Big story for a Little Cat.
You may have seen this painting at my site -
I rent half a house from a lovely couple and their daughter and she was their pride and joy - Cookie Cat. One of three and then four at one time, two others passed on after good long lives, and so did Cookie last weekend.
She was very old and a true Jellicle cat as in the famous show - small and black and white and full of spunk and spirit and yet quite well-behaved…most of the time.
I travel with work and my childhood and early momdays were rich with animals of all sorts and so now I miss pets in my life, sometimes, and Cookie repaired that void.
She would visit my apartments often, though less in her last days. Her diet was the realm of her owners, but I had a basket of toys and the laser light fun and a towel that was only Cookie’s on hand to accommodate her when she stopped by.
She was perfect in every way. She would greet me like family when i returned from errands. On may way out to my day, she’d find me on the path to the street and bond for a moment’s friendship.
Cookie found me last week on the path and it was special, solemn and yet fine as goodbyes can be.
I’d house sit when the owners were away and mind her food and water and make sure the pet door was there for her. Pals. Returning from my day yesterday and seeing her gear outdoors to be cleaned was how I knew that the day had come and Cookie was gone.
An email from her owner to announce her passing was at INBOX, waiting for me, and backed up my guess.
Cookie was why I took this rent. NOT a joke.
Cookie was “the sign” people look for when they get ready to say yes or no to a new place.
My bestie as a toddler and little girl was my spaniel also named “Cookie” - a sidekick on my adventures and my guard. So nice to have this new Cookie as my new neighbor!
She is gone now and I was thinking of the many ways she enriched my life, and there are stories of US.
She came when I called and cats don’t do that.
We always had a smile for one another, and cats don’t do that. So she made me feel special and I returned the gestures.
She was alert and interested in things so I shared a .gif of a cat typing at an Apple laptop at my site with the caption “My Secretary - not for sale” including it among my paintings https://ellefagan.com/fineartstorepage/catsecretaryatapplelaptop
She was a charmer and brave - the brook that forms the back border of this property goes on for several houses in both directions of us and Cookie would “go on walkabout” across the yards and back again! Brave!
The property never had a rodent as long as the cats were here, and in fact, that is how we knew she was failing.
Cats love getting birds too, but her owners taught Cookie to not bother the birds in the aviary out back and she was wonderful about it. Except for the rare occasion, when nature won, the birds were as safe as she.
So I was mildly surprised to find “evidence of former bird” on the path on my way out one day some years ago. Looking further up the path, was Cookie. It was super clear that she forgot her rule about not bothering the birds. And Cookie was making her “Innocent of all charges” pose when I looked at her with mild suspicion: The pose? - both white paws quietly together and a dignified stature - even seated and petite and no sound. Everything about her said “innocent of all but the loveliest things”
- .except for the feather protruding from her mouth!
She’d had an accident some time earlier, that left her with no feeling in part of her lip for some years, so she was unaware of the damning evidence.
I knew I must not smile, but geeee……
I knew “failure to report might make me an accessory, so I told her owner and righteous in her defense, we cleaned away the evidence and followed up with a jolly cup of tea that day!
I gave her owners one of several portraits I did of her - she sat for them well, and now it is very nice to have that to add to our many happy memories of Cookie-Cat , friend and neighbor. 2013- August 27, 2022
Etonne - deus ex machina
Flashback to share while watching “Thirteen Lives”
The film is not tto be missed and collect a watch party for this latest from Amazon and Ron Howard! “Thirteen Lives” is the true story of the Thai cave flooding crisis that trapped 12 soccer boys and their 25-year-old coach.
You may.remember it - the whole world followed the story with interest and response as need be. It was a though the devil himself was being a sadistic chess master - setting up a scenario with all challenges and dangers and no way out! But they did it! I won’t spoil your viewing here, but at one point the use of the anti-anxiety medication Xanax was key, and the mention of the name brought back the memory. Xanax and other fancier medications have had to win through some pretty extreme challenges, too. And combining it with Tofranil might have killed me. The combination being the thing with xanax.
I’d had a reaction to a medication to fix a tennis injury, and I lost 14 pounds in 24hours, hyperventilating and experiencing acuteness . So the xanax/tofranil was prescribed to help me get a grip on the collateral anxiety. Tests were run in a controlled environment to make sure I had not suffered hearth attack or stroke - that is how severe was my experience of it all. I was a Smith and good and happyh and hardy and fit and such things did not happen to me.
The tests were fine and home and back to my busy wife and mommy work and other jobs and activities to get my own little business going finally.
But life would not go back to normal BECAUSE the mix of xanax and tofranil was Causing the stubborn anxiety reaction following the rirst reaction. The disorientation, agoraphobia, random anxiety and more went on till we got off the xanax, and then just the logical feeling of having been badly served!
At that time, I still did not realize that it was the tofranil/xanax mix that caused all that trouble. Later I had some insight that somethign was “not quite right” but bigger things invaded my life and the issue was forgotten.
Only tonigho when the name of that drug so long ago make the picture spring to mind in full color, did the thing flow clear. I should have sued and I might have been killed.
Hmmmmm it’s late - done for now and done. Stay funed.
Note on the January 6th Capitol Riots Hearing this week.
My forefathers told me "Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear!"
This memory of loving little lessons came to mind today, re: the January 6th Capitol riot.
The hearings are as sickening at the event. Do better.
CDC and wise leaders will tell you that normally spirited political rallies DURING a Terrifying Pandemic Lockdown were GUARANTEED to "mess up", to put it mildly.. My Mother woudl have said "What did they expect?"
BUT THERE WAS WILD FRAUD DURING THE 2020 ELECTION - any other statement is a LIE.
Caused by the “workarounds” for safe voting during the pandemic - many took advantage and tampered with results - bizarrely in a few incidets I SAW.
MY CALL???
Those days will NEVER be perfectly resolved - they were unheard of moments in our beautiful and proud history and will probably be only reconciled - never resolved - with compensations to those who were directly injured and deep apology from ALL SIDES that such a moment could occur.
I worked at polls " in the south in a town without a bar and handcast ballots" and others...I SEEEE.
And somehow when some of the badstuff happenend I happened to be privy, but since I am older and was a risk, I said almost nothing at the time, other than "HEY THEY ARE CHEATING AND NO ONE IS STOPPING THEM' !
My feeble lockedown voice was about as effiective as "I'm telling my Mother"
But If I had been running for public office and the fate of a nation and a fortune spent on the campaign, and was forced to idly watch as the process was so abused, and truth and honesty violated so wildly, I would have "lost it in a meltdown ,too"
Shakespeare's "How like is god is man when mercy tempers justice!" I remember from high school drama class role as Portia.....here I am again, to reprise, swan song or no.
SPRING 2022 !
Spring Love in the time of Covid!
I live alone and have actually enjoyed catching up on binge-watching EVERYTHING!
As we are into our third year of Covid, I am giving back to the things that the films gave me, it seems and finding myself quoting thoughts words, and deeds from film.
We certainly are challenged this spring! Most of us have a day or two when we wail. But this latest era has been a real challenge!
I got some body repairs done, and finally able to function normally and catch up my earnings, but then covid got me sent back to home and zero live shows for my art for a while, and now it’s WAR.
With all my redcross work, and pathetic bereavements of my own, covid still overwhelmed me with the idea that thanks to covid, so awfully awfully many were as shattered as were our children and I when grief took my husband long ago. NO ONE should need to deal with sudden grief loss of an indispensable other.
Even death cannot win over the good if we make some effort, and WE WON, BUT IT WAS NOT CHEAP to enjoy a normal life and sunny days again.
I am older and all I can do is share grief recovery bits here and there and cry only enough to help keep my eyes clear. In fact, there’s another movie quote for it:
In the film, “Show Boat” Awwww..what a sorrowful moment! ,notes the boat captain - Agnes Moorehead his wife, replies in her righteous crustiness. “EYEWASH!” That’s all sorrow is good for - eyewash!
And now this conflict between Ukraine and Russia, like one more punishment on us for things we never did or dreamed to do.
Worse - it means one more time of sudden sorrow and grief-shock for a huge number of good people ONE MORE TIME….!!!
In the 60s movie, “Charade”, when pushed to the wall one time too many, I remembered Audrey Hepburn’s most-justified wail at Cary Grant:
“Give me ONE GOOD REASON…” to endure further stress and possible injury! He replies lovingly and sorrowfully, “I can’t think of one!”
NO - war with Russia on the table again?!!!
Back at the time when the film “Charade” was done, Nikita Khrushchev roared to the Western governments, at a UN meeting, TELEVISED:
“We will bury you!” Banging his shoe on the desk for emphasis!
All we knew of such extremism, was that it spawned a lot of neat spy movies!
And yet, every day, we knew that we were in danger of war coming to our doors in America.
Here we are again!
My whole family are good and brave people, and active in compassionate response in every way.
Nevertheless, we shriveled and slid under the desks in our chairs in tears over the idea of engaging on the side of our beloved Ukraine people.
We dare not abandon them, and yet:
We send our military planes to help them and then what? … and Khrushev’s boast so long ago, today provided a blast from the past at me.
What outcomes might our act of righteous and compassionate response win for us in reprisal?
And so then we think there is value as we engage in this internal conflict with this moment!
We wail full of love for all that is good and the duty to make this love an action word, and risk our lives, since we must.
And yet, we may not need to worry about living to regret it, since we won’t live to see that day.
“Give me one good reason” to keep faith with the faithless mess that brought us here to such threatening days!
And yet, I am filled with joyful memories of the Miracle of Spring!
I am full of light as I remember my parents so good and friends full of the joyful creation of our part of a fine life -
Especially at this time of year, and Spring shopping and Spring cleaning and Spring music music music!
All these daily tasks for work and personal life must be done, no matter what, and we believe after all and allow ourselves to be encouraged and we encourage others.
When each of us does best show of a fine day to make and share, we WIN for all of us for always.
And still I am weepy too much just now, if I stay at this part of doing my part today.
I can’t leave you laughing today, but I can share this song I found some years ago. Click on the link - music and lyrics may help you as they do me.
Many people do not know it but the famous “Affair to Remember” movie with Cary Grant and Deborah Carr, revived by “Sleepless in Seattle’s” ladies was a remake.
Leo McCarey it’s wizard, made the film and called it “Love Affair”, with Charles Boyer and Irene Dunne but foolishly released it in 1939, when competition for the prizes included “Gone With the Wind” and “Wizard of Oz”….so gem or not, no one remembered but Mr. McCarey and so the title of remake and it WON. There is a really great “never give up when you know it’s right” lesson in it.
But all I want to do here today is share the song that helps me on a sad day and it’s from the 1939 film, sung by Irene Dunne, as she waits for the upcoming reunion with her beloved keeping faith with their goal and promise to love and make a fine life together..a
It’s perfect for trying times and for fixing the blues:
View and listen to
“Sing, my Heart!” Sung by Irene Dunne in Leo McCarrey’s “Love Affair”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvxfKYjJQiY And here are the lyrics:
Sing My Heart
as sung by Irene Dunne in “Love Affair”
Go on and sing my heart
You know it's spring my heart
So why not show it?
Pretend you're glad my heart
Although you're sad my heart
He mustn't know it
Remember, love is not an easy game
No two hearts ever beat quite the same
Go on and dance my heart
This is romance my heart
So keep pretending!
Do not despair, my heart
We still may share, my heart
That happy ending!
If it's to be, we soon shall see
And if it's not to be,
No power on earth can make it so
Pretend it's spring my heart
Go on and sing my heart
For if you sing, he'll never know
interlude
Go on and dance my heart
This is romance my heart
So keep pretending!
Do not despair, my heart
We still may share, my heart
That happy ending!
If it's to be, we soon shall see
And if it's not to be,
No power on earth can make it so
Pretend it's spring my heart
Go on and sing my heart
- Until we KNOWWwwwww!!
And now back to work for me. Clocks foreword one hour on Sunday for us here. Benjamin Franklin’s basket of inventions include Daylight. Savings Time.
Elle 3-11-22 Friday PM
All Souls day 2021
I need 1500 people who want to pray 20 rosaries per day for ONE year.
Date negotiable, but probably beginning in MAY. The two Mary months are May and October - size months inclusive.
When we are done we will have prayed ONE BEAD for each of those lost to COVID-19. ….or
I can do it myself for 1500 years, but that doesn’t work well.
1500 people to pray 40 rosaries per day for six months
3000 people to pray the 20 rosaries per day for six months
this figure is based on the recent announcement of FIVE MILLION the world total lost to Covid-19 and its gang.
Widowhood Anniversary today - thoughts
Difficult to believe it has been forty years since the sudden and early passing of my husband and handsome prince. I was younger and accelerated in studies and though I was. young when he died from a ruptured intracranial aneurysm one morning, we’d already been inseparable for seventeen years and our children in that sensitive stage of early puberty.
Statistically we were in for a difficult journey, and I remember the triumph of grief recovery - and that’s how it felt - the flipside of loss in a sudden death is a “great day in the morning”. sudden upsurge and elation when the grief is done - a balanced act from the shock and suddenness of of it. Money mess, children’s impact, a broken heart for company, and all of it followed by the Recession of the 80s and empty-nesting - I experienced such devastation that I brought our children back to our home state and made friends with other family, cousins, in-laws - etc., in case I did not make it.
Health and fitness projects and new work and time did the job and i did date at least - but it was 20 years before a normal date felt like a normal date. Then i was injured and disabled and so here I am finelly with some readiness for remarriage.
What a really fine relationship we enjoyed - and how wonderful he was! I know that my subsequent relationships have been nice because of the fine one we enjoyed!
May he rest in peace. There is so much I could write here. I send best wishes to our children - I am very proud and happy with them and just wish we lived near one another so I could get to know their grownup selves before i am too old for it to be any fun at all. They were a delight to raise and my head and heart were right for them and I treasure many happy memories of their childhood and keep many of their mementos for them. It matters that I can still send bast of love and god wishes!
A good love is a treasure and I wish that for everyone. It is time for me to remarry finally. Almost a surprise and a nice one! I know that older couples keep their independence better than singles as we age. And it just seems right, finally. Let’s see what I can do.
Right to Life: Slavery - Pre-born and Aging
The cause of help for Premature born and their families has become a cause for all seasons with me.
Today, at the Independence Day weekend, I must specially remember my late husband, who proposed marriage on the fourth - and who was also born prematurely and died on July 24th 40 years ago, as a result of the birth defect from his early arrival. His siblings also suffered from issues. And before that, my Father’s family-famous early days in Gramma’s stovetop incubator, inspired me.
Today’s medicine makes such issues diagnosable and treatable, and most , like the famous preemie pictured here, can smile in victory over death.
During February / Black History Month 2020
This week, I was asked if I agreed that some of Lincoln's Statements against Slavery were similar to those against Abortion.
I am very pro-life and YES - Abortion and Slavery ARE similar in many ways. Both deny the right to life to the point of having the right to cause death.
I include my notes on it here, but you do not need to read them - you must be very busy. But I have a strong statement to Add to the mix:
YES, I can truly support the Life of the unborn - entirely too well! The unborn and aging are symbiotic!
The photo here of a famous Preemie is my latest superstar, angel and mentor!
She must increase and, aging, I must decrease - but by the hand of God and Nature and Nurture - NOT NOT NOT by the hand of others committing cruel acts - PERIOD!
Would any sane person harm a hair on the tiny head or squelch the heart of the celbrator of life? Of course not - and yet, she is exactly the level of body development that is murdered in late-term abortions. But not this one! She made it!
If she can triumph like that, shame on me if I fail.
ABORTION is a human right violation of the worst kind - denying the constitutional right to life of ones who cannot defend themselves.
Since Cain and Abel's story, all decent lands avow: "I AM MY BROTHER'S KEEPER"
"I am my brother's keeper" is written into the basic laws of every good land.
Such laws themselves are the source of every fine moment we enjoy!
We ASSUME we have the right to enjoy faith in others, friendship, love, marriage, partnership, health optimizing, celebration, growth, and maturation.
Every one of these moments we treasure and create and have grown to expect. Every one of them is sourced in the Right to Life and the Responsibility to support one another and protect and defend.
Slavery denies rights to self-direct in one's life, in every way possible, after birth - a basic right - to the point of death.
Slave owners did not kill their slaves more than they did because they cost a lot of money. But still many were murdered for any reason the owner thought just.
Slavery makes a person a thing - some say all of us are more an entity, more like a thing than like a person, anyway, but then someone also says that's our fault and our choice. Is it?
But when things degenerate, so that we feel dehumanized, we have the obligation to say so and make improvements and changes.
Who can - who will speak for the PreBorn? ALL of us have the OBLIGATION to speak for them. They cannot speak for themselves yet. " I am my brothers' keeper" is never truer.
I think that Older Americans are EXACTLY the easy heroes for the Right to life. Both feel a threat to the right to life.
Even a supportive modern society oppresses older people.
Because statistics say that "living to be 100" and older is the way of it. But if the failing begins at the sight of the first gray hairs, the result is not freedom - it's just one more way of being society's prisoner.
My people tend to long life and not all of them enjoy perfection in any way: not the richest, or the smartest, or the most fit in many cases - but we last long, dancing or limping. Life says we are valid if we choose a rocking chair or rock wall climbing for the later year of our lives, but there is so much discouragement!
I thought I'd found some of the right stuff in AARP but when I looked into it further - it's run by "the children" and not okay with me to buy into just one more "Pat on the head" for a dear old lady experience.
It is not empowering if the empowerment is actually one more scenario of youngsters giving oldsters permission to do stuff.
I am talking with AARP to see what they have to say at my observation that its essential mandate may be a lie, in direct contradiction to its stated goals.
I am not talking about bravado - if the baton in hand needs to get to the finish line in record time, I pass it to someone who can do it. Commonsense. In my redcross work, I have been delighted to do tasks to support the youngsters still running to ground zeros, having no desire to become an added victim to be saved, because my knee gave out when I tried to run and help. I donate my art to fundraise for them, I Help at HQ in backup tasks for education and materials when it is badly needed, and more when I can.
My arts business is not a Hobby, but finely trained through colleges and mentors and award-winning and shows worldwide. I chose it as a girl because I was said to be gifted and talented and was supported for its development - it was a neat path, with tons of options that would fit my life "womb to tomb".
I have done my best to put it to work lifelong and have a fine and happy history. And beloved family and spouse till his death and children till their empty nesting.
My works in art have been put to super use in family, schools, church, and military, and red cross and one at the White House - they hang worldwide and have won top prizes.
I did not realize why I was feeling so RIGHT in supporting the rights of the unborn. They MUST have a right to wrap their tiny fists around the fingers of those who care.
I speak up for the Right to Life of the unborn regularly, in part, because I love them. In part because I am at risk as well!
I love the right-minded activists, for their valiant actions to do the right thing and save the world back up from the death place.
Now I am finding my own smile, as the infant in this photo smiles and empowers me.
Bye for now.
Truly
Elle
P.S.
POLITICALLY PLEASE GO FOR "END INFANTICIDE and LATE TERM ABORTION NOW".
That much can be won immediately...then better with continued action.
In my heart with honors in my Catholic education grades 2-12 and Catholic action always, I believe that once a life is underway no one has the right to deny it. Life begins at conception.
But I do support required education and birth control and safe morning-after actions, and even the safe 'morning after' options would be rarely needed if education and birth control were in full use. Why is it so far-fetched to REQUIRE people to be responsible for NOT getting pregnant unless it was their right and their time and their preference? REQUIRE BY LAW - certainly better than murdering our own.
It is 2020 - one must go pretty far into the woods to find women who truly do not know better and cannot obtain birth control.
We won't let a person drive a vehicle without permission but we let people create life unhampered, uneducated and unfit to care for the life...wildly dumb.
Elle Smith Fagan
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
As a girl, my education related to childbirth was ahead of its time because of death and injury in childbirth in the family. It worked - it was sensitive and expert - my parents were amazing in their actions on this with me. We had the books and the doctors including Andreas Lazlo, around 1955, whose afternoon teas at our home are alive again for me today: He spoke with respect and passion for his research - which turned up some really amazing stuff for his time. He shared it in his book but was "ahead of the times" to the point where he was called a wacko and suppressed. Today, the findings he shared are in ordinary use!
......but NOT exactly my favorite : this one I remember: on one of his trips to Africa he encountered a tribe of working people that included the women. They took a tea once a month that released the 4ounces of the typical menses in half a day. They stayed in on that day, and were said to be "on well". Then back to work with the other women. Of course, if the woman was trying to get pregnant, she skipped the tea, and worked around it.
It was natural, socially and physically simple and safe - embraced by the whole tribe.
It worked.
They treasured their babies and an easier lifestyle.
If we can get past this time of making a hacking mess of it all, to something like this, well then...IT'S ABOUT LIFE!
The book with this story exists - try to find it - it was suppressed in 1955 when it first appeared but is honored now - "Doctors, Drums and Dances" by Doctor Andreas E. Laszlo.
ELLESMITH Elle Fagan Art
Member: Connecticut River Valley Chamber of Commerce https://www.crvchamber.org
website ellefagan.com
ellefaganart@icloud.com
Office Studio: 327A Maple Street East Hartford, Connecticut 06118
Phone: 1-860-918-7773
facebook https://www.facebook.com/ellefaganart
Skype, FaceTime, GoogleHangouts on request
May 24th 2021- Sharing Birthday memory
As we emerge from lockdowns after covid, the usual feasts are so much more!
I remember with gratitude, the happy childhood birthdays and the joyful place the world became for me on those days! Spring and things in bloom and people I loved who loved me nearby to share the fine celebrations Mother and Dad would cook up! Pretty dresses, and white cakes with pink icing and candles to blow out - and more each year! Fun and music and sharing affections and gifts!
So it was easy for me to pass that on with my late husband and our own children later on. And when it was my turn to be the Birthday person, not one moment of the day was wasted!
My husband and children swooping into out master bedroom with the good breakfast tray with flower and breakfast and gifts and cards in its side pockets, would unfold hteir plans for me for the day! If it was a weekday, it meant songs on the way to school carpool and cheery greetngs from many friends at work and social moments and a stuffed mailbox full of cards to keep me busy at break time and lunch with friends and then after school and work were done with us, the fun. Gift openingss and treats and then off to dinner and a show or sometimes just a close evening at home with friends, and the day over too soon!
Such memories are worth every moment’s effort - today they are pure gold in photos and in my spirit - they are vitamins that never age or quit!
But this year….this year!
Last May, covid was new and I was doing my small part with arts and redcross always and being reallly good at minding the mandates.
I’d just been given the good to go after a knee fix, when it was “ sheltrer at home, everyone”. It seems like an eon ago, no?
And no day was free from prayer for blessings and for the end of the pandemic, for the creation of the vaccine, and for the ability to learn the good lessions in such times.
As a survivor of a life-threatening bout of the Fort Dix viral pneumonia outbreak in 1966, I found it easy to be reallly mindful of all rules.
And now it is one year after covid took over our lives and though it is not “All clear” yet - we all have reason to rejoice!
The vaccines are here and I get my second dose tomorrow - what bettrer birthday gift than a better chance at being here for my next birthday!
This morning someone found me with a real eye-opener: many who have been working at remote offices don’t want to come back! It may be sociological evolution but mostly I am guessing it’s an odd form of PTSD. The virus is gone but we’ll be repairing the collateral damages from it for quite a while yet. God bless and keep us all through it!
Happy May!
Respect Life - Respect Love
We stayed pretty much like that - the challenges fed us. And the good we did stll inspires me though he passed sway some time ago. “Love’s Light Triumphant”
More than a decade after having been widowed, I was runnung around doing life really nicely again. Our children grown and thriving and my art en route to the White House - just for a special Easter event, done annually.
I was re-reading the Helen Keller Biography. Her spectacular true story “The Miracle Worker” reached film honors in 1962 and inspired my mother to learn lip-reading and re-open her life after being stricken some years before, too young, and suffering. Mother was reborn! Another spectacular success for a formerly-disabled woman.
It was soulful and sensitive and loving - the Helen Keller story in our home, and we would discuss it from all sides for hours - so I was truly enjoying the re-read that day, decades later!
… when one paragraph changed my life in one tiny spot - forever.
I knew that Helen Keller learned and succeeded in life well beyond expectations. She thrived so well and was so lovely as a young woman that men found her specialness attractive and had crushes on her - including one to whom she became briefly engaged. The consensus however was that marriage would be a threat to Helen’s life and it was ended, to the sorrow of all for awhile. The issue of disabled rights to love and romance and sexual rights remains a touchy one even today, when the issue has been won: We respond to make a disabled person’s life as rich and full and normal as possible and the right to love and be love, disabled or otherwise, is law today!
But at that time, - no. I did not understand or support such mean and unfair controls on a person’s life. My Mother in her hearing aid, let me help her when I was six and it was a revelation - to help another in any way was a thrill for a little girl - and still is. The Helen Keller story became one of our own and we thanked God for it.
So it shook me deeply to find in my re-reading of the Helen keller story, that her sweetheart was named Peter Fagan - my late husband’s name.
I did not know - it is not funny now, and it was not funny then. A really poor-taste coincidence.
I saw my late husband in my minds eye when I was thirteen - met him at a college dance af few years later and it was love inarguable at first sight and lasted until his death.
What muse of evil mischief thought it fun or funny to match a deaf woman’s daughter with a guy whose name happened to be Peter Fagan and in Connectiut where the story unfolded? His son is Peter John Fagan and so my case is a living one. The oddity of it makes it worse. I truly did not know, but if my husband was alive and we were still the hsppy pair, I know we’d have our way with it, in discrete but certain righteousness.
But alone, and aging with memories tender, I still would like to know “What on Earth” !? We were a pair and thanked God with good deeds for the world every day and I have done more of the same and extra in his hame and that of the Lord who made us!
I know that when we paired up, it was VietNam and my joecollege guys were in a noir mode. I finally decided it was about the grim times back then.
We did really well till his death and those who joked, gave us the last laugh.
But LOVE is the miracle - the empowerer - and love has taken such a beating with the upgrades in mores, lots of collateral damage has occurred. Life goes on and we bend or we break, guaranteed.
But if we are to triumph and endure, we must do this: When you speak and pray, ask that we respect love again.
Talk with your loved ones about your love / their love - spouse, children, co-workeres, even! Do not say “thy know that”….make it real - make words together about it. Words. that create a real network in the mind and heart and soul. I am older and feel compelled to share this lesson from life.
We do not need more psychological thrillers or childish romcoms - we need really attractive LOVE STORIES - the real thing to inspire today’s people - tomorrow’s people - to find the delight, the fun, the worth, the power the enduring life in LOVE.
Comment welcome.
What's in a name? Google-gangers unite!
"What's in a Name?"
~ a celebration of the diversity of arts expression among those sharing only a name in common.
"What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet !" ~ the famous line from Shakespeare, Romeo of his Juliet.
"What's in a Name?"
~ a celebration of the diversity of arts expression among those having only a name in common.
"What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet !" ~ the famous line from Shakespeare, Romeo of his Juliet.
This page resulted from the true consternation experience , when an artist who shared the last name, Fagan, actually suggested I change my name, so as not to confuse her online fans. YIKES!
It was no joke to her and some trouble before it cooled. The issue of reliable ID for an artist's work is important, and more about it at the end of this post. YEARS later, I am looking for a Leprechaun behind that 2004 controversy AIMED AT me, since it arose at our Saint Patrick's day, and hope you find this page as much fun I did creating it. I won the peace by first respecting her upset. Once I realized where she was in it, it was easy simply researching and sharing this PARTIAL LIST of Artists named "Fagan" to help her realize the way of it online. It worked.
Take a quick look at this honored list and followup as you like! Google-gangers - my namesakes, all artists named Fagan, and a few others who seemed to come along with them, somehow, as I have done, in making this page.
It is our business to celebrate one another !
I hope you agree and will accept this invitation to join the celebration ... of a line, a hue, an image, a message, a thought, an inspiration, and the diversity of those who create them !
And now, onnnnnnn with the parade! ALPHABETICALLY
Allison Fagan - Ontario,Canada
Amanda Fagan, artist, former events co-ord for the American Cancer Society, Meriden, Los Angeles CA and .my Daughter...she does not have much posted online,but has won her visual arts awards, as well. Incognito on her honeymoon.
Barbara Fagan Speake Super mystery books - Kindle at Amazon Buy one! https://www.amazon.com/Barbara-Fagan-Speake/e/B009LRDG9K%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
Beverly Fagan Gilbertson, the "Google-ganger" whose fluster inspired this page. Friends!
Bob Fagan, NOT the TVwatercolorist...silver gelatine photographic prints New York City USA
Bob Fagan, yes, the TV Watercolorist, Florida USA. John Leben, his film producer says, "Bob continues to paint and teach in the Ft. Myers area and he sells his work down there. "
Brian Fagan - art, achaelogical writing, Florida USA ( I think )
Christine Fagan - Artist
Danielle Fagan - Digital artist - Universities in VA and Texas USA
Garth Fagan - Dance Org, internationallly famous, NYC USA could not leave him out
James Fagan 19th Century Magnificence USA
Marc Fagan - Giclee Photographic Prints - Georgia Gallery USA
Peter Fagan, at his jump-off site, "Theta-g.com" A founder and webmaster at San Francisco Chronicle's site "the gate", 'True Who-vian', Tolkien fan, and my only son.
Peter Fagan, Tyne & Wear UK find his famous "ColourBoxCats" and "Home Sweet Home" sculptures on the internet in collectibles and for sale. His no longer sells them, and the link here is to his present financial business.
Peter Fagan, Sculptor and teacher Illinois USA namesake to husband and son, but no relation
Regina Fagan Artist and Teacher Chicago Arts Institute trained and great smile
Robert Fagan, noted 18th Century painter - at the Tate, London and at Hunt, Ireland
Sandra Fagan - American, lovely birds !
Sarah Fagan - wonderful paintings!
Sarah Emily Fagan - youthful artist and Tolkien fan - good luck!
Sean Fagan, Arts Director for Clown Arts - Berkshires USA-
Fagan Promo - arts marketer - Pennsylvania, USA
RE: Identifiers for security and legal purposes- see your tech-spert for online identifiers andthings you can do on every one of your artworks to mark it as yours without intruding on the art image...a sneaky invisible watermark of a sort. The bottom line is that it is up to YOU to find a unique identifier for your work. The equivalent of YOUR signature. Beyond that, as your own style evolves, it may be easy to see it is YOUR work and no one else's. I use secret hidden squiggles , sometimes a monogram etc...then I simply include reference to it in my artworks catalogue - the one the artist uses for files and reference. Some images will slip thru the cracks. that is the way real life works, but even then: your digital photo of your artwork may be more than enough to do the job. IF your name thing is so people can find YOU and not anyone else - good luck. Adding some middle name or keyword to your name and then sharing that helps. Promoting YOU online a LOT helps. And for the rest, celebrate life and stay friendly about it all or you will be undermining your own creative energies.
Well! That's it for now, folk! And this is a partial list - it's a wide world with a plethora of Fabulous Fagans sharing fine lights in all directions. God bless you ALL! Add your name here and I will followup.
elle
Covid Masks non-medical mask Guidelines
I hope you enjoy use of your fabric masks from ElleFagan.com
They were fashioned of quality materials in a smoke-free, pet-free environment, with frequent washings of everything, by a healthy person.
They should be fine to use immediately, but feel free to launder before use if you like.
CDC.gov says these non-medical masks of cotton ARE good to use
they keep us mindful
they prevent moisture droplets from noses and mouths from being shared
they MAY BE REWASHED up to TEN TIMES before disposing of them
they should be at least surface cleaned and aired between uses
they should be kept in a ziplock when not in use
they should be disposed of in the ziplock when it is time to trash them
A hot iron will disinfect as well as other methods - HEAT not ice works to kill covid.
===============UPDATE SEPTEMBER 14, 2020=============WATCH OUT:
1. ELASTIC - Flat elastic is an irritant. The comfort and durability are better with classic mask ROUND soft elastic, if the quality of the elastic was good, in the first place. I tested - even makes it thru hot irons and bleach.2. METAL NOSEPIECE - HAZARD, cut skin, pierced eyes: NO Metal or Plastic nosepieces - NO !! Unsafe in any form. TAILORING DESIGN can create a SAFE nosepiece made of nice safe fabric- use clever fabric tailoring work or safe interfacing.
3. CLEANING - I LOVE anti-microbial fabric but the "warm water and air-drying" idea for cleaning is not good enough. Follow wash with HOT clothes dryer or hair dryer or hot IRON to "anti-bac" - A hot STEAM iron must heat to 212 F to steam. Several seconds of Steam Ironing is supposed to be effective and be sure your fabric can handle high heat.
If you want more masks, they are at the site homepage toplink, or directly here:
https://ellefagan.com/fineartstorepage/cotton-non-medical-masks-limited-quantity
I started with making groups of them for free distribution by request.
Then after my first hundred, I began to sell some, just enough to recoup my costs.
So I do hope you will want some.
May the time when The Novel Coronavirus is memory come swiftly!
In the meantime, we have been amazing and may we remain THE BEST!
Ellen Smith Fagan ellefagan.com
p.s. National Geographic has more on cleaning masks https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2020/05/coronavirus-best-way-to-clean-your-face-mask
May 24th, 2020 - 55 Again today - delighted to be here!
This is going to be a story. We are living in an important moment in the history of Planet Earth. The Novel Coronavirus has has had it’s effect on every soul on Earth and a few extra-terrestrials.
If I survive this scary time, I will remarry. But my prayers and actions are with loved ones and the grieving. None of my immediate others has passed or even been ill with the flu - may it be so onward.
It has been easy to conform to guidelines for several reasons:
1. PRO EDUCATION in the matter. I am pro arts, but lifelong RedCross as well and did shelter response “in the day” and Understand Public Health and Safety and Rescue. This scenario is a big deal - go ahead and think it so.
2. PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF THAT TYPE ILLNESS I survived the Fort Dix viral pneumonia epidemic of 1966. Not as contagious as Covid, but the story similar. I’d visit my fiancee on weekends and so…I might have died and he was hospitalized for 21 days. Our wedding some weeks later found us young and happy and twenty pounds lighter - each. Our friends teasing us that we did it on purpose for the skinnier Wedding pictures. NOT. Unremarkable onset, high fever for a few days, soaked bedsheets when the fever broke, congestion, delirium, terrible weakness when it finished with me. NOT recommended. I’d forgotten about it - who wants to remember such? I remember now. And I am older now and stay fit but my odds of surviving Covid are not as good at “upper midlife”. EASY TO BE REALLY GOOD ABOUT SAFETY AND DISTANCING AND SHELTERING AT HOME. Whole Foods Delivers.
3. RESPECT FOR THE NIGHTMARE OF GRIEF SHOCK AND ITS RECOVERY JOUNEY. I survived the sudden and untimely death of my Love of my life, my husband and father of our children, suddenly and way too young - after 17 years of inseperable partnership - days of love and laughter that we thought would be ours as long as cared to care for it well. THREE HUNDRED FIFTY THOUSAND deaths from covid mean that, if each has 4 close others, mean that well over ONE MILLION PEOPLE ARE IN CLINICAL GRIEF-SHOCK and half of them won’t even realize it till the main crisis has gone its way and life gets back to normal.
We can all start with good wishes and prayers in all directions. We can all be kind and even make the happy moments as usual - doing life is always the best. ALL THOSE PEOPLE - the survivors - are enduring what is said to be “Worst on Earth” - We pray for the repose of the souls of the dead, but I pray for the grieved and for their healing - I hope I am able to help a bit somehow - I am praying with every breath and as I make these masks, assembly-line fashion, there is a holy thought for each. If there is even 90 days warning, there is time to protect the love, the money, the children - but not when it happens as fast as these covid cases. I remember - sweet lord who made us - have mercy!
The human spirit is a miracle and we were personally so bitterly stricken, we healed and most of these people will heal as well - but it is a journey. And in the meantime….yikes.
Worse, just when we need a friend our friends are not able to be helpful - they may have loved our loved one, as well. They may have the loss of someone of their own to deal with. So they are suffering too. Help, at such times, comes from pros, strangers and others who just seem to have that miracle moment to share for our sake.
So all I can say is an urging to all to pay attention -
if you spot an acquaintance, co-worker, neighbor who seems to be very actively grieving, at least ask - “how are you doing?” - Grief Shock is physical and abusively mental - not just feelings in grief-shock. There is care that really helps. And They may need help. I recommend getting some counseling, because they can measure it all and advise the grief-stricken if serious action is needed. Find a way to say “BELIEVE” “Hang in - it DOES get better!” say it as gently but effectively as possible. It DOES get better. THEY KNOW THAT - but they do need to hear it from others. It is empowering.
When people are afraid, they can, too-often just get very “every man for himself” about it, and that is bad. When coronavirus is nothing but a memory, most of us want to be able to look in the mirror and smile.
Embrace It - it's about LIFE - always!
I am thinking of what my little family went through, years ago, successfully dealing with grief-shock and healing in an intense sudden death scenario of our closest loved one.
And I realized that novel coronavirus was creating that scenario in the thousands! The dead are at peace and prayed for, just in case, but for a bit, every one of the grieved is in a place said to be one of the worst. Sudden loss of a loved one almost always brings some unreality with it - but it passes.
Those who are grieving have others they “go-to” for a bad day, but this time they are probably no help - they loved him too- they are grieving too, or in shock and unable to help anyone. Often, the first ideas do not work at all. Then it gets frantic and you let God carry you when you realize there is no one else handy to trust with the job. Then things get done and most find the path and get on it and get there.
If you are not grieving, see if there is a thing you can do to help those who are. Even just a wish or prayer - listen, since they need to talk it out if they can. if you share words - try: “Believe!” “ Hang in, it gets bette” - these very brief affirmations work and not much else to be said for a while. IN our family “Snak-l-frok” - a nonsense word was helpful for that stunned feeling and a momentary escape form a reality that is relentless at first.
Funny: When our son and daughter and myself began to see the “great day in the morning” of grief recovery after the sudden early death of “the man o’ the house”, there was a honeymoon of recovery - we could see we were going to be okay. But then came the feeling that nothing that bad could ever happen again. There was the conviction that, somehow, our spirits would steer us clear of anything other than sunny days, forever.
NOT.
That was many years ago and it’s still one of the most difficult parts of grief-recovery - the realization that it can happen again and probably will if you’ve recovered enough to fully engage in life again. And when new grief happens, after that first time, it’s mean. But after that, with me it got normal, and there was the bonus of many of life’s former hassles being non-events by comparison at least.
AFTER this virus is done with us, is the time for concern - one can hide a lot of reality in crisis noise - but we must have figured that out long ago. Today’s images and stories and passionate support of all involved, is NOT hamming it up - it’s restoring our inner supply - it is VALID - do some of it. It is shoring us up to serve through the quiet time after the headlines are about other things again. If we reinforce all the good things and sort of AIM for the “Great day in the morning “ in it - we’ll get there.
p.s. - if you are the sort to look around and see if there is a thing you can do to help - protect their money - every scammer on the planet will get at them unless they are protected. It took me five years to fix junk that cost a lot of money and done before the funeral was over- before I had reliable speech from the shock. To this day, I think that the lowest on earth are those who exploit the resources of the grieving. Maybe that’s a thing I can do - it sure would be satisfying.
COVID19 Why it's easy to be good about "stay home"
Easy- happily engaged to my handsome prince and distraught sometimes about his coming Viet Nam duty, I never missed a chance to visit him at Basic at Fort Dix, New Jersey He had an RA number because if he enlisted rather than waited to be drafted, they’d let him get rid of Agent Orange with USACE Black Diamonds.
He hated chem warfare - many of his chem major pals did. It was insidious and he prayed for the day when all chem warfare would be stopped. Easy to be proud of him. On one visit, I think in spring or summer 1966, he mentioned that we were not chumming with the others - an epidemic of viral pneumonia at the post was making the guys very sick. He apologized to me and said we might get it with all the smooching, but not much to be done about that.
Sho’nuff - ugh…the same scenario as COVID - feeeling a bit “off” and then literally colllapsing on the couch at the UB Student Center the following week, I was quite alone and did not sneeze on anyone - but by the time I got me home, I was very ill. High fever worsened into delirium and I life was hazy, but I will always remember my Dad’s face anguished over my condition. Mother bustling about as the fever broke it was chills and so much sweat they say I went through four sheet changes - I have no memory of that part of it. For a month, I often needed a hand to do more than cross the room , twenty pounds lighter in a few days.
Then as I came round they told me that my fiancee, who had finished at Fort Dix and was at the Army’s Chem School at Fort McClellan Alabama, was in the hospital there, and had been, with the same illness. He made it too, but many did not. And he was glad to be okay to continue to Officers Training for USACE , then at Fort Belvoir, Virginia. He graduated at the top of his class on December 8th and our Wedding pictures on December 17th found us jubilant and joking that were soooo sleek for the pictures, thanks to the huge weight loss from the illness. “ I had fun” helping him up the stairs in joking sympathy to have all the demands of a brutal disease AND brutal war training, all prima.
I forgot about this story till COVID19 - who wants to remember viral pneumonia? I researched it and found that the Army had been fighting it for awhile and found effective immunizations to help against it around that time. The later Swine flu epidemic of 1976 was more famous, but I will never forget what it was like to go through that and though my habits and fitness are great, I am older and hope my children think to find me , honeymoons or not - family legal and virtual hugs at least - just in case. Here is one of the links about the 1966 scenario http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.358.9446&rep=rep1&type=pdf
BEEE GOOD and you’ll BEEE HAPPY
Coronavirus cheer for the Stock Market - true story
It was 1987 and I was filling in for an estate admin for some very special clients of the staffing agency I worked for at the time, mostly because I had the security clearance, grew up on Connecticut, had training and skills experience and loved it.
The home was lovely and the home office near the front entrance was serving as a mini hospital for the dying Wall Street magnate. He was one of those who rescued the Stock Market after “The Crash of ‘29” and we loved him very much. A patriot forever. This time it was another crash and he couldn’t go out in the street and lapel and compel people to reinvest in America!
His adoring wife was being brave and good but it was not easy. I had lost my beloved husband a few years before and knew her sorrow. I was just staff and best to keep going with my duties.
It was day’s end and the ailing man had been ushered on his stair lift to a fine night’s rest, and I was doing the last tidying for my own goodnight.
I liked the people and I wondered what else I might do to maybe bring a smile to challenging times.
The place was elegant, tasteful, sophisticated but not overdone and I really wanted to do something and found a few things i might shine up, without upsetting he status quo in the kitchen.
I found my challenge:
Baccarat world-class crystal, had made a huge Crystal bull - the size of an infant of about three months. It was worth around twenty thousand they said, at that time. They still sell variations on it. The bull reigned on a low shelf in the Breakfast room where the morning light striking it made actual rays of light emanate in all directions. However, like our economy in 1987, it was all fogged up - dimmed.
One of my college professors was expert in restoration and had done for the White House . I saved all my notes. Care and process plan was the the thing. And it went like this: 1.2.3.
1. waited for all to tuck up for the night and then collected the classic willow laundry basket and several nice bath towels. I filled two kitchen sinks with wash and rinse water, and lined them with two more large towels.
2. took the basket , lined with the towels by its two sturdy handles, and carefully set the darling safely in and back to the kitchen sinks. I did not sing rubber ducky but did coo to it.
3. With the bull still in he sink, i drained the water, to make the lift out to the counter more stable, and another dry towel for dry and buffing and then into the basket and back onto the shelf for tweaking - one last goodnight moon cooing and off to sleep.
The next morning was the BEST - I was called to the Breakfast Room and the lady of the house was smiling and eyes twinkling- and I saw why - one crystal Baccarat Bull, radiant once more - she laughed “You just HAD to shine the bull!” , wished Wall Street might soon be radiant again, as well. Such delight in pleasing only happens in such scenarios and thiry-three years later, it’s as good in memory as ever!
I can’t help this time, but I think our President is in his element and we will be pleased with a new radiance on Wall Street soon!
Elle in The Time of Coronavirus - a Diary
A LIST OF MY life's little bad moments happened on Tuesday afternoon, to instantly shore me up - I am still here on the good side of them all enjoying the rest, as my late husband would have said, "The Good Stuff!"
If I am here, it's because YOU - and you know who you are - YOU ARE GOOD STUFF!
American Workshirt Study Water media cutout on paper.
Go right ahead and be a people - respect others and yourself if you are wobbly this is one of those times when you can win if you
FIND AN OLDER WISER ONE AND PRAY DO NOT SWEAR
"DO NOT FAINT BUT PRAY ALWAYS" luke 18ish
The List....wow, I am good ! :-D Bet you are, too!
I am defnitely respectful as ARC since VietNam, but not too afraid and working at home - focus on NORMAL as much as possible because it WILL get worse before it gets better. Sing - good for he lungs
Don't swear - it actually weakens you - or do WANT to give that much away? :-D
I was thinking, at "upper midlife" and busy as usual, of he times in the past where all good things were won during challenge and remembered a thing I was THRILLED TO FORGET:
My fiance andI survived the Forth Dix Viral Pheumonia epidemic in 1966, high fever, delirium, four sets of sweat soaked sheets and a month of weakness. ...and then it went on in my thoughts....
Such goodness, prosperity and happiness and fun was NEVER without The Little Bad Moment" ...
- But another month later, we joked about looking like Hollywood for our wedding photos with our superslim figures.
- And a week later, stranded on an island honeymoon due the blizzard of 1966 - ordered in room service and helped others
- And three months later, at Fort Knox with redcross helping new wounded on he ward and at homeoffice due to semi-quarantine to protect us during pregnancy
- And in shock at the same hospital when the crowding meant I was abandoned during labor with our son.
- And vilified 2 years later as a Pioneer Birthing room mom delivering our daughter, but a long-planned dream, rejoiced WHILE in labor
- And in a faint on the den carpet 9 months later from exhaustion and relief with our men home and loving us still.
- And in counseling when our new work was expected to go perfectly , with an infant on each hip, WHILE being called Yankees and Catholic like dirty words
- And ten years later, sudden-death widowed, recession nuked, with teenagers and great honors and gifts, abandoned
- And three years later empty-nested
- And three years later robbed of what cash I was able to restore, with the legal but not financial win.
- And one year later, spinal injury that left me sitting on the floor against my will
- And a few years later with my work at the OMG White House
And I am still at it and fine and grateful to be here without much obscenity or profanity and good health and willingness to work and play still as fine as ever.
YES...
Left-handed blessings - "Specialdeals" due to COVID-19 needs
grape hyacinth - water media on paper by ElleFagan
So many good deeds happening - we are showing “the Right Stuff”
1 Free Audible Stories https://stories.audible.com/
2. Free streaming of entire operas by the Metropolitan Opera in New York City metopera.org
and will add more here as they come to me….PLUS these stories ideas submitted to Connecticut’s “Hartford Courant” writer Steve Smith at his request:
1. Amazon paid me a $5 thank you for reporting Sellers who priced Purell skyhigh, saying "Amazon wants to be sure everyone can get the things we will need these days"
2. They said "do not hoard" but then others hoarded and the rest of us feel dumb, having to forage to keep the cupboards properly stocked.
2a. Whole Foods is a part of my lifeline, as I am in due to senior status and recent knee surgery - they are so swamped with people home, ordering out that you may need to come back to place your order ten times before it goes through and even then expect substitutions till the get "up to speed".
Still my things got here on time, on budget and with a smile and pretty much what I ordered. Do tip.
3. Hoping my son in London does not become ill , since the travel ban is on. Ditto my daughter in Los Angeles.
4. I am widowed and sell my art to supplement benefits and love it will not retire. Courant featured me a lot at one time. But the spring shows probably will take place this fall and so I will be selling online and taking advantage of special money to help promote it.
5. Violence in the home due to everyone "Too close for comfort" happens - I used to do response a bit. So these wonderful treats and distractions that our society is offering MUST really be put to work.
6. Thanking God for the PSAs - "It's not about YOU" to those who do not DISTANCE because they do not realize they may be fine but carrying the thing to others who may fall very ill from it.
7. But it's an ill wind that blows no good - the spike in demand for things may have closed off jobs, but it has created tons of jobs too. And when these response jobs fade out with covid needs, they can go back to what they were doing and in the meantime, still earn.
As for me I am "IN" - hoping to remote counsel with redcross while catching up on spring cleaning, apartment decor touchups, financing the new artwork promotion, and updating my documentation , just in case.
Thank God for all the neat things people are doing to be cheery and charming in this difficult time. Saint Philomena the healer is in the famous Red Cross Tiffany Windows at NHQ in Washington, DC - As redcross 1967 til now, I hope to counsel remotely again, and praying for sure!
Crucifixion - Ash Wednesday Note
Why does insight come upon arising? THIS is what I had to deal with BEFORE my feet touched the floor, BEFORE my morning coffee! Mercy! Not one but three crucifixion insights!
ONE
I love you, Jesus! I am very sorry that you had to prove your immortality via public execution, and a matter of record, to be sure people knew that your Death was the Truth. Only then could the Miracle of Resurrection be true as well!
As we Catholics begin the Lenten season today Ash Wednesday, we are reminded of our own mortality, and not to lord it over others who suffer or die. The concept is in every religion, belief system and government and tons of similar thoughts in the Bible, Old and New Testaments.
We are reminded that we are human and not divine. When we die our bodies are gone forever - but we are alive forever, in the spirit, to one extent or other - with huge variations depending on the individual. It’s still the call of the living over the remembrance of the dead.
Grief recovery is all about resolving that one - if the life was good, before the death, we want to remember it so that we can rebuild on good ground and find new life and new love with the confidence that comes from having enjoyed it in the past. It takes time, more or less, depending on the nature of the scenario but most people “get there” My loss was bad, but I got there and have again since - the recovery reveals wonderful possibilities along the new path.
TWO
But today is Ash Wednesday. As we begin the Lenten journey to Good Friday and Easter Sunday and a new Spring, we accept the evil of Crucifixion. As a girl, I thought only Jesus and a few others in olden days suffered such death but that changed with growing up.
I saw perfectly good men in my life crucified in every way but the physical, right before my eyes. They called it the way of things and simply ganged up on somebody and bullied them to pieces, in school, church, and community. And that was just the men! My upbringing was classic and educated and lovely in most ways - in some amazing ways, but the women were sometimes worse. In the name of creating and supporting virtue, they truly flayed any of the women or girls who wandered from the model of the correct feminine way of that day. But to me, the worst was when the men corrupted and then condemned a woman in their society, in most UNmanly way. “Myownnn” would never do that of course - so unheroic! But as I grew up I realized that even my own Father could make the devastating remark if pushed. They were and still are, a bit backward about their grieving.
As we age, more and more of us are widowed - what about now? Are we to be tarred and feathered, oppressed, exploited, bereft of what is ours? It happens all the time still, even in high places. You can SEE the group studying the scenario, wondering how much they can get away with on this grieving broken heart. So why did we need Nineleven? We are already as terrorized as need be!
What about now? Educated and active, I did my first counseling at Fort Knox, Kentucky, before our children were born and believed I was seeing the Parousia - the Second Coming - all human issues helped with counseling - no one left to die in sorrow! This is true up to a point and yet, the mess is still the basic. When someone is widowed and bereft of more than the spouse, they need and have a right to restorations - of equal value or better. Hasn’t happened yet and some even take PRIDE that it hasn’t happened yet, and stand watching their grieved, ready to exploit their efforts and recuperation. These vigilantes do not even consider that they have no right to the rights of the bereft. They have the holy mission to help, with kindness, social attention, and invitations of the nicest kind - NOT, adding insult to injury. Even Jesus was brought down from the Cross after a bit. But not “ourrown” sometimes.
THREE
Just in time for Lent, my church is cleaning up its act and expressing sorrow and anger and shame, and paying out what reparations can be made, for the abuses in sex and violence and monies uncovered in the Catholic Church here. Our good pastor was so sad and supportive, bearing guilt for sins he did commit. He should NOT cave like that - he should help as always, but he ought to rejoice that the sin has been uncovered and justice won and the goodness restored!
An evil that was happening has been stopped.
The time to feel shame was when the coverups were supported and the fact that “Failure to report makes you an accessory” a legal “basic” since the dawn of man, was overlooked and left to the point of PUTRIDITY.
The insolence of these criminals boggles the mind. But maybe it’s in part our group-howl over the “un-fix-able” harm done to all who believed in them and whose church experience has been undermined or at least threatened by their evil.
The good news is that our evolution means they won’t get away with it as before. We find them. We are educated and the children will tell their parents now.
There is a “left hand of God” in this - even in this:
Maybe this is why Jesus said I am the Light - not the men or their things - I …I AM!!! God’s church is here to help but it is not God - only God is God - the immutable Good.
The one we love, who empowers all other good loves on Earth and the Universe! “…who can neither deceive nor be deceived!” So, even when our faith in our earthly spiritual pathway is damaged, that leaves only GOD - only God and no one less. it probably makes most of us a bit less clueless, but sad when it happens this way.
We know there is Ash Wednesday and Lent and Good Friday and Crucifixion. But we know that there is also EASTER and Resurrection and Exultet! The prayer of rejoicing!
And this is my message for Ash Wednesday this year. LOOK in your life. Crucifier or Crucified, this is a grand time to FIX IT It’s easy and the rewards are great!
Charles Ethan Porter
"Apples", by Charles Ethan Porter.
Please enjoy these references to the work of my neighbor in time and space.
Wikipedia's fine Biography of Charles Ethan Porter
Black Intelligensia
Black American Art
Mark Twain Protege
Vernon Rockville area Art.
Fine Artists of the Florence School
Charles Ethan Porter was born near my old bungalow in Vernon Connecticut, was a protege of Mark Twain, who raised the money to send Mr. Porter to Paris to refine the training of the talented Rockville, Connecticut native. And yet, it is said that Mister Porter painted in the Florentine (Florence, Italy) style. In either cast, with Charles Ethan Porter, it was always an elegant style.
At one time, his artwork was so much in demand he kept a studio on Fox Hill AND one in Hartford.
He was an important member of the "Black Elite" in those days, as well. See the links below for details.
All sources agree his work was later suppressed by racial discrimination, only to triumphantly re-emerge in these more correct times.
But many of his paintings remain hidden, from those old days, to make grand discoveries by descendants.
The new day we enjoy today is making it possible for all to enjoy his fine work once more.
Vernon Historical Society
Links to Charles Ethan Porter art online...
much of it from our Connecticut Historical or the Amazing Mr. David Driskell of Black American Arts Fame.
1. This one from the Arts Center named for the famed David C. Driskell, the Charleton Heston of Black American Arts elite: https://driskellcenter.umd.edu
2. More on C.E. Porter - https://spu.edu/depts/uc/response/new/2016-summer/features/charles-ethan-porter.asp
3. Citizens of Color, 1863-1890: The Black Elite: The The "Talented Tenth". Charles Ethan Porter. http://www.hartford-hwp.com/HBHP/exhibit/05/3.html
4. Top Source for all things "Charles Ethan Porter" at the Vernon Connecticut Historical Society Vernon's Fox Hill with its three-state view was Mr. Porter's home for part of his life.
Mr. Porter's archived writings include a recommendation from Mark Twain, courtesy letters of introduction, and the Historical Society here has reverently Archived and shared his work and history. Mr. Porter's work and life are favorite Vernon school display projects.
Whatever your source, do look up his work - it is truly elegant and top-notch!
Charles Ethan Porter noted Black American Painter
Trump 2020 Campaign Song
LYRIC VOTE FOR DJT!
to the tune of Abba's "Take a Chance"
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America's still free
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Donald Trump's the first in line
He will keep us free
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He won't let us down
We are not alone
Our proud banners long have flown
America's still free
Home of LIberty
Gonna do his very best
And it ain't no lie
If you put him to the test
They stay flying high!
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He's a certainty Vote for DJT!
We still need him, and we know
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There's no better place to go
He won't let us down
We are not alone
Our proud banners long have flown
America's still free
Home of LIberty
Gonna do his very best
And it ain't no lie
If you put him to the test
They stay flying high!
Vote for DJT
Hey America! He's a certainty!
Vote for DJT
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba, ba-ba
America's still free
Home of LIberty
Gonna do his very best
And it ain't no lie
He's a certainty!
Vote for DJT
Source: elle fagan abba spinoff for DJT 2020