enough for the spa afterward to make repairs from the angst, and a nice retainer for the right attorney to protect me.

Would it only insult what is otherwise the most wonderful Golden Autumn Day full of pumpkins, friends, good work  and the Autumn Art Shows under way and me able to be part of it all?

 Would it help or hurt the honeymoon with  my new Mac and being able to run again and dance and drive after spinal injury and earning the cash for the car with fine artwork I am able to do?  

 Would I win my justice or undo my happiness?

SOME of it I must pursue and win, or be remiss.  Some is hopeless and timed out.  Some of it stays as a thing to peck at and eventually resolve. One point may need very hard work to win through...and risk...and danger of only creating another scary story to survive.

What do you think? 

Scary, no? 

Happy Halloween!

Elle

Golden Autumn !

I think I am lucky - raised well with "the good lights" and a family who passed on their love of nature and life in all forms - here it is Autumn and the time of Harvest and taking stock, and being sure that all is set safely till Spring.   Winter in Connecticut can be grand and a fairy treat,  sparkling with cold or a long dreary trek, but Autumn if done well,  makes all the difference. 

Envisionfest in Hartford started it with in mid-September - the marking of the Golden Harvest time and Community and wild Autumn color and last chance to absorb warm fresh air and sunshine!  Now,  Halloween and maybe even voting and the Watercolor Society submission time - famous golden birthdays as golden and fine as the dazzling show of New England Autumn foliage . There IS something in the fallen leaves that heals something - I am sure of it. Who will discover what it is?

Bobbing for apples at the Grange Fair still happens here.   Spooky stories for all ages and Pumpkin everything!  YES!  Autumn!   Autumn - you can feel it put something inTO you to hold till Spring - like a loving parent chasing after a wiggly child with a warm jacket as he flies out into the  weather not wishing to bother.  

Autumn!  Walking the Manchester Road Race - Unless you are an internaiton running champ - many are there - it's  no big deal -just under 5 K. But if they told you you'd be in a wheelchair and you were walking in the wonderful sunshine and colors and breezes - YES.  Mirth on Earth!

Autumn!  = Yes I CAN!   I can recall the lovely Spring, the dazzling Summer and do just fine even if the Winter ahead brings more that some pretty snow and Holidays!  

Autumn!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month -

"Healthy Choices" - water, fruits and veggies and grains  prevent and heal cancers.

Today the testing is easy and liberally covered by insurances and almost required, because it saves lives, and that might have included mine in 2009 - but did NOT.  And my happiness and insights made it necessary for me get active about helping with Awareness every October and I love it!  It's an honor to share the good news we enjoy toay - IF.....

The story:   Funny testing showed a mass that did not go away and discomfort.  Biopsy was scheduled for a few weeks later and I thought to detox my diet, and get some extra rest and exercise and drink the water to help the biopsy to heal fast.

The day came, and my daughter there to drive me home and I was impressed with my doctors imaging staff - "you take a lot of pictures, to be sure you have the latest image on hand ! "    

The smiled: " no - it's not that.  We cannot find it. It was significant - it was there,  and now it is not - we will try with an image details magnifier, but it's not there, so far."   The added images revealed the mass was gone!   

I was sent to sit with my daughter and, a few moments later,  the doctor strode out grinning from ear to ear!  "What did you DO?"    I was in shock ... happy shock..." Nothing...just detox-ed, to empower the healing from the biopsy! "   He grinned again and said - "you are fine - go home - and whatever you did...keep doing it. Come back if you need to, and don't miss mammograms each year."  

We danced out the door hugging and blessed!   Soon after,  there was the invitation to use my art to tell the story - good ways make miracles re: breast cancer and the result was part of a show that travelled for over a year and  "Healthy Choices" is here for your viewing and purchase.

Visions happen

No one believes me, and when they do, they never approve - they feel uncomfortable and sometimes, so do I, but it is time to share the memory anyway.    

Mind's eye - with happy parents and romantic ones, and seven Irish Uncles on Dad's side, I was bound to be a bit fey.  NOT always happily as when I'd find "The Merry Widow Waltz" strangely appealing - my Father said " you peeked" - looking into your own future.  The idea that I would probably be a widow if statistics held, but not necessarily so unhappy....things like that make it difficult to share sometimes.

But it is easier to share this part of the true story:  dreaming in odd moments ,as girls do, about my handsome prince to come one day, and learning the lessons with enthusiasm and happiness, only some of the lessons were needed for running outdoors to capture a flower in the watercolors.  But on one day in May, almost too warm already, there was urgency - I'd spotted the bright blue Bachelors' Buttons but knew they'd be wilting unless I got there in time to make the painting to save and share.   

Out I ran and began, but only a few minutes into the happy task, I stopped and looked up- the sun was a bit warm and dreamy for a minute and there he was -  like that silly teletubbies introduction or a holy thing - the face of my beloved-to-be, and no doubt about it.   His hair not brown and yet not really blonde, not straight but not curly , full and handsome;   the smile aimed right at me, caught my breath; the wonderful eyes not blue, not brown, but grey and green and with flecks of gold and one with mine for the unswerving path -then and always.   

I dropped my paints and decided I'd captured enough and ran indoors, and opened my mouth to tell my Mother and could not - it was mine - ours - ours, from that moment on. 

And I was focused, and able to concentrate more on things I might need to NOT fail him.  But the painting went on and soon it was December and the most wonderful blizzard - I was secure in my strong and beautiful parents- not afraid of strong weather, but ran TO it, and when I saw that the intensity of the blizzard was so dense the the colortrick was happening in the sky, I grabbed the paints and ran out into it to capture it - white sun with a golden halo all around and one more gasp as I saw our son - yes!  White son/ yellow sky indeed!   This time, maybe it was the cold, but I dropped it and ran indoors a bit shivery and said nothing again. 

Then it was more work and end of grammar school and I'd studied and won the spot I wanted in the private high school and it was day one of Latin one - "amo, amas, amat..." and at "amanda = she must be loved " I froze again - and suddenly "oh....I have a little girl, too ....and her name is Amanda and  she is my tiny jewel! " 

And then soon it was art at the college, drafted from my highschool to do some and a dance to celebrate the project and my tummy ill with dread at dancetime and my friends staring at me with that look. Yikes - what IS it?  

And so it began - he found me laughing in good heart and asked me to dance - both of us stunned and thrilled and sure - he'd seen me and the one I saw back was the he I'd seen that spring painting the bachelors' buttons.  And we stayed that merry till his sudden and early death after only 17 years, but it was seventeen amazing years, I realize more and more and I am glad I peeked and saw my happiness and lived it, whether anyone thinks it more than madness or not.

There have been visions since, but baptized and educated, I do not really encourage them - worry about losing a happy reality.    And with my subsequent redcross works,  sometimes the visions were  frightening and sad.   Once ...only once I was able to prevent a disaster, so okay, there was good in that one.   Usually not, though.    But,  still I am glad for the power and joy in life those early one brought and forever delighted and grateful and healed.

September is Aneurysm Awareness Month!

Summer 2016 marked the 35th anniversary of the year that Aneurysm issues hit home and changed our lives forever!   When suddenly widowed to the "Time Bomb In the Brain",  there was not much we could have done to prevent it.  NOTTANYMORE!  Share the message to any you know who may be at risk for it: Get the Tests!  They save lives.....and enjoy this post and comment as you like - find me as needed - I am here for this one.....elle.

TAAF is located near the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco California USA, site of the latest TAAF Walk May 2016

SITEWIDE EVENT !   held over for one more week!  Read the full story that follows here:

50/50 with TAAF to advance Aneurysm Awareness and Research.   TWO ways to do it, depending on who gets the tax deduction for the donation:

1. Enjoy the Art     Use the TAAF code at checkout. When I receive your payment, I forward the donation to TAAF. You get:  a copy of the receipt, to show the money went to TAAF, and the Artwork to show and share and gift or donate - and the nice feeling of having helped.  I get the deduction.  ORRRR
2. First donate to TAAFonline.org  , find your artwork, then send a copy of your donation receipt  and the name of the artwork you wish to purchase to the artist <ellefaganart@icloud.com> and you will receive a reply with YOUR unique promo code to apply when you checkout at your leisure.  You get the art, the deduction for your taxes and the nice feeling of having helped save lives. 

 - Contact the artist with your questions or comments.

September is Aneurysm Awareness Month!   Use the Code TAAF and Elle Fagan Art will forward half your purchase price to TAAF from September 25th to September 30th.  

MODERN, COMFORTABLE  IMAGING CAN FIND AND FIX AN ANEURYSM BEFORE IT FIXES YOU - GET THE TESTS!    If there is history or hint of it, in your family - DO get the tests!

TAAF is the The Aneurysm and Arteriovenous Malformation Foundation -

the group is new because, until modern imaging could find and help fix them, one often did not know that the aneurysm was there until the autopsy.   The miracle breakthrough is just a beginning, though. Funds are needed to continue research to repair and prevent aneurysms, and improve public awareness of this killer, and all the great ways to win over it.     We are doing wonderful "Art With Heart" things this month...watch for more!

TAAFonline.org for more or contact me.

 "Why Elle Fagan Art for it? "

  I have sent these  California Poppies paintings - via my "Art With Heart" functions, to be auctioned at the events this May in San Francisco, and will do one here in Connecticut this fall and more.  A longtime dream to help these people who save my children, though saving their Dad was not possible!    Today we can ID and fix this killer - aneurysm. Please help.

  The story:

Aneurysm is a particularly insidious thing - a spot in a blood vessel that is thin or weak encourages the blood to create a bubble or sac in that vein and, as time passes, blood pressure can continue to worsen the sac until the right stress ruptures it.   Depending on its location it may be fixable or not.   Worse, the progress is good, but only possible since relatively-recent  imaging methods spot it and diagnose it accurately and allow intelligent repair. See the links at the foot of this entry for more.

But Aneurysm is particularly hideous because it is one of the sudden death causes  - and the collateral damage, to loved ones and normal life and powers is a thing to fear. 

I am telling my story to show what happens in the life and to provide impetus for money for  work for the prevention and treatment of aneurysm.

Read on - it's not too long.

"For the love of Peter?"  I'd seen him in my mind's eye at first blush of puberty. Like a vision his face - smiling eyes, almost-blonde hair and wonderful way, loving me - the face "just appeared"  outdoors on a sunny early summer day,  painting the bachelor's buttons, of all things!  Soon after, our son and daughter appeared as well, similarly ... the twinkle in their Father's eye made real?   I don't know but it WAS.  I had not read Tolkien yet...but it was not  much different from Arwen's vision of her own husband and son...but my Dad was jollier than her Elrond about it all.

I worked and studied and prayed for the right work and love and marriage and got to the dances with every detail correct, just in case HE was there.  And one night he WAS - my vision made real, in focus - asking me to dance -  and we were instantly a pair and unbreakably happy, with great work and love and our own two children made real, with doors open for all the rest.   "Nary a cross work spoken" , and old Irish myth? Not in our case - really blessed.

The children's  teen years had begun and so there were "Freaky Fridays" at home sometimes, and upgrades in everything in progress,  to make sure their universe unfolded as it should. They were wonderful children, gifted and yet fun and happy and lively.   Not once was there lack of good mornings or a kiss on the way out the door and home again was always a happy journey.

... until THAT morning.    

We laughed at his headache after too many trips on the roller coaster, on a vacation funday, visiting Grandma in Florida, but it got worse,  and,  reminding me that he could sleep through anything,  he promised to run over to the hospital for tests if it was not better by morning.

Morning was too late - ten steps to the bathroom after a kiss upon arising, and then the thud as he hit the floor.  That was it.  

I had my redcross things and could tell he was gone, but 911 did their best and life support and doctors did try, too.  But a week later his mighty heart quit, just as the famous "afternoon monsoon" of Florida summertime opened up the sky and poured rain, and our children and I hugged with Mother and Godmother in pathetic submission, to comfort one another the only thing.  

 Horrible rupture of a Sacular or Berry Aneurysm.  Why they call it a berry, I'll never know - much too lovely a name for such a nightmare thing. Details at the TAAF site click here.

The odd thing was that my late husband had the best medical care on earth and if he'd "lucked out" for a few more years, the great testing he got at annual physicals would have found the cause of "that headache" he'd suffered from time to time all his life;  and the great medical care we enjoyed would have fixed it.  

But,  at the time of my husband's death, the only tests to try to diagnose an intracranial issue stood a great chance of rupturing the thing and so were rarely administered.   

Our home was full of love, great with church, school, fitness and civic work and full of fine fun and laughter -  sun blessed - then, suddenly we were three patients!  No one dies at 39 and me 34 , and our children 13 and 11.  

Pathetic, indeed.  

I had curled hair and lost speech;

our daughter some worse reactions , also silence and white hair streaks,

our son found his Father's Army Jacket and went to war with an invisible enemy - his grief.  

It was sixty days before our basic physical functions were reliably normal.  

I had been gifted in school, and so were our children, but of course, their grades plummeted for a bit, but their behavior was grand!  

We had teamed for lots of fun projects before and now those projects seemed like a rehearsal for the real show we were developing now.     Rehearsals help:  we soon found lots of neat creative things that WON.  It is a fight, confronting with grief, and choosing the busyandhappy normal way, moment by moment for a bit. I will never be prouder of those two than I was then.... but then we had to individuate to clean it all up, or cripple ourselves.   It worked, too,  but with a very sharp pinch at the time. 

I needed to KNOW - always.   So I continued my research on the topic and when a pro was annoyed by questions, I simply found a different one.   The recession had hit our money and tht changed our powers a lot. Still we kept the eye on the prize and simply adjusted the path for it, as needed.   And my research continued with greater ease thanks to computers opening up  a world of links for it all!  

 The idea is to diagnose and treat an aneurysm BEFORE it can rupture...too late later, depending on its location in the body.  When my husband died from rupture there were almost no safe tests to diagnose and prevent rupture.   But his children fare better.  Today the testing is available almost everywhere and affordably.  

The day our children's tests came thru "asymptomatic" was the day indeed!   I thought I had "me" in hand on the topic, but the relief I experienced at that goodnews moment told me otherwise.  I got some of my own health back that day.

Do not make light of head things. Get the tests.  Thank you Dr. Gary Steinburg at Stanford University Med Center  HIs work was chronicled in a junk paper at the cash register and left on the kitchen table,  by my godfather, at our old family homestead. Visiting I was tidying up and found it by chance, after a LOT of futility in independent research on the subject.  God is NOT dead....I keep Him busy.

It was a lot of praying, jogging, getting educated, being patient for the places that only heal with the  tyrant, time.   

I am fine and busy and recouped from a second slam at my health from an accident,  and more or less wrinkle free - thanks to the Angels - real and otherwise, in my life who helped win the recovery.  

The healing done and strength regained, The children ar married and me next maybe.  Over twenty years to be off the grief-shock list, healed from the remaining sorrow and able and interested in remarriage.  From so close a marriage, I knew the healing path would be "long form" and not "short form" work.  FROM ONE MOMENT - one ruptured spot in one blood vessel.

And by the time I was done researching aneurysms and grief recovery for us,  I was chatting the gurus on the subject and articles like this from me appeared thanks to heroes like Peggy Sweeney who work with those lost on the path to the "great day in the morning" when grief finally quits and slithers off somewhere.

I am crazyproud of the children's way in it even today - 30 years later - with grades and health and success and weddings  and laughter recaptured, even over additional damage from the recession to our money and socially stable path.  We are not as casually chummy and I hope their happy marriages help fix that, but we are all well and thriving and ambitious to pass on the great good.  

I found TAAFonline.org fundraising and awareness-raising for Aneurysm Triumph, some years ago and so happy to be doing it with them now.    Please at least pass on the url, or give online or take advantage of my own gifting at my site. The banner at page top tells you the code to enter at checkout for it.   

 It all helps. I also donate throough Amazon Smile for it. It's easy - you can too...takes one minute to opt for your purchase to allow Amazon to give to your cause.  

Thanksomuch for reading this blog post and story. Do visit the event site and help if you can.  And if you want to help my September 50/50 Fundraiser in Hartford, do find me. Gathering a team.

11th Annual Aneurysm and AVM Awareness Walk  

- click here for details! - read on to learn.  

The images that follow are my artwork auctioned off at the event in California - its golden poppies.

Elle

Envisionfest!

5th Annual ENVISIONFEST SEPTEMBER 17th Downtown Hartford,  Connecticut USA !  A good time was had by all! Color, music, art, dancing, games, food and fun for a fine show of folk celebrating Golden Autumn!

update   Fun on Bushnell Park, at ENVISIONSFEST, Saturday September 17th -  see my panoramic sketch of visitors in a sketch of the Golden Autumn!   - SOON!

ENVISIONFEST - Hartford's Annual Celebration of Family Lights in the glow of the Golden Capitol Dome. At  Bushnell Park, with its green lawns, Koi Pond and Fountain and historic landmarks all around, Color explodes with hot air balloons, 20-foot walking puppets in multi-colors, loving the children and their parents - borrow a child and let them befriend you - five kinds of music - walking jazz band  - rock - folk and more!  And tents and displays of arts and crafts for browsing and buying - and the wonderful ICE CREAM and other food treats!  The Weather co-operated and the day, the place, the displays and most of all the people - glowing with celebration of golden autumn and shoring up the glow to last all winter!

Because the 12x48 panoramic sketch I did that day is nice and I am still doing finishing touches on it...I promise to post it ASAP....e. Watch for this even next year ! Super experience - all God's children running about the golden park in the golden autumn sharing color and life and treats and so much more!  ...elle

...and I will be there  ENVISIONFEST is a lovely celebration of it all - Please come and find me! I will be there making large art!     Click for details on time and place.....Golden Autumn!  ..... elle