Christmas Wedding

After the ceremoney at St.Anthony Fairfield CT - at Frederick's Reception also in Fairfield, CT 12-17-66

December 17th 1966 - years of longing, and work and learning and more work and finding the moment of love forever born and winning through to this day!

At least for our children, long ago grown and living distantly with fine work and loves of their own I will share this "part one" of THE story of how we met and married.  It was all so grand to us, and a gift of empowering love is their birthright!  

But that's another story. More will come.

Our Christmas wedding turned out to be the Army's idea, and a lovely one!  We were a 'love at first sight" pair - the happy result of long dreams and preparation and long prayed-for. We'd dated for nearly two years and we found it easy to talk about everything:  there were no impediments to a bright future together.  As often happens, once engaged,  the planned date of 1969 , worked perfectly at first - his end of service sync-ed with  my graduation from college - yes!    But "Plan A" had to be dropped due to illness and financial setbacks to some of the top players in our lives - not a worry! The wedding date was accelerated to December 17th, 1966 at Christmas leave.  Even better! This meant we could be together as Commissioned Officer and Officer's wife and I could help Red Cross.  Of course, we were in a time of changes for us - some of which were not of our making and not of our desiring. But overall, such things were not a major obstacle. We were fine and families and legalities were pleased with us -  happy.

I look back and think, "Gosh, we were brave!"   We all had fine schools and fine studies and yet we were young, untried, new at adult life in any form, and that day, soon all off to war, and war is death!     I remember the intense joy at our love and anguish for his survival in VietNam - competing for my emotions, love won that day.

We grew up on John Wayne patriotism and were sickened and undermined by the unpopularity of this war.  But, just for now, even death had only limited powers in the face of our love!  We knew we'd come "Shining through" and we did.  War presented  opportunities to serve one another AND our country and community and family, too.

 In addition to the war to threaten this time of love's commitments, Mother and Dad were dealing with health and money issues , but they were the best, and so, cooking up a wedding helped everything !  

This wedding  project development was doing profoundly well at doing good in all ways.

In Fairfield, all  brides were in heaven !   If you grew up there, for a golden time you owned the town!   A blessed girlhood was paying off with a very happy start into adulthood!  Wedding social and fashion and mores abounded! l Rules - there were rules and one could experience lots of desireable extras if one bothered to seek and follow them.

 Young marriage is not really recommended, but we were were fine for it and it worked and lasted happily and successfully.  There was plenty of excitement to whittle the few pounds off for a very classy look for the pictures!   Happy cheat!   Money, reception, gifts, engraved invitations, flowers, and the people we loved!    Wardrobe?   My beloved "Nanna" a friend of the family was a designer and we had serious fun with it and the shop keepers in the NYC garment district treated us like visiting royalty one afternoon, shopping for the wedding gown fabrics.

We made a nice picture in our wedding things - My double-brocaded satin and faux white mink Christmas wedding gown and his  elegant  USACE Officers Uniform: oh yes!  It was going to be nice.

The day:   Everyone had  gone on to the church but the bride hung back for the classic "moment" on the threshold of her Father's house and stepping out over it to adulthood and  new life,  with a prayer for continued love for God and Man - especially one man!  Her Man!  The noise of war tried to crowd out the sweetness of the day and I recall ,saying silently to the heavens, " OHHHH NO YOU DON"T - not this day!  This day is not yours - it is our day."    

Snapped out of my reverie by a horn blast from my "carriage" ,  they promised to be going on to the church without me, if I did not come along as Dad did, to escort to me to Godfather Uncle Bill's long white car,   laughing that I'd miss my own wedding!   "Here comes the Bride!" , they called, laughing merrily,  then turned solemn,  as we approached the Church. The lovely vigil snowfall I'd hoped for had created the pretty scene and cleared,  and now it was the cool and crisp but sunny day!  Everything with the sparkling white coverlet and me afraid to own up to my own delight in it.

As we entered, it was clear that the arrangements  were being carried out really well: work was well done: all was ready and lovely, especially the hearts!  There for me was the church I helped fundraise for, festooned with flowers and ribbons all along my path;  and the people filled the pews.  There was my bridal party on ahead of me: maid of honor/cousin Betty; a sister of the groom, Mary; a best friend, my sister  junior bridesmaid in her first gown, Lorraine,  and  my boss' six-year-old,  our flower girl little Sandy.  
Waiting at the altar the groomsmen were a handome show,  in the classic line of duty: groom's brother the Best man, John Francis, in Naval Uniform, who almost took over the wedding when his Navy ship was delayed in docking and he had to make a wild dash racing down the aisle,to take his place on time;  next, in Morning coat, my brother, Rick, on his way to a green beret then red;  then Denny, a fellow officer from the groom's OCS ;  and for my kid sister, my groom's kid brother Terry !  Some guys!  I can be proud of them all to this day, thank goodness!

 My Father, almost ashen with solemnity, escorted me down the aisle and passed my hand to my soulmate's keeping, so handsome in his newly-commissioned USACE officer's uniform - lucky me  !  

Our priest at the service was a personal friend to my father-in-law, who'd studied for the priesthood himself, early on, then turned to accounting and law and many babies.  The vows:  It was time.  And we were ready and we were fine.  The event itself seemed to go too quickly, after all that preparation!

 But with rings and a kiss and a blessing and a song, and a full church giving a cheer, we were one! 

The Reception at THE place for it that year was dizzy, with two hundred in attendance,  but went very well, and soon we were at the Bridal Suite at the Hotel Americana in New York for the wedding night, and plane to Bermuda  in the morning!   We were just so happy to be "US" , we  enjoyed the beauties of the "eye- lahnd" and our time alone so lovely!   And when the Blizzard of '66 gave us an entire extra week at the Airline's expense - oh yes -  grand fun to be stranded on an island with one's one true love! What better start  - thank you, saints and angels!

Even a blizzard will clear  after a week, but homecoming would now be on New Years Eve and more fun, and then off to Fort Knox a few days later.  But that's another story.  

My wish for my newlywed children ?  Quote from a top pop film at the time:  "Gidget" - her Grandmother in the movie points to the family motto:  "Don't say that Love has been a disappointment to you ~  Don't you be a disappointment to Love ! " 

...easy, once you get the idea  

e.

New Years Eve Times Square 1966

Freezing - just freezing - and we were delighted!   In a few hours,  it would be 1966,  temperatures around 30F,  with significant wind chill that year, made no impression on us !

He and I  were in love!   We laughed, thrilled with  any excuse to hug close.    And so the weather was our friend, as we emerged from the parking garage.   The weather only added to the excitement of the evening and the thrill of being at New Year's Eve Headquarters at Times Square in  New York City !  

We'd earned the break!   Both of us had been intent on winning our gold stars all along.   Now, his first college done, and with the promise that he'd be working to get rid of the killer chemical, Agent Orange in Viet Nam, his military duty began:  Basic Training almost finished for him and on to special chemical training, then Officers Candidate School, after the holiday leave.    And for me, younger, a student break-time from college,  and job and happy to be hosting MY soldier at my parents home, most welcome by all.    Christmas in Connecticut was the best and now Times Square in our best city evening attire.   Yes!

So far, it had been a  happy holiday in spite of the dangers ahead.  Whatever it was, we knew it was our time, our game and we'd win thru anything on Earth or in Heaven.  We really believed that !   I still feel that the right kind of love, one that feeds the life lights, and improves the drive for life, always makes the right kind of difference.  There was nothing witheld in love and commitment and best integrity and now this glamorous night was ours! 

Tearing along the pavement, the glow now warming us as we actualized our plan.  There would be dinner, champagne and music and then back on the run, to the best spot for the view in Times Square, for the landing of the New Year's Ball !  

1966 ,   we are here and we are ready!   It may be war out there, but to us, it's about life !  

We did not plan on the cold and so we talked more and walked a bit faster than the dreamy tourist-y  stroll we had in mind!   At one point he joked about our pace being brisk and we began to sing "We're off to see the Wizard"  together, and even did the skipping dance for a few seconds,  to dramatize our pace - then more laughter.    Later in our marriage, "off to see the Wizard" became our code for any need for extra caution or push or special consultation - and would give us a winning smile in a difficult moment. 

That night - it evolved as symbolic in many ways:  Yes it was cold and dark - chilling to the bone if not dealt with -  and again we felt fully confident that we'd win through because the dark and cold were broken by  the lights of love, inspiration, action, friends and more !   And, though we were of the age to focus on perfect self-reliance, there were also  our saints and angels.  

We gazed intently at one another and kept up the brisk pace, with added powers and understanding.  Exhilarating !  I was so glad to be there and with HIM and no one else!  When you are in love, with a person, idea or life in general - challenge is an opportunity !

Navigating the density of the crowd, alone, was quite the thing to experience "for real" !   It was nothing like the like the television coverage of the night - nothing like the view from a warm sofa, as a home audience.  

They say everyone should visit Times Square at New Years Eve once in their lifetime.   Ohhhh, YES!  

The air, the night, the sounds and the crowd!  We immersed - we were one with the ocean of souls.    All sorts of people in the full range of dress:  casual , formal and costumes - the big googly glasses were fairly innovative that year, and so many having fun with the "Merch" of the evening!   We only wanted US, but I think we bought something for souvenir.  

(Will this story GET there?   I am doing it to you  it on purpose, gentle readers...waiting is maddening, no? )

It was still early and ducking in and out of the crowd,  we danced along now, on with our evening.

En route to our restaurant, we encountered a man lying against a building wall, possibly not sober, probably a homeless man, judging by his soiled, inadequate clothing and unshaven looks. Dressed to the nines, my husband-to-be and myself were quite the contrast and paused, ready to help him to warmth and some cash.  For a number of reasons, social consciousness  had recently been  brought to life and was growing.   And so we stopped and assessed and thought what to do.   This was the prosperous sixties - most out-of-towners never saw anyone so afflicted.  We were sad and wanted to help, but a NYPD policeman approached to take over, and so we went on, reassured and at peace about it.   

Dinner was grand !  Music, warm hearth, champagne and hot food, were twice as fine, after the chilly outdoor trek getting there!   The place was chosen by him for their famous Prime Rib, his favorite.   Of course, Sole Chemise en Blouse for the lady - the rule at that time.  

Pleased.    We relaxed and glowed and yet, we were ready to move on, when it was time,  because it was nearing THAT time -  the suspense was as delicious as the meal !

Nearing midnight December 31, 1965 !

Now truly on the quest,  we dashed once more, toward the Square and "The Moment"   -   the noise was WONDERFUL!  and then the countdown:

 "Ten !   Nine !    Eight !   Seven !   Six !   Five !   Four !   Thuuureee !   ahhhh-Two !   OOOOOONE !!!! .... HAPPPPPY NEW YEAR !!!!  "

Jubilation!    

All these years later and such good years -

and widowed and recovered long ago, it remains a treasure to remember our own Times Square New Year Kiss!  

A new year and at Times Square with the longed-for Handsome Prince at my side and I at his!   

A new year and feeling empowered for it!

We kissed again!  And many around us doing the same!

A new year,  not without challenge but without real fear!  

I don't even remember the trip home - we held on to that moment and cherished it along till it eventually faded on its own. That was one lifesaver we would never bite!  

It was a grand way to begin a grand year and a few months later we were officially engaged and that Christmas, married!  Feeling we'd done it right, so far, and happy to do more of the same forever together!

May it be so for you, now and always!

Happy New Year!

Elle