Christmas Wedding

After the ceremoney at St.Anthony Fairfield CT - at Frederick's Reception also in Fairfield, CT 12-17-66

December 17th 1966 - years of longing, and work and learning and more work and finding the moment of love forever born and winning through to this day!

At least for our children, long ago grown and living distantly with fine work and loves of their own I will share this "part one" of THE story of how we met and married.  It was all so grand to us, and a gift of empowering love is their birthright!  

But that's another story. More will come.

Our Christmas wedding turned out to be the Army's idea, and a lovely one!  We were a 'love at first sight" pair - the happy result of long dreams and preparation and long prayed-for. We'd dated for nearly two years and we found it easy to talk about everything:  there were no impediments to a bright future together.  As often happens, once engaged,  the planned date of 1969 , worked perfectly at first - his end of service sync-ed with  my graduation from college - yes!    But "Plan A" had to be dropped due to illness and financial setbacks to some of the top players in our lives - not a worry! The wedding date was accelerated to December 17th, 1966 at Christmas leave.  Even better! This meant we could be together as Commissioned Officer and Officer's wife and I could help Red Cross.  Of course, we were in a time of changes for us - some of which were not of our making and not of our desiring. But overall, such things were not a major obstacle. We were fine and families and legalities were pleased with us -  happy.

I look back and think, "Gosh, we were brave!"   We all had fine schools and fine studies and yet we were young, untried, new at adult life in any form, and that day, soon all off to war, and war is death!     I remember the intense joy at our love and anguish for his survival in VietNam - competing for my emotions, love won that day.

We grew up on John Wayne patriotism and were sickened and undermined by the unpopularity of this war.  But, just for now, even death had only limited powers in the face of our love!  We knew we'd come "Shining through" and we did.  War presented  opportunities to serve one another AND our country and community and family, too.

 In addition to the war to threaten this time of love's commitments, Mother and Dad were dealing with health and money issues , but they were the best, and so, cooking up a wedding helped everything !  

This wedding  project development was doing profoundly well at doing good in all ways.

In Fairfield, all  brides were in heaven !   If you grew up there, for a golden time you owned the town!   A blessed girlhood was paying off with a very happy start into adulthood!  Wedding social and fashion and mores abounded! l Rules - there were rules and one could experience lots of desireable extras if one bothered to seek and follow them.

 Young marriage is not really recommended, but we were were fine for it and it worked and lasted happily and successfully.  There was plenty of excitement to whittle the few pounds off for a very classy look for the pictures!   Happy cheat!   Money, reception, gifts, engraved invitations, flowers, and the people we loved!    Wardrobe?   My beloved "Nanna" a friend of the family was a designer and we had serious fun with it and the shop keepers in the NYC garment district treated us like visiting royalty one afternoon, shopping for the wedding gown fabrics.

We made a nice picture in our wedding things - My double-brocaded satin and faux white mink Christmas wedding gown and his  elegant  USACE Officers Uniform: oh yes!  It was going to be nice.

The day:   Everyone had  gone on to the church but the bride hung back for the classic "moment" on the threshold of her Father's house and stepping out over it to adulthood and  new life,  with a prayer for continued love for God and Man - especially one man!  Her Man!  The noise of war tried to crowd out the sweetness of the day and I recall ,saying silently to the heavens, " OHHHH NO YOU DON"T - not this day!  This day is not yours - it is our day."    

Snapped out of my reverie by a horn blast from my "carriage" ,  they promised to be going on to the church without me, if I did not come along as Dad did, to escort to me to Godfather Uncle Bill's long white car,   laughing that I'd miss my own wedding!   "Here comes the Bride!" , they called, laughing merrily,  then turned solemn,  as we approached the Church. The lovely vigil snowfall I'd hoped for had created the pretty scene and cleared,  and now it was the cool and crisp but sunny day!  Everything with the sparkling white coverlet and me afraid to own up to my own delight in it.

As we entered, it was clear that the arrangements  were being carried out really well: work was well done: all was ready and lovely, especially the hearts!  There for me was the church I helped fundraise for, festooned with flowers and ribbons all along my path;  and the people filled the pews.  There was my bridal party on ahead of me: maid of honor/cousin Betty; a sister of the groom, Mary; a best friend, my sister  junior bridesmaid in her first gown, Lorraine,  and  my boss' six-year-old,  our flower girl little Sandy.  
Waiting at the altar the groomsmen were a handome show,  in the classic line of duty: groom's brother the Best man, John Francis, in Naval Uniform, who almost took over the wedding when his Navy ship was delayed in docking and he had to make a wild dash racing down the aisle,to take his place on time;  next, in Morning coat, my brother, Rick, on his way to a green beret then red;  then Denny, a fellow officer from the groom's OCS ;  and for my kid sister, my groom's kid brother Terry !  Some guys!  I can be proud of them all to this day, thank goodness!

 My Father, almost ashen with solemnity, escorted me down the aisle and passed my hand to my soulmate's keeping, so handsome in his newly-commissioned USACE officer's uniform - lucky me  !  

Our priest at the service was a personal friend to my father-in-law, who'd studied for the priesthood himself, early on, then turned to accounting and law and many babies.  The vows:  It was time.  And we were ready and we were fine.  The event itself seemed to go too quickly, after all that preparation!

 But with rings and a kiss and a blessing and a song, and a full church giving a cheer, we were one! 

The Reception at THE place for it that year was dizzy, with two hundred in attendance,  but went very well, and soon we were at the Bridal Suite at the Hotel Americana in New York for the wedding night, and plane to Bermuda  in the morning!   We were just so happy to be "US" , we  enjoyed the beauties of the "eye- lahnd" and our time alone so lovely!   And when the Blizzard of '66 gave us an entire extra week at the Airline's expense - oh yes -  grand fun to be stranded on an island with one's one true love! What better start  - thank you, saints and angels!

Even a blizzard will clear  after a week, but homecoming would now be on New Years Eve and more fun, and then off to Fort Knox a few days later.  But that's another story.  

My wish for my newlywed children ?  Quote from a top pop film at the time:  "Gidget" - her Grandmother in the movie points to the family motto:  "Don't say that Love has been a disappointment to you ~  Don't you be a disappointment to Love ! " 

...easy, once you get the idea  

e.

Advent Wreath Explained - for the children

Blessed Childhood, especially at Christmastime, included Advent Wreaths and Calendars.  Happily Married with children later,  it was easy to carry on such glowing customs and fill the house with all the good things in preparation for the Winter Holiday ! 

The Advent Wreath is perfect for homes with young children, and if candles are a safety issue, you can get non-flaming ones, but I simply stay alert - they are lit, honored and then extinguished, always with adults present.   And  soon the children are old enough and  can even help light them - adding the appreciation of the children's growth to the event -  it is all symbols!  

Advent, itself is a commemoration of the ages and ages that mankind was urged to wait in darkness, and worked hard finding bits of the light to prepare for the Coming of the Messaiah -  at Christmas, through our sharing of Him in Communion , to the Parousia, or Second Coming , yet to be !  

The Advent Wreath as we know it today was the creation of a Priest in 1839, to help deal with wiggly little ones, enthusiastic for the coming of Christmas.    

At our home for over 40 years now, this wonderful permanent brass wreath is brought out and shined, and sometimes we add some evergreen boughs around it.    Our home  in those years was a true Holly House, surrounded by the shrubs -  since we'd begun our married life with  a Christmas Wedding - and this one has bells for berries, and one of the leaves snuffs the candles afterward.   It supports the Four candles lit at the four Sundays of Advent, in  certain order and at every suppertime with prayer.    

The Stag at the center holds the CHRISTMAS CANDLE, and both are symbols of the Christ.  The Candle is always large enough to be lit each day thru the Christmas holidays until the Epiphany on January 6th. It is always white and the wick always "virgin" - never lit before Christmas.  The Stag is  also a Jesus symbol, especially among Irish since the stag will route the Irish archenemy, snakes - along with the Irish icon, Saint Patrick;  "the Deers's Cry" his famous Lorica, calls to the symbol of the Christ - the stag.  

The Irish French and Polish American culture is ours and so we chose the style to suit it.   So think and have fun choosing ones that symbolize YOUR family's way.   

Next, after some prayer for guidance for a moment, look online for a nice presentation of Advent Wreath Prayers and Liturgy. This one is from Loyala Press

Gather your family at some regular time - before , during or after the evening meal, and at the first week of Advent, light only one of the purple candles....second week two purple candles, third week is Gaudete Sunday and so the two purple candles are now joined by lighting the pink or rose one...then finally at the Fourth Week of Advent all four candles - three purple and one rose are lit, and each evening the candles and prayer are offered to prepare for Christmas.   JUBILANT - the four candles are now taken away and the one large White candle in the center Reigns - The Savior Christ is Born and we celebrate in prayer and song and gifts and treats and fun social events and fine foods and more....until January 6th when the candle is put away and we thank God for one more Lovely Winter Holiday and its bounty of the spirit to warm us till Spring!     

There is the feeling of immersion in the spirit of the Birth of the Messiah and a beautiful sense of family spirit growth and faith formation...no matter the faith. Such traditions help us to develop a very special sense of the spirit, of  personhood and quality of life.  

The Candle set is found at churches and at Amazon for very little cash - the large white one I always buy specially - this one is beeswax and elegant, but any good white candle is fine - also the large broad pillar candles that stand alone - all that is important is that it be white and never lit before.   So you will want to use it up at special moments thru the year, so it is all gone by next Advent season.   

Elle

p.s. the pedestal is mine and unique - not required;  you can probably do a search for wizard pedestal and find some like it...... but to me it is a holyman and passionately supportive spirit - like Gandalf, Tim Cook from Apple and all Wizards who uphold the best.  

I bought it on impulse and am not silly, so I looked at it , wondering what I was going to do with it and it has been busy ever since. Not always lit...but....When Advent is done the Christmas Tree takes its place. My apartment sized tree is a dazzler and takes tending and delights me and never dies from house heat before the holiday is done !    But the pedestal then  gets set to one side till the next holiday - soon displaying a fancy Valentine, then the Easter Egg display and later flags and pumpkins.     LIFE - it's about life - and please enjoy my wish for a Happy Holiday to you.

Krustiki - story and recipe

The Krustiki-making at Holidays!   The image is of the irons passed to me from my Mother, from her Polish-American Mother, and one day to my daughter. It's not just a treat - it's a statement of life and love.

As with many of the world's favorites, this treat is called by several names, & more than one country claims it for its own. In America today, we call them "Rosettes", and I also like the literal translation of krustiki, "little crusts" or cookies.

People refer to the collection of several other Polish cookies by the name, as well, including one that is also called Angel’s wings or one called Christmas babies. Photos follow here. Light, sweet, easy to make, although, our family favorite requires the “irons”, heated and dipped into batter and fastfried, and sugar-dusted, like those in the photo at left, often passed down through the generations.

Whatever the name, they are special!

The story through the years:

I ~ Krustiki ~ 1956          In childhood, I loved school - both the ones at Greenfield Hill  and beloved Saint Anthony's, which was not just school, but  generations after it was founded to help Polish-Americans learn perfect English and "be good Americans", the Saint Anthony’s Polish-American experience was a fine opportunity to learn and pass on my Mother's cultural favorites, as well. 

At Holidays , especially, I spent many happy hours, with the older women, learning and sharing the rituals, like the making of the delicate "Krustiki", meaning "Little Crusts".   Today, proudly, the stars,flowers & rounds are still made privately, in very special groups. 

The krustiki irons, passed on through generations of women, are brought out from wrappings, cleaned, attached to their handles, and set into pans of hot oil to heat. When all is ready, the hot iron forms are dipped in batter and oil till crisp - then cooled and dusted with confectioners sugar,  and the result is exciting!  Crispy, yet tender light and melt-in-the-mouth sweet and yet not too fattening. Oh yes! they were, and still are, a delight!  Such fun and then the irons carefully cleaned , oiled and wrapped and put away for the next time.  A worthy afternoon for a young girl - Strong, nice, kind, and perpetuating.

The mommies' approval and interest was so good for feelings of worth in a child. They cared, and so I cared. I felt there was symbolism in making the krustiki : Women, so delicate and lacy and yet strong as iron - easier to understand, while making krustiki!  We are batter in the hands of God, by whatever name you call Source of Life!  

Star-shaped Krustiki - super light and a airy and yet a satisfying treat to eat!

II ~ Krustiki ~ 1976         No act is really simple, and even the simplest tasks inspire complex thought.  With the Mothers and Aunties, I was learning the big lessons and was not afraid to think.  Working side-by-side, it was all easy. 

Years passed: growing up, I did fine in studies and truly blessed marriage and wonderful son and daughter!  Glad I worked and prayed and played and cared - my dreams came true, with work and love - and Motherhood of my own, with gifts to share!    Far away from 'roots' in every way, now it was not just pleasant, It was clarifying to do the krustiki-making on my own - it was so different and even more special. Connecting me in spirit,  with the Mothers and Aunties of my childhood, there was an overflow of happy love in the continuum.

My Mother visited often and the visits often included the special preparation of Krustiki, and now,my own daughter alongside us and joyfully, by her own preference! Exult!  To reward her interest... Not a word of teaching - "permissions" for her to enjoy and learn, as she pleased!

III ~ Krustiki ~ 1996          Time and time passing too swiftly! The family circle was growing up and well. Then My husband's sudden and early death Made the sweetness of empty-nesting not so easy.  Mother remained true when all lights failed due to the recession threatening nearly everyone. The lessons from those days with the "mommies" were MUCH  more than sweet recollections - but insurance policies that saved my soul when so severely stricken.

A reprise of girlhood Response work was considered a creative and classic choice to help grief recovery, and did, though it got important, became an adventure, including three kinds of rescue, and also American Red Cross, local and "away" work during Operation Desert Storm. And more - too much more.  I finally fell to injury and exhaustion.  Medical needs set up, I was relocated to the airy Connecticut Hills, near the lakes, rivers and waterfalls...a beautiful healing experience!     It worked partly because ethnic arts and crafts thrive there, and I was delighted to be asked to join in the seasonal group cooking of a few thousand  Krustiki, prepared by the Church as a fundraiser. 

Many of the women were seniors to me. Most of them did not know me.  Still, on the word of others, I was very kindly treated, and I reveled in the memories of similar times in girlhood.   I laughed at the anachronism of my "adventure boots" and promised daintier footwear next time.We worked in teams of two and I served as assistant at first; My partner wielded the irons, I was the tipper, flipper, tapper and drainer.  Another work team collected the completed crusts, sugaring, packaging and storing them till Bazaar time.

Now my senior partner, satisfied that I would not injure myself or anyone else, allowed me the lead task. I heated my iron, dipped it carefully into the batter, then into the hot oil and tended the twin krustiki  diligently. When they looked right, I eased them off the irons.  Pausing as the irons reheated, I glanced about and my partner who was staring at my work oddly. Why?  

My partner, mature and coolheaded, must have expected poor results from me, disabled, because  she stared wide-eyed at my "snappy" work, and then at me, and I quietly rejoiced in her respect, and the treasured secret smile for us both!  Or maybe it was just that is cool to Always wear world-class adventure boots when making krustiki?

IV~ Krustiki ~ 2016          And sharing this and its power to heal minor woes for its goodness.  It is still there - the glow of love created through such the "simple" tasks!  These words are a duty, a tour de force!  My Husband is gone long ago and fine and free again for a long time; but my Mother, 90 and in decline, no longer recognizes me and so, more than ever, these moments must be not be lost, I hope stories like this one bring a glow to all its readers. She passed away in December 2017 and yes…it is Christmas 2018 and the sorrow fading and rich and wonderful legacy remains!

These customs and creations make , in their making, life itself ! Gloria!

Praise for their maker and the Angels who seemed to bless us through it all!

---

The Rosette-shaped Krustiki, the best-known - they display so nicely- so light!

~ a popular krustiki recipe ~

Buy the Polish Rosette irons online in many forms and shapes - Amazon has them and many Polish wares stores online and off.

As with many of the world's favorites, this treat is called by several names,
& more than one country claims it for its own. In America today, we call them "Rosettes"
Or enjoy the literal translation, "little crusts".  Whatever the name, they are special! 

• krustiki or 'rosette" irons

• 2 eggs, slightly beaten

• 2 teaspoons sugar

• 1/4 teaspoon salt

• 1 cup milk

• 1 cup flour

• 1 tablespoon lemon extract ( vanilla or your preference is fine )

• confectioner's sugar for dusting finished cookies

Add sugar to slightly beaten eggs, then add milk.  Sift flour before measuring, then together with salt.  Stir into first mixture and beat until smooth (about the consistency of heavy cream).  Add flavoring. Fry as directed.

For extra nice Rosettes, allow batter to stand two hours covered in refrigerator before frying.

Caution: Do not do this with children until you have mastered it yourself.    

And later, When  there are children working with you, gently but firmly teach and stay aware that hot oil is HOT!   *** If you wash the irons immediately before cooking time, put them in a warm oven for a minute to dry thoroughly, or water in the crevices may cause the oil to spit and burn. Watch out for steam during cooking, too, and plan to test for the best temperature for the oil, and time in the oil, for a nice golden crust. 

...but, back to the fun!  Our church ladies group does up tons of them for fundraisers at our Christmas Bazaar.   They substitute the extract with some fine brandy or rum.....yum!......Theoretically, the alcohol evaporates during cooking, leaving only a special gentle flavor,  so they are safe for alcohol-restricted diets, but check ...The preparation can be more fun with this recipe :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UP0VKrfHdk     This video  is the closest to the Polish generations-old process that I could find.     May make my own video soon.    The video shows it is fun and simpler than you might imagine !   And worth the effort!

My commentary on this video:    

• Shows the double- headed irons, available online for purchase as "Rosette cookie irons"

• shows a very old sifter that I do NOT support - nice fresh clean sifter is safer

• shows the wonderful process JUST right, though, but

• does not show the optional turning with a cooking fork, in the oil to cook the white inside of the cookie - doughiness is fatal - crisp but not burned is key.

So, when the cookie looks almost done on the irons, take the fork and gently poke the cookie off the iron and over into the oil - let the cookie float in the oil, just a moment, till the white inside has crisped and then use the fork to remove the cookie to drain.

Takes a bit of practice and wearing cooking gloves if you fear you may splash.

New Years Eve Times Square 1966

Freezing - just freezing - and we were delighted!   In a few hours,  it would be 1966,  temperatures around 30F,  with significant wind chill that year, made no impression on us !

He and I  were in love!   We laughed, thrilled with  any excuse to hug close.    And so the weather was our friend, as we emerged from the parking garage.   The weather only added to the excitement of the evening and the thrill of being at New Year's Eve Headquarters at Times Square in  New York City !  

We'd earned the break!   Both of us had been intent on winning our gold stars all along.   Now, his first college done, and with the promise that he'd be working to get rid of the killer chemical, Agent Orange in Viet Nam, his military duty began:  Basic Training almost finished for him and on to special chemical training, then Officers Candidate School, after the holiday leave.    And for me, younger, a student break-time from college,  and job and happy to be hosting MY soldier at my parents home, most welcome by all.    Christmas in Connecticut was the best and now Times Square in our best city evening attire.   Yes!

So far, it had been a  happy holiday in spite of the dangers ahead.  Whatever it was, we knew it was our time, our game and we'd win thru anything on Earth or in Heaven.  We really believed that !   I still feel that the right kind of love, one that feeds the life lights, and improves the drive for life, always makes the right kind of difference.  There was nothing witheld in love and commitment and best integrity and now this glamorous night was ours! 

Tearing along the pavement, the glow now warming us as we actualized our plan.  There would be dinner, champagne and music and then back on the run, to the best spot for the view in Times Square, for the landing of the New Year's Ball !  

1966 ,   we are here and we are ready!   It may be war out there, but to us, it's about life !  

We did not plan on the cold and so we talked more and walked a bit faster than the dreamy tourist-y  stroll we had in mind!   At one point he joked about our pace being brisk and we began to sing "We're off to see the Wizard"  together, and even did the skipping dance for a few seconds,  to dramatize our pace - then more laughter.    Later in our marriage, "off to see the Wizard" became our code for any need for extra caution or push or special consultation - and would give us a winning smile in a difficult moment. 

That night - it evolved as symbolic in many ways:  Yes it was cold and dark - chilling to the bone if not dealt with -  and again we felt fully confident that we'd win through because the dark and cold were broken by  the lights of love, inspiration, action, friends and more !   And, though we were of the age to focus on perfect self-reliance, there were also  our saints and angels.  

We gazed intently at one another and kept up the brisk pace, with added powers and understanding.  Exhilarating !  I was so glad to be there and with HIM and no one else!  When you are in love, with a person, idea or life in general - challenge is an opportunity !

Navigating the density of the crowd, alone, was quite the thing to experience "for real" !   It was nothing like the like the television coverage of the night - nothing like the view from a warm sofa, as a home audience.  

They say everyone should visit Times Square at New Years Eve once in their lifetime.   Ohhhh, YES!  

The air, the night, the sounds and the crowd!  We immersed - we were one with the ocean of souls.    All sorts of people in the full range of dress:  casual , formal and costumes - the big googly glasses were fairly innovative that year, and so many having fun with the "Merch" of the evening!   We only wanted US, but I think we bought something for souvenir.  

(Will this story GET there?   I am doing it to you  it on purpose, gentle readers...waiting is maddening, no? )

It was still early and ducking in and out of the crowd,  we danced along now, on with our evening.

En route to our restaurant, we encountered a man lying against a building wall, possibly not sober, probably a homeless man, judging by his soiled, inadequate clothing and unshaven looks. Dressed to the nines, my husband-to-be and myself were quite the contrast and paused, ready to help him to warmth and some cash.  For a number of reasons, social consciousness  had recently been  brought to life and was growing.   And so we stopped and assessed and thought what to do.   This was the prosperous sixties - most out-of-towners never saw anyone so afflicted.  We were sad and wanted to help, but a NYPD policeman approached to take over, and so we went on, reassured and at peace about it.   

Dinner was grand !  Music, warm hearth, champagne and hot food, were twice as fine, after the chilly outdoor trek getting there!   The place was chosen by him for their famous Prime Rib, his favorite.   Of course, Sole Chemise en Blouse for the lady - the rule at that time.  

Pleased.    We relaxed and glowed and yet, we were ready to move on, when it was time,  because it was nearing THAT time -  the suspense was as delicious as the meal !

Nearing midnight December 31, 1965 !

Now truly on the quest,  we dashed once more, toward the Square and "The Moment"   -   the noise was WONDERFUL!  and then the countdown:

 "Ten !   Nine !    Eight !   Seven !   Six !   Five !   Four !   Thuuureee !   ahhhh-Two !   OOOOOONE !!!! .... HAPPPPPY NEW YEAR !!!!  "

Jubilation!    

All these years later and such good years -

and widowed and recovered long ago, it remains a treasure to remember our own Times Square New Year Kiss!  

A new year and at Times Square with the longed-for Handsome Prince at my side and I at his!   

A new year and feeling empowered for it!

We kissed again!  And many around us doing the same!

A new year,  not without challenge but without real fear!  

I don't even remember the trip home - we held on to that moment and cherished it along till it eventually faded on its own. That was one lifesaver we would never bite!  

It was a grand way to begin a grand year and a few months later we were officially engaged and that Christmas, married!  Feeling we'd done it right, so far, and happy to do more of the same forever together!

May it be so for you, now and always!

Happy New Year!

Elle