"The Goodstuff" - V.P.Fagan, Jr. feb 6
My late husband was literally a dream come true. I saw him in my minds eye one day and was committed to him from that moment on. When we met, I seemed to win the same response from him. Never a qualm, we paired better than APPLE peripherals and did well till his passing. I have that memory as food and fuel and glow and giggles and goodness in every way even when all else fails, like my angel.
He had a wonderful heart and soul and was a fine match for me - like me, he loved the serious work, so , no matter pressing he could be found always with a happy disposition about it. “The Goodstuff” was one of his favorited catchphrases when were young. In college days, he felt it spoke volumes:
My late husband was literally a dream come true. I saw him in my minds eye one day and was committed to him from that moment on. When we met, I seemed to win the same response from him. Never a qualm, we paired better than APPLE peripherals and did well till his passing. I have that memory as food and fuel and glow and giggles and goodness in every way even when all else fails, like my angel.
He had a wonderful heart and soul and was a fine match for me - like me, he loved the serious work, so , no matter pressing he could be found always with a happy disposition about it. “The Goodstuff” was one of his favorited catchphrases when were young. In college days, he felt it spoke volumes:
Growing up in Connecticut - the goodstuff state above all.
The wonderful schools teaching "the Good Stuff" well and happily.
Then living a few "else-wheres" - the Good Stuff was put to very Good Use.
We liked, at day’s end, to survey our life and its trappings and its people - yessss the goodstuff we were making was taking hold and doing a nice job for life.
And we did not defer from Celebrating the rewards won by proper application of the Good Stuff in every scenario!
"The Right Stuff" about early super-aero and NASA breakthroughs, was similar. But it was more than fanship - he used it a lot: according to him, The Good Stuff was a classification and praise from the heart - for his people, his class, his scouts, his USACE/Black Diamonds team, his Wellcome team, the good wine and good friends, at a good table, and ...me.
But it was later that the importance of “the Good Stuff” was made clear:
when widowed way too young with two teens at home and the recession of the 80s destroying our money more violently than I could win over, in a broken-hearted state, and scrabbling about to help the children thru to their majority, anyway, without harm to them, at least.
Lost without him, but filled with the years of “The good stuff” created together, the the children and I achieved fine recovery!
In later scenarios, we were able to be saved over and over, remembering “the Good Stuff” from parents, teachers and friends and most of all , our fallen hero.
And once again it is Time to share “The Good Stuff” and make plenty for colder days ahead.
And this Valentines Day I remember him in my life and whisper , “ Peter you ARE the Good Stuff” !
Lucky me…..you have similar stories or sentiments - NOW is the time to share them….Share them here or among your own, but do not remain silent till it’s too late!
Comment welcome.
E.
The Saga of Rick-Pa-Tick - feb 8
A poem to my only brother Richard Charles Augustine Smith - "Rick" - on his day - created 1995
Catch the meter and let it flow along quickly or it's too long and no fun:
The Saga of Rick-Pa-Tick
The newscast promised terrorism, as we planned to end our schism,
air flight bringing Rick-pa-tick to brighten February!
So, I, tonight instead of sleep, With snowfall lovely, cold and deep,
write of him upon a whim - the concept's much less scary!
February 8, 2016 - A poem to my only brother Richard Charles Augustine Smith - "Rick" - on his day - created 1995
Catch the meter and let it flow along quickly or it's too long and no fun:
The Saga of Rick-Pa-Tick
The newscast promised terrorism, as we planned to end our schism,
air flight bringing Rick-pa-tick to brighten February!
So, I, tonight instead of sleep, With snowfall lovely, cold and deep,
write of him upon a whim - the concept's much less scary!
The odds, you see, still favor me: His plane will not be hijacked
Besides, I think the badguy would be more than likely ransacked.
If Rick -pa-tick is on the plane, The badguys better run!
My Brother was a Red Beret, he'd " take 'em out" for fun!
In fact, he'd make a super spy, Though tall, his looks are affable;
At midlife, showed them off for cash, la! la! - so photographable!
This visit, soon, would be the first, since his move out West
I dreamed and planned as best I could to make it 'just the BEST' !
Since I was only two years old, when brother Rick-pa-tick was born,
First memories are hazy ones, how are such nicknames worn?
Still, as a babe, he still was born the classic-type Aquarius,
Whose sneeze became high fevers till the whole house was precarious.
His soul was kind and loving, and I liked his friendship bright.
"BigSis" a favorite role for me: to help would bring delight!
Somehow, we never seemed to grouse or fight with one another,
but shared the grand adventure life delivered, with no bother.
Hmmmmm.......I am sorry, readers, dears - that's not EXACTLY true:
There was that time we'd thrash and yell 'til hoarse and black-and -blue!
For that, our parents, horrified, soon offered boxing gloves
To keep the fighting fighting and the loving, loves.
It worked like magic, on the spot, but not the way they thought:
Boxing gloves for at-home use left Rick and I distraught
We blushed and shuffled, full of shame for our bad behavior
That day, the local sports supply served as the family Savior!
And once, at cowboy game, Wild West the game we'd play.
Rick and Bill and Tommy playing "shoot'em up" that day
The awful accident occurred and "School Marm", ME, was slugged
Or the time that it was HE who certainly was mugged:
My 3" heels were by my bed, from which I would not wake -
"If you do not go away, your neck I'll surely break",
But my Brother, Rick-pa-tick, giggling, still would pester -
That 3" heel made quite a dent, but no, it did not fester.
But that was later
In his early childhood days, he gave the telling signs
And grew up true to destiny, ferocious, yet benign
All boys must be ferocious, or risk unhappy fate!
But February-ians are humantarians! Conflict to create!
His tastes were thought a bit outre, in re: the culinary -
Though "the white meat tale" is one he might prefer to bury.
A natural "vegan" long before the term itself was used,
His dietary prefs were such that left us all confused.
When two hours after dinner things were washed and put away
Our Rick-Pa-Tick was struggling - a thing just would not stay
When Mother checked her Rick, age four, the sight brought on her frown:
The meat, gone white from gnawing, in his mouth, not taken down.
Another day, mid-morning, "Oh! Rick's whereabouts!"
No search-success, then true distress, and full of anxious doubts.
When, from the kitchen cupboards came distinctly, sounds of crunching.
And Mother found him seated in the cupboard - dogfood-munching!
Milk Bone biscuits looked to him a perfect midday snack,
His teeth, today, are white for it, tho' Mother's jaw went slack!
Another day, 'twas I, at six, at play at "Mommy prep",
And with my friends we'd play "pretends" and do a dainty step.
If we were good, my best friend's Mom would treat us, in those days,
to real china dolly plates to practice teatime ways!
But blue-paint shiny tinny ones for mudpies served with pride,
Would make the day a sunny one, a party held outside!
"Come and have some mudpies, please! Look! They have red berries!"
And tea to drink as well, and so our party will be merry!"
And Rick-pa-tick, of course would be our guest our social "practice case",
And try the tea and mudpies, with a smile upon his face!
My friend and I thought "guys are cool" to be so dumb gallante!
To munch with glee, at offerings, that no one else would want!
All too soon, our Mother's call would mark the party's end,
But happily, since morning would begin it all again.
"Let's wash up for dinner, now, twin clown jammies neat!
And Father's singing, home from work, our table is complete."
But that was not the truth of it, with one more chair to fill,
A brand-new baby sister soon arrived, to fill the bill!
With sister AND a brother now, I had "the whole shebang"!
Three makes a corporation, and so the household sang !
And truly so, since now Tide Mill Equipment Service shone
Our brand new family enterprise; the house, next door, our own.
The real estate, our Mother's, first, then parents' starter place,
No longer Rented out, but ours again, a grace.
We missed our friends on Redding Road, but made adjustments well
Work and school and new old friends gave happy tales tales to tell
And with Southport Harbor just a block away
This relocation not so bad - a dawn of brand new day!
"Rick, take your Father's lessons, and soon you'll be a man
For now, Scouts, Sports and mischiefing aplenty wis the plan."
Snowball fights, and front-porch fun with soap and hose for scrubbing
And comic antics imitating Dick Van Dyke , with dubbing!
HE may have been a "Banjo-eyes" and wiry, fragile boy,
Losing "Rassling" contests his brains not brawn the ploy
But His growth at teenage growth-spurt time is on the public record -
He used to trash his sandwiches, now gulped them double-deckered !
And not for fat. New height and power seemed to be his path !
His "Clark-Kent-into-Superman" gave all a joyful laugh !
At breakfast WE were banjo-eyed, when Rick's morning "needies"
Involved the 3-quart mixing bowls with most of all the Wheaties...
..."The Cheerios , the Lucky Charms, Shredded Wheat and Raisin Bran
And Mother eyes and mine agog, our Rick-pa-tick a Man !
Shall we call you Richard, now? or would you rather , Rich ?
He, Shuffling now , like Dick Van Dyke, resisting awkward itch !
We suffered such anxiety in his fragile days !
So now we asked his autograph, and sang "hip, hip, hoorays!"
Though war was looking for him, he golfed, ran, swam, ski-ed, fenced!
When grumpy teachers tried to tease, he no longer tense.
He just walked out the door on them and did his Army duty.
Again our household open-mouthed! Green/Red Beret a beauty!
Studied elsewhere, all these years and counsels what he learned.
Stay fit, eat smart, and share your heart, and life won't leave you burned !
This poem has just been updated by his big sis, Ellie
To celebrate his natal day - and skip the boring telly.
May you find the love and fun intended as I write
For history, this all-true tale, and so, my friends, goodnight!
Compassion & Intellect feb 20
Someone sent the card to me as an artshow ad, and it started my own thought on the subject of such a basic dichotomy. I took it off my postings board and began to carry it, then folded and glue-stick-ed it, so that it worked like flipping a coin. I left it in my wallet/datebook, loose, so that I could not predict which side would show itself to me in the course of a day. It has been a moment's help, over and over again. May you will find it useful, too!
FEBRUARY 2
Compassion & Intellect for this day of commemoration in my home state Connecticut, for the Sandy Hook slayings of children, and its aftermath.
Compassion & Intellect for this time of refugees and illegal aliens and transgender issues. My copy of the "coin" to flip stays on my desk or nearby - then I put it away for a while and bring it back out again and start over, with the clarity it brings and power to do better!
Someone sent the card to me as an artshow ad, and it started my own thought on the subject of such a basic dichotomy. I took it off my postings board and began to carry it, then folded and glue-stick-ed it, so that it worked like flipping a coin. I left it in my wallet/datebook, loose, so that I could not predict which side would show itself to me in the course of a day. It has been a moment's help, over and over again. May you will find it useful, too!
Instructions for use of Compassion & Intellect
Copy or Print Image from this page - to 8.5x11inch card or photo paper
Cut to make four cards, fold at midline, gluestick to make four double-thick cards
Use and share with friends - a basket of them on your desk is fun!
If you are handy, cut them in rounds to make a coin to flip, but not necessary.
NOTES ABOUT IT ALL AND A MISSION
It is odd to many people to try to understand martyrs and those who sacrifice. What intellect could take compassion to the lengths of the saints? Saint Damien the famous leper colony saint of Molokai Hawaii said , "I make myself a leper with the lepers, to gain all for Jesus Christ. " - Saint Damien Joseph de Veuster
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father_Damien#Canonization
It is interesting to note that his work came to the world at the same time as The Red Cross, and other international compassion projects reacting to the horrors of the American Civil War.
I am just an artist / redcrosslady / happy wife and later widow / happy mother now empty-nested I cry when I am asked to make ANY sacrifice - I like to make art, and cranberry sauce and happy days and nights - and everyone growing and thriving - and yet we all deal with the duality of the intellect / compassion balance and pray to make the right choices when it is our turn at it.
The Syrian refugee issue is top news today - and that is why this posting at the holidays. My plea for thought on this dynamic that rules this moment.
Or on this Sandy Hook Massacre memorial day - so many ways we could go when reminded of the children lost that day here in Connecticut and on other days in losses all over the world to mindless hate. We must act with compassion and intellect to gently but firmly at least keep our children safer.
Where is the conflict when it is clearly right
to secure the perimeter of a school
to recapture decency in every way in the school environment
to act to prevent repetition of murderous attacks of all kinds
to drop deadly force altogether, for effective modern technological ways?
to make the pods for ALL the planes not just a few VIPS?
to install the affordable, no-brainer elevator-car-like escape pods in the skyscrapers?
These tasks are key and it's been there to do and no one is even talking about it - not even after Sandy Hook or Nineleven, and the agony of the scores of those who are permanently marred by the loss of three thousand on that day because safety issues were NOT considered. Someone is stonewalling it - lobbies for those who would have to pay to get it done? It took me a total of maybe 4 hours to get my insurance company to pay for Silver Sneakers fitness subsidies in our county.....but no one will spend even that much time to send around notes and quick emails and work for fifteen minutes getting an online petition begun. Why, do you suppose? Hmmmmmmm.....and the Compassion/Intellect coin is handy again to have nearby.
We ARE at a funnyspot in evolution - we forget that so much of our goals were to secure the safety of the populace, always, in all leadership - the path for it changed and updated and we did not, so we are lost. But we can do it - it's not so difficult.
Happy Holiday and may both Compassion and Intellect in your level of healthy balance glow till next holiday! ...and lots of happy moments to empower our best work.
! Elle Smith Fagan December 14, 2015